Two Loves, One Loss
by Marish06
Summary: Elliot and Olivia get a second chance at love... With a little someone special in the mix.
1. A Normal Day

This is a story that is slow to develop and will be slow in coming, but is full of a lot of surprises. Now don't judge the story till it's at it's end and even then have faith in me because the ending is a shocker. There will be some M rated parts but for the most part it's all T, I think. I donno. I'll change it if it's not. So here we are. Enjoy!

SVU Squad Room

Manhattan, NY

May 1st

It was a normal day at the 1-6. Olivia and Elliot at their desks, finishing up paperwork, Fin and Munch at theirs, bickering away as usual. Elliot looked up from his paperwork and over across his desk at his partner. He didn't know why, but he suddenly realized how beautiful she was and glowing at that.

"Stop looking at me and finish your paper work."

"How did you-"

"I always know."

At that a shit-eating grin covered his face. "It's that mother's instinct kicking in."

She smiled. "Shut up."

Olivia was engaged and madly in love with an architect named Nicolas Daniels and they were currently expecting their first child, a boy. She was six months pregnant and was truly showing. She was unbelievably happy, the happiest he had ever seen her in the seven years he had been working with her. She always smiled now and he made him happy to see her finally smile.

A tall man wearing a blue Armani suit with a white dress shirt and a coordinating tie walked into the squad room. He had piercing blue eyes and wavy long dirty blonde hair that came down to his neck, and was carefully styled. He was clean-shaven and looked as if he was from the upper class. He snuck up behind Olivia and placed a loving kiss on her cheek. She turned around and smiled brightly at him, before pulling him to her for a loving kiss.

"Hey, hey, hey you two. Watch the PDA. This is a place of business, lets keep that way, huh?"

Nick broke the kiss. "Shut up. Stabler. When did it become a crime for man to kiss his fiancé at work?"

Olivia chuckled. "I'm almost ready, babe, just let me finish up here real quick."

"Ok. Take your time, baby." He stood up and waved to the room. "Hey, everybody." Everyone smiled and waved back at him.

Olivia finished writing something down then stacked up her files. "Finished," she said before standing up and giving Nick another kiss. He took her coat up from off her chair and held it open for her. After she put it on he went to her locker and retrieved her things.

"So, what do you feel like tonight?" Nick asked.

"I feel like a big balloon," she replied.

"No, silly, I mean food."

"Food? Well, in that case, I feel like an overgrown watermelon."

"Livia." He chastised.

"I want cake. Chocolate cake. Yup. Chocolate on chocolate cake."

"Ok, how but something that I can eat too?"

"I'm feeling Chinese."

"Chinese it is. Anything else you want?"

A wicked smile came over her face and she pulled him towards her and stood on her tipy toes to whisper in his ear. A broad grin came over his face and she stood back and looked up at him, biting down on her lower lip.

"Sounds good to me." Nick replied and grinned at her.

"Hey guys none of that." Elliot said seriously.

"Why? Is it because you ain't gettin' none?" Nick replied back.

"Shut up, Nick, if you want to keep those pretty teeth of yours."

"Hey, you keep your hands off my fiancé," Olivia said seriously. "At least until after the wedding," She finished with a smile.

"Thanks, Liv," Nick said sarcastically.

"Any time, baby. Any time."

"Well, let's go get your cake and my Chinese."

"Excuse me, you mean our Chinese, right?"

"You know I spoil you too much, right?"

"Yea, but that's because you love me."

"No, it's because you're carrying my baby." Nick replied before receiving a punch in his arm. "Oww! What was that for?"

"For being _funny_."

"Oh, you know I love you." Nick said pulling her closer to him and slanting his lips over hers.

"You'd better or this is the last time you touch me."

"Well, we don't want that do we?"

"No, we don't. Now let's go and get us some food," she said putting a hand on her growing stomach.

"Yes, lets." He wrapped his arm around her shoulder as they headed for the swinging doors that led outside the squad room.

"Bye, everybody," Olivia called.

"Bye," they all said, as they watched the happy couple disappear.

"Nice to finally see her happy," said Fin.

"Yeah, especially after seeing her date all those dirt bags," said Munch.

Elliot simply nodded; he sat in silence envying the "perfect" relationship his partner now had. His marriage had ended nearly a year ago and he now missed the closeness and love of a woman and a family. He saw his kids every other weekend, which wasn't nearly enough, but he had no other choice. He wondered if he'd ever have another relationship as good as the one Olivia had with Nick, but figured only time could tell. He packed up his things and left to go home to his lonely apartment.

SO I think I'll implement our old deal. The more reviews the faster the update. (And warning to all of you. You may not like it now, but it gets better. I promise. for reading. ) Thanks


	2. Love Lost

Remember this story moves slow. So don't get all of your hopes up after this chapter. Ok? ;)

SVU Squad room

May 2nd

"I still don't see why you can hit him but I can't," Elliot said.

"Because," Olivia said in between laughs.

"Because why?"

"Because, I said so."

"And now she has the motherly tone."

She chuckled again and wiped a tear away from the corner of her eye. "Shut up."

Elliot and Olivia were "catching" that day and were waiting for something to come in. They had been sitting around and talking about whatever came to mind. Telling jokes and just having a good time. The phone suddenly rang and Olivia picked it up.

"Special Victims Unit, this is Detective Benson speaking." Elliot watched on and waited for her to relay the information. "Yes, this is she." Elliot watched as her smile disappeared and the blood drain from her face. She hurriedly hung up the phone and got up from her desk. "I- I-I got to go…I, I have to get … Where? Where are? Keys … I need keys," she stammered. She seemed disoriented and confused as she stood up and began looking around. She found her keys and looked around for her coat.

"Liv, what's the matter?" Elliot asked.

"I-I've got to go."

"Where?"

"The hospital."

"Why, is something wrong?" He asked gesturing to her stomach. He knew she had had a routine doctor's visit the day before and was concerned that maybe her doctor had recently found something.

"No… There… There was an accident and… Nick and…" She ran her fingers through her hair. "I go to go."

"Ok, I'll drive, you're in no condition to do so. What hospital?"

"Bellevue."

"Alright, let's go," he said taking her hand and leading her outside.

"Elliot."

"Yes?" he answered turning his full attention towards her.

"I'm scared."

"I know," he replied wrapping his arm around her as they headed towards the sedan.

Bellevue Hospital

Manhattan, NY

May 2nd

Once they arrived at the hospital Olivia rushed up to the clerk's desk.

"Hi, I'm looking for Nicholas Daniels, he was brought here by ambulance. He was in a car accident." Olivia spat out in one breath.

"May I ask your relation?" Asked the woman sitting behind the desk.

"Yes, I'm his fiancé. Please, can you tell me where he is?" Desperation coloring her tone.

The nurse looked down at the clipboard in front of her before answering. "Right this way, the doctor said he wanted to speak with you. Follow me." Both Olivia and Elliot followed the nurse into a small waiting room. "I'll go get the doctor." Olivia began to nervously pace the floor. She knew what this room was for. She knew why they were here, but she refused to believe it until she had it confirmed.

"Liv, maybe you should sit down." Elliot was worrying about the effect of her stress on the baby.

"I can't, I'm too nervous." Just then the doctor walked into the room.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Roberts, the nurse told me you were here to see me. Now, may I ask who you're here to discuss?"

Olivia let out a frustrated sigh. "Daniels! Nicholas Daniels! He's my fiancé. Tell me what's going on!" Elliot watched on becoming more and more angered at what this was doing to her.

"I'm sorry, I'm the wrong doctor. Let me get someone else," the doctor answered.

"Wait, can't you just tell me what's going on?" She cried, begging. This really bothered Elliot. He had never seen her like this before and he had never seen her beg for anything.

"I'm sorry, just a resident, It's policy here to have an attending for these kinds of cases."

"What kinds of cases?" She asked.

"Just hold on, give me one second." The doctor answered holding up a finger and heading for the door. He turned the knob and had pulled the door back only a couple of inches when Elliot came up behind him and slammed it back. He was tried of seeing this jackass fuck around with his partner.

"Were you one of the doctors working on him?" Elliot demanded.

"Yes, bu-"

"So you know what happened, right?"

"Yea, but I'm-"

"Look, I don't care who you are. You know what happened so stop fucking around with us and just tell us what fuck happened!"

The doctor sighed and turned around to face a very nervous Olivia. "Your fiancé was hit this afternoon by a speeding car. It was a hit and run. He was brought here where we worked on him for awhile I'm sorry, but your fiancé didn't make it."

"No." Olivia said in disbelief. "No…that can't…. It…He can't be…" Elliot walked over towards her as he saw her eyes begin to fill with water and her stance begin to waver.

"I'm. So. Sorry." The doctor repeated.

"I want to see the body"

"I don't think that's best, he's not in the best shape" the doctor replied.

"Yea, Liv, I agree."

"I'm a cop! I've seen dead bodies before!" she snapped.

"Yea, Liv, but you've never been engaged to any of them and you were never carrying their baby."

"No… No… No…" Olivia continued shaking her head, her voice becoming more and more defeated every 'no'. Elliot steeped in front of her and held her face in his hands. He looked at her with sad eyes.

"Liv," he said softly and that was all it took he face crumpled and her lip quivered.

"Oh God," she cried before burying her face into his shoulder.

Great sobs wracked her body as Elliot held her in his arms. He cradled her head as she sobbed into his shoulder and clenched his shirt for dear life. He felt her begin to waver as her knees became weak and moved them over to sit in some chairs that were near by.

"Excuse me," the doctor said before leaving.

Elliot paid him no mind and simply sat and her as she cried and shivered. He couldn't believe that Nick was dead. He had made such an impression in her life. She was engaged to him and carrying his baby. He had changed her. Nick had brought out a side of her he'd never seen before. He made her happy. He made her smile. Now he brought tears to her eyes, and his heart went out to her.

He noticed her crying had subsided and tilted her head up to look at him. Her eyes were red and puffy and her face was stained with the tears of her pain. He watched as the old tear tracks glistened in the light while her new tears made new tracks that eventually fused to become one.

"How 'bout I take you home now?" She nodded slightly and he stood then turned around to help her up. He walked with an arm around her, supporting her as they headed off to the car. Helped her in before climbing in on his side and driving off to the condo they had owned in the lavish upscale building where she now lived. That condo that was now hers.

The drive was eerie quiet. He never said anything, and neither did she, both sat and watched as the raindrops on the windshield rolled down and joined others, much as her tears had done. He didn't know what to say. Nothing he could say could make her feel any better and he didn't want to inadvertently make her feel worse. She didn't feel like saying anything either. In fact she didn't feel anything either. She was just numb.

Elliot pulled the car to a stop and looked over at her. He could tell that she had mentally checked out, which worried him, especially when it came to the baby. He got out and walked over to her side of the car. He searched her pockets for her keys and once he fond them he helped her out of the car and up to her apartment. Once they were inside he removed her coat and led her to her bedroom. He pulled back the corner of the comforter. He helped her sit down on her bed then looked into her stoic eyes as he removed her shoes. He knew from the lack of life in them that Olivia Benson had definitely checked out. Her body may have been there, but she definitely wasn't. He laid her down, then brought the comforter up to cover her shoulders. Once her head hit the pillow her eyes closed and he knew she was gone. He kissed her forehead before quietly walking out of her room, pulling the door closed behind him.

He walked out and admired the nicely decorated apartment and realized that he had never really been there before. He then wondered if the bedroom he had put her in was even hers. She seemed fine with it and he wasn't about to move her. He walked around the apartment admiring the decoration and saw that it was clearly her style. He walked over to the coffee table and picked up a picture frame. It was a Polaroid of Olivia and Nick playing and laughing in the park. He remembered it was at the annual city picnic and he had been the one to take the picture. He looked around the room; it was filled with pictures of both of them. The whole apartment had pictures of them on every wall, and once again he couldn't believe Nick was dead. He had been the one to make her so happy and now he was the one who made her so sad.

He looked down when he realized that his phone was ringing. He looked at the screen; three missed calls. He was pretty sure Olivia's said the same.

"Hey, Cap," He answered.

"Elliot, where the hell are you? You and Olivia disappeared hours ago." Elliot let out a long sigh. "What happened?"

"Nick… died," Not believing the words even as he uttered them.

"Oh, God. How's she taking it?"

"She's… I don't know. She mentally checked out a while ago. She's asleep now." Elliot listened on as the Captain sighed. "Cap, I want to stay here and make sure she's okay."

"Go ahead. I was actually just about to suggest that"

"Thanks. I'll be in tomorrow."

"Alright. And Elliot?"

"Yea Cap?"

"Take care of her"

"I will." With that, both men hung up.

SO you know what to do. Press the button and another should be on the site in no time. :)


	3. Lost

Thanks for all the kind reviews. I love you all. This chapter is kinda short but essential. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

Holy Cross Cemetery

Brooklyn, NY

April 7th

A few days later Fin, Munch, Cragen, and Elliot accompanied Olivia to Nick's funeral. All were dressed in dark drab clothing along with dark sunglasses. Olivia wore a black skirt and black knit top that she had found in the back of her closet, along with her leather jacket and dark sunglasses. She didn't see the point in buying clothes that she was never going to wear, whether it fit or not.

The service was short and sweet, much to Olivia's relief. She wasn't sure if sure if she could handle a long service, physically or emotionally, and was glad that she didn't have to try. Olivia had said something about him, and she was glad that she was able to keep her emotions under control to say what she desperately needed to say. She then said her goodbyes to the man she loved, but sadly would never see again.

After the service Olivia walked up to where the guys stood.

"Hey, thanks for coming, guys," Olivia said softly.

"We wouldn't miss it for the world," Cragen replied before wrapping his arms around her, correctly figuring that she needed a hug. She gratefully accepted the hug burying her face into his shoulder and using every last bit of strength she had left to keep her tears in check.

"Thank you," she whispered after pulling away.

"Any time," Cragen answered.

"Hey, I'm good for hugs, too," Munch said.

"Me too, even though you know I don't go for all that mushy stuff," spoke Fin.

"Please. You know you're just a big softy, just like the Pillsbury Dough Boy," Munch retorted.

"I'll Pillsbury Dough Boy you if you keep messin' up my rep like dat."

A small half-smile managed to grace Olivia's features. "Thanks, guys."

"And you know I'm here for whatever you need day or night."

"I know. Thanks, El."

Nick's mother walked up to them. Rose Daniels had salt and pepper hair pulled back into a nicely tied bun. She wore an elegant black suit, pearl earrings and a pearl necklace. She walked up to Olivia and looked her over with sad red-rimmed green eyes.

"Thank you for speaking at the funeral. What you said was beautiful and I'm sure my son would have loved it."

" I loved your son very much and I just wanted people to know what a great man he was."

"Well, I really appreciated it. I'll see you at the reception hall for refreshments?"

"Actually, I'm feeling kind of tired. I think I'm just going to go home and get some rest."

"Very well. Go home and take care of that grandchild of mine," she said with a smile and placing a hand on Olivia's stomach.

Olivia managed to muster up a fake smile in return. She didn't really like people touching her stomach and invading her personal space. Nick knew that. "I will." Olivia replied, before turning around and walking over to where Elliot now stood. He and the guys had backed off to give her and Rose some privacy. "El, can you give me a ride home? I came in the limo this morning and I think Rose is going to use it."

"Sure, but don't you want to go to the hall?" He asked while rubbing her arms.

"No, I just want to go home and be alone for a little while."

"Ok, lets go."

"Thank you. Bye, guys," she said to Munch, Cragen and Fin. They all waved their goodbyes as Elliot and Olivia disappeared.

Benson Residence

Manhattan, NY

Elliot pulled up to Olivia's apartment and turned off the ignition. He looked over at her. Once again the drive had been quiet but she seemed to still be there today, looking lost. Almost as if she were in another world and was struggling through the haze to return to this one.

"Liv, " he called. She turned to look at him with her sad brown eyes. "We're here," he responded. She nodded and opened the door. Elliot got out and both walked to her apartment in complete silence.

"You going to be okay?" he asked once they arrived at her door.

She opened the door before turning around to face him. "Yea, I'll be fine. Can you tell Cragen that I don't think that I'll be in tomorrow?"

"Of course. If you need me…"

"I know." He kissed her cheek before turning around and heading towards the elevator. Once he had disappeared, she stepped into her apartment and closed the door firmly behind her. She leaned her back against it and slid down to the floor letting the sobs go as she went. She cried until she had nothing left. Only the overwhelming sense of loss.

So since this chapter is so short I was thinking of updating a little quicker. So let me know when you all are ready for the next chapter. :)


	4. Grief

Here's the chapter you wanted. Enjoy!

SVU Squad Room

April 11th

Elliot glanced up once again from his paper work and stared at the empty seat sitting across from him. The seat that should have had his partner in it, telling him to get back to work. The memory snapped him back to reality and he rushed to finish his work so that he could go check on her. It had been two days since he last saw her and he was worried about her. Something just didn't feel right with him and he needed to see her right away. He hadn't heard from her since he had dropped her home after the funeral. He had wanted to stay and help her through her grief he also knew that she needed some time alone.

"Have you heard from her at all today?" Cragen asked walking up to his desk and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"No, haven't spoke to her since the funeral," he replied never looking up from his paper work.

"How do you think she's doing?" Cragen asked trying not to sound too nervous.

"I'm not sure. Sometimes I think that she'll be okay and then when I look at her… suddenly I'm not so sure."

"Maybe you should go check on her."

"I am. I just wanted to finish my paper work first, then I'm gonna head on over there."

"Why don't you head over there now?"

"You sure, Cap?"

"Yes. A lot can happen between now and the time you finish your paper work, and your paper work will still be there tomorrow."

Elliot began packing up his things. "Thanks, Cap," he said before rushing out of the squad room.

The truth was, Elliot couldn't have been more right; something was wrong, terribly wrong. Olivia was sick from grieving over Nick. The more she thought of Nick the more she cried. The more she cried the sicker she got. The sicker she got the more she thought of Nick, helping her through her morning sickness, and thus the cycle continued. She heard a knock at the door and stumbled out to the living room to answer it.

"Elliot," she said surprised.

Elliot stared at her. She was a mess. Her hair was tousled; her eyes were red and puffy. There were fresh tear tracks on her face and her skin was slightly paled. "Liv…What's wrong?"

"I don't know. I…" she never got to finish. She rushed off to the bathroom to throw up again, Elliot rushing behind her. He held her hair back for her to keep it from getting in the way. Once again she remembered Nick holding her hair back for her and more tears came which led to more vomiting which then lead to dry heaves. She stood and washed her face off then bushed her teeth before leaning against the back of the door and sinking down to the floor.

Elliot walked over and knelt in front of her. "Liv, how long have you been like this?" He knew that her morning sickness had been long gone. She had told him that, so this had to be something else. She didn't answer, only leaned her head back against the wall. "Liv," he called. "How. Long. Have. You. Been. Like. This?"

"Hmm…I don't know…Since last night."

"Last night! Liv, why didn't call me?" He quickly checked himself. He knew this wasn't the time to be getting mad at her. He sighed then took a deep breath to calm himself. "Liv, when was the last time you ate something?"

"I don't know. I haven't been able to keep anything down."

"Ok. Ok c'mon." He stood up and then pulled her up to her feet and tried to help her out of the bathroom but she fainted. "Whoa!" he said as he caught her. "Liv, Liv," he called as he light slapped her face and tried to wake her up. She stirred a little and he managed to get her out to the couch and helped her sit down. He rushed into the kitchen to get her a glass of orange juice then rushed back out to her. "Here, Liv, drink this."

"No, I can't keep it down." She said trying to push it away, but the gesture lacked energy.

"Olivia, c'mon sweety, I need you to drink this now. Please. Drink it." He begged her. He knew that it was important to get some kind of fluid into her right away. She took it from him and drank a little bit, barely even emptying the glass. She tried to give it back to him, but he pushed it back towards her.

"No, Liv, I need you to drink some more. Please." She drank more, not quite emptying the glass, but drinking most of it. He took the glass from her and put it on the coffee table when she offered it back. She laid her head back against the couch and closed her eyes. He put his hands on her stomach and waited to feel the baby kick. He knew she didn't like people touching her stomach, but he needed to feel the baby kick. She didn't seem to mind though as he looked up at her. Her head was tilted slightly to the side and she appeared to be sleeping. Finally he felt a small thump in his hand then another and another. Her several more minutes but felt nothing. This wasn't right. He should have felt more kicks by now. "Alright, Olivia, c'mon we got to go. Now."

"Where are we going?" she moaned.

"To the hospital, now come on, let's go," he said standing and taking her hand in his as he tried to pull her up with him.

"Elliot, I'm so... tired," she sighed. "This is the longest I've been able to sit without vomiting. Please, give me five more minutes."

"No, Liv, something's wrong with the baby, we got to go NOW."

Yes. I know. A cliff hanger. You know what to do to end the suspence. Well…Get to it:)


	5. Grief II

Ok. This is the end to all of your suspense. Enjoy!

Benson Residence

May 11th

He pulled her up then helped out to his car. He then sped off into traffic.

"El…" she moaned. "Stop."

"What?" He was so focused on the road that he could barely hear what she was saying to him.

"Pull. Over." She replied a bit more forcefully. He pulled the car over to side and once he stopped she opened the door and expelled what little substance she had ingested within the past few minutes.

"Shit," he muttered to himself. Once she closed the door back he took off once again, driving faster this time. He knew that if something were to happen to her child she would go off the deep end. Elliot didn't know what he would do without her.

By the time he pulled up to the ER he knew she was out of it. She didn't even flinch when he pulled the car to a halting stop. He quickly climbed out and rushed over to her side of the car and scooped her out in his arms and headed off towards the ER. Her arms and legs dangling as he went, and if he didn't know any better he would swear that she was dead. With her paled skin and nearly lifeless body.

"I need some help here!" he called as he entered the ER and was immediately met by a nurse, who then began searching for her pulse on her neck and checking her eyes.

"How far along is she?"

"6 months."

"Alright," she said to him. "I need a gurney out here!" the young nurse called out to no one in particular. When a few other nurses showed up with the gurney, he carefully lay her on it. Once he removed his hands from her they began wheeling her off to a trauma room.

"Do you know her OB/GYN?" The nurse asked as they followed behind the gurney.

"Yea, I think her name is Dr. Martin."

"Good, she's on call today." She ran over to the desk "Page Dr. Martin" she told the people standing at the desk then headed over towards the trauma room. "Sir, you have to stay here. I'll come back and tell you any news we have on her condition." Then she disappeared.

"I need you to fill this out." A lady who had been standing around the administration desk said as she handed him a clipboard. "Do you have her insurance card?"

"No, we were in such a rush to get here I forgot it. I'll be sure to get it to you," he said taking the clipboard from her.

"Not a problem, just be sure to get it to us before we come up with the bill."

"Ok." He sat down in the waiting room and filled out her chart to the best of his abilities, which was basically everything except for her insurance card number. He now officially knew her better than anybody else around her. He handed back the clipboard then sat down and waited.

About an hour later, but what seemed like forever to him a young woman exotic skin and black hair came to stand in front of him. She beautiful green eyes and wore a long lab coat over her foam colored scrubs.

"Are they OK?" He asked before the doctor could speak.

She smiled. "They are both doing fine. Hi, I'm Dr. Martin, Olivia's OB/GYN," she said extending her hand.

He shook it, "Elliot Stabler, Olivia's partner. How's she doing?"

"Well, she was severely dehydrated, so we're giving her some fluids intravenously. We're still running some tests, but I think that's all. Her blood pressure was a little high, but not dangerous."

"Thank God," Elliot said letting out the breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"This is all a surprise to me. I just saw her about a week ago, and everything was okay. I don't understand what could have brought this on."

"You mean you don't know?"

"No, know what?"

Elliot sighed again. "Nick's dead." A look of shock came over the woman's face. "He died last week. Hit and run, and I guess she was taking it harder than I thought."

"In that case I'm going to make sure she has a Psych consult."

"No, I didn't mean it like that."

"It's okay, I know you didn't. Look, being pregnant can be a difficult time for a woman. Her emotions can take quite a toll on her body and on the baby. I feel that it is imperative for them both that she speak with somebody as soon as possible."

He nodded. "Can I see her?"

"I'm having her transferred upstairs to the prenatal department so that she rest more comfortably and they can monitor her and the baby better."

"Do you know how long she'll have to stay here?"

"Well it, all depends on how she's doing. But if she does well, I'd say no more than a couple of days."

"Ok. Can you give me directions to the prenatal department?"

She smiled, "Sure."

He made a stop off at the gift store before heading up to Olivia's room. When he got there he found her sleeping peacefully, her face was so serene and so beautiful. He thought he'd never seen her so at peace. It was as if a serious weight had been lifted off her shoulders for the time being, allowing her to finally get the rest she so desperately needed.

He looked her over and saw something sticking up from underneath the hospital issued gown she was wearing. He deduced that it was some sort of monitoring device for the baby and went over to sit in a chair nearby her bed. He glanced at the machines by her bed and the IV bag that had a line that ran into the back of the hand she had rested on her growing stomach, and suddenly felt himself overwhelmed with fear.

"_I could have lost them,"_ he thought to himself.

He then decided to sit back and wait for her to wake up. He placed the bag of goodies he had bought for her at the gift shop on the floor beside his chair, then sat and waited.

A couple hours later, Elliot looked over from the baseball game he had been watching and saw Olivia begin to stir. He immediately turned his attention towards her and watched as her eyes fluttered open. Panic flashed in her eyes and her eyebrows furrowed together in confusion.

"Liv," Elliot said gently stroking the side of her face. Her head immediately snapped to face him, panic and fear still written on her face. "Hey it's ok, it's ok, you're alright, you're safe."

"Elliot?" she asked in confusion.

"Yea, Liv. It's me."

"Elliot, what am I doing here? What is all this?" She said motioning to the IV in her arm and the monitor on her stomach.

"You mean you don't remember?"

"No… not really. I mean I remember being sick and letting you in, but… Nothing else."

"Liv, you were sick and something was wrong with the baby. I brought you here and they treated you for dehydration and that thing on your stomach, I'm guessing, is a monitor for the baby."

"Oh my God, is he okay?"

He could hear the fear and the tears in her voice as she instinctively placed a hand over her stomach. "Yes Liv, He's fine. Doc should be in soon to check on him." He watched as she visibly relaxed and the tears of relief filled her eyes, but she quickly brushed them away, not wanting him to see them.

She turned to face the game. "So, who's winning?"

"Yanks up by two."

"'Bout time,"

He chuckled. They both sat in silence pretending to watch the game and avoiding the big elephant in the room. "Liv," he called. She turned to look at him. "Why didn't you call me?"

She turned he head back away from him. "I didn't want to bother you."

"Bother me? Liv, I told you to-"

"You were just being nice," she said looking at him.

"Have I ever said anything to you that I didn't mean?" She looked down at the floor. He took a step closer to her and tilted her head up so that she could look into his eyes. "Liv, I'm here for you. No matter what happens I'm always going to be here for you and when I tell you to call me, you call me." She nodded.

"I brought you some goodies. You interested?" he asked pick up the bag he had brought in.

"Not really. But thank you anyway."

"You sure? I got chocolate," he said as he pulled out a box of chocolate bunnies and handed them to her.

"Thank you. I think I'll eat them later." It was killing him seeing her so down. He remembered a time when she would jump him before he had the chance to give her the chocolate. He would have sworn that, in her current state, she would inhale them as he stood there. But she wasn't. She simply held them in her hands and looked down at them.

"The bunnies were all I could get, but it did come with a complementary friend," he said pulling the second gift out of the bag and handing her the soft stuffed white bunny with a pink bow tied around it's neck.

"He's so cute. Thanks, El." She replied a bit more cheerfully.

"I'm glad you like him," he replied sitting back down in his seat, then went back to watching the game when she turned to him.

"How did you know something was wrong with the baby?"

"What?"

"You said that I was sick and something was wrong with the baby, how did you know?"

"I did a kick test."

"A kick test?"

"Yea, you drink something sweet and the baby's supposed to kick, haven't you noticed that?"

"He kicks all the time, kinda hard to know what exactly was causing it. In fact he's kicking right now," she said placing her hand on her stomach. She looked over at him a little nervously. "Wanna feel?"

"Sure."

She reached for his hand then found then placed his hand on the side of her abdomen. "Feel?"

"Yea, and he kicks like this all the time?"

"Yea, Nick used to…"

"Used to what?" he prompted.

"Nothing." She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to think about Nick, or his death. She wanted some peace. Just for now, she wanted some peace.

"Ok," he replied removing his hand. He wasn't going to force her to do anything she didn't feel like doing.

"So about this kick test?"

"Oh yea. You drink something sweet and the baby's supposed to kick a number of times within five minutes. He…didn't kick as many times as he should."

She nodded. "But he's okay right?"

"Yea, the doctors were running tests and should be-" Just as he was saying this, Dr. Martin walked in wheeling in a sonogram machine in with her.

"Hello, Olivia, it's nice to see you up," Dr. Martin said.

"Hello, Dr. Martin, I wasn't expecting to see you so soon."

"I was about to say the same thing. So how are you feeling?"

"Okay."

"That's good. Do you feel like eating something? It's important that you get something of substance in you."

"I'm not exactly hungry, but I'll try to eat something for him."

""That's good, how 'bout some soup."

"Soup's good."

"Alright, any preferences?"

"Anything's fine for now, except clam chowder."

"Alright, let me go talk to the nurse," she said before walking out.

"I thought you liked clam chowder?" Elliot asked.

"I used to. It was the first thing that I threw up the other night."

"Oh."

The doctor walked back in. " Alright, I ran some tests and everything came back as it should, which I'm sure is to your relief, but I still want to do a sonogram to make sure. Is that alright?"

"It's fine with me."

"Liv, do you want me to go?"

"No stay, unless you feel uncomfortable."

"I'll stay."

"'K."

"Alright, lets just get you set up here." The doctor said as she began to pull down some of the blankets they had covering her. Elliot turned around until he heard the doctor speak again. "Alright lets get started."

Elliot turned around to see Olivia's well-rounded and exposed stomach. He was amazed. His partner, Olivia Benson, was pregnant. Yes, she had told him that she was pregnant, and yes, he had heard it. He had watched her tiny waist disappear, yet this still amazed him. He had found hearing it and seeing it were two different things. His feelings confused him, especially after having done this three times before, but he was still amazed. He stood by and watched as the doctor squeezed some gel on her stomach and then maneuver the wand over it. The fast rhythmic heartbeat came over the sound system as the image of the tiny life she carried inside her appeared on the monitor. For the first time throughout this whole ordeal he saw her smile. Really smile. Her pearly whites gleamed as she fixated her gaze on the screen in front of her.

"Everything looks good, Olivia. As far as I can tell he's perfectly healthy," came the encouraging words from her doctor. She then turned off the monitor and began wiping the gel off her stomach.

"Thank you," she replied.

"It's no problem. I have rounds to make, but I'll be by to check on you later," she said as she pulled Olivia's gown back down and covered her back up with the blankets. "It was nice to meet you, Detective." The doctor said before exiting the hospital room.

Once they were left alone Elliot spoke. "You okay?"

She thought for a moment. "Yea, I'm ok."

I hope you all liked that chapter. Let me know when you're ready for the next one.


	6. Memories

Thanks for the reviews. Funny story. At first I thought nobody reviewed so then I was kinda bummed and thought nobody like my story and was gonna stop posting, but then I checked my reviews and saw that I was getting reviews that never went to my e-mail. I have no idea why. But thanx for doing so. SO here's the next chapter. Hope you like it.

Benson Residence

May 14th

A few days later Elliot once again knocked on Olivia's door. After a few moments she opened the door and he found her in a pair of sweats and a large T-shirt.

"Elliot, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"Nothing. Just wanted to come and see you," He said as he stepped through the door and began removing his jacket.

She chuckled as she shook her head and closed the door behind her. "You came to check up on me," she sated firmly.

"No, just thought you could use some company."

"You came to check up on me," she reaffirmed.

"Yes, but Cragen made me."

"Sure he did," she finished sarcastically as she walked into the dinning room and sat around the table that was covered in papers.

"You mind if I stay awhile?"

"Sure, Make yourself at home. There's food and drinks in the fridge help yourself."

"Thank you, but I'm fine. This TV is great." He replied as he flipped on her big screen TV.

"I'm pretty sure it's every man's dream. Flip through the channels. Nick had like five different ESPN's and a whole bunch of other sports channels, and if you don't feel like watching sports there's plenty of movie channels too."

"Wow this really is every man's dream."

"Nope, there's no porn," she replied with a grin.

"I guess everything can't be perfect."

About an hour later Elliot heard Olivia sigh loudly. He stood and maneuvered around the apartment trying to find where she was. He really hadn't realized how large her place was. Finally he found her sitting in the dinning room around the large wooden table covered in papers, rubbing her temples.

"Liv, you okay?"

"I'm fine…It's just…nothing."

"No, no. Tell me," he said walking over and taking a seat beside her. "I'm here for you."

"It's these papers. I've been filling out these forms since this morning and it's like it never finishes. The more I fill out, the more I have."

He looked over at the table. There were a lot of papers. "Liv, what are all these for?"

"Take your pick. There are some about the condo. Some about his car. Some about money he left for the baby and me. Some more about trusts he set up for the baby. And there are a lot more that I haven't even looked at, so I have no idea what they are.

"Well how 'bout I help you."

"Please?"

"Sure."

They sat down and filled out papers for another hour before they were finally finished and by that time they were Elliot had a headache. They decided to relax for a while and headed over to the couch.

"So, Nick left a will for you and the baby before he died?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah."

"Wasn't he kind of young to be doing that?"

"I thought the same thing, but he explained that when his parents got divorced his mother never got anything. Apparently his father had everything in his name and a really good lawyer. He was supposed to pay child support but somehow managed to skip out on that, so Nick and his mother lived in near-poverty for the better part of his life. Around the time he finished grad school, his father died. I guess the bastard felt guilty 'cause he left Nick everything."

"So he was filthy stinking rich."

"Yea," she answered quietly. He hurt to be talking about her fiancé in the past tense when not too long ago that he was sitting beside her, loving her, and comforting her.

"What did he do with all the money?"

"Well, first he paid off all his student loans. Nick graduate degree was in architecture so he took over his father's architectural firm. Now his mother is running the company and he left everything else to me and the baby."

"Wow," was all Elliot could get out.

"Yup. It still amazes me that he even set up a trust for the baby, so college is all paid for with a enough left for him to live in lap of luxury."

"What are you going to do with all the money?"

"I have no clue, there's just so much that he left behind. I plan on turning in his car and mine to get a family car for the baby and me. Otherwise, I really don't know. I don't think I'll use it unless absolutely necessary. I don't want to raise this child as a rich spoiled brat, so I think I'm just going to invest or have it sit in the bank and collect interest. I'm thinking about giving some to charity, but I want to have some in case anything happens and I need it."

" I completely understand, it's good to have something to fall back on in case anything happens. When did he update the will?"

A wistful smile came over her face. "He did it after I told him I was pregnant. Said he didn't want his kid to grow up the way he did. Nick told me that he wanted the baby to grow up with every opportunity in the world he could possibly have. After what his father did to him and his mother, he was determined to never find himself or have anybody he loved in that kind of situation again. He always planned for the future, no matter how distant it was, he always planned for it."

"Sounds like he really wanted to be a father."

"He did. He really did," she replied softly.

Elliot saw the tears well up in her eyes but he continued to push her. He knew that talking about Nick would help with the healing process. "I remember when you were afraid to tell him," He said with a grin.

She smiled. "Yea. You told me it would be okay and it was." She chuckled. "The night I told him he was so happy. He never stopped smiling and touching my stomach the entire night. The next night he came home with flowers, ice cream, and a bag of diapers. I still have them, but I doubt the baby will be able to fit in them for at least four months." They both laughed at that.

"Well he better have been happy about it or else I would have had to personally had to kick his ass."

"What is it with you and always wanting to kick his ass? Did you not like him or something?"

"No, I liked him. He was good to you, so I liked him. But he was one smug, cocky son-of a-bitch."

"I'll give you the smug part, but he was never like that at He was only cocky in front of you because you would always get so pissed about it. We'd go home and laugh about it."

"Nice, Liv. Nice."

She smiled. "Anyway, that was night he proposed. When I took the lid off of the ice cream container, my engagement ring was right there in the middle." Elliot noted that she still wore the obviously expensive diamond ring. "He told me he wanted his kid to grow up in a family." She let another tear slide, "Now I guess he'll only have me," she said as the tears poured from her eyes. She quickly wiped them away.

"No, Liv, He'll have me too. I promise that I'll always be here for both of you. And you know the whole squad is here to help and support you. You can call me for anything any time of day, and I mean it. I won't let you do this alone."

She nodded as he hugged her. "Ok?"

"Yea," she nodded back.

"So, tell me why you were so afraid to tell him. I remember you were a nervous wreck that day."

"We had never discussed having kids. As close as we were, we always managed to refrain from that conversation. I knew he liked kids, he knew I liked kids. I guess… I guess in our own way we implied it, but not until further in the future. So when I found out I was pregnant, I was nervous about what his reaction would be. But deep down I knew that he would be happy."

"I'm glad, for his sake, that he was."

She chuckled. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For being you. For making me smile and laugh again. I needed it."

"I know you did."

"I also know that I can count on you for anything and I'm very grateful for that. I know that I thanked you before for bringing me to the hospital, but…"

"Hey, no need. I'd do it again in a heartbeat, no questions asked."

She smiled. "I know, but thanks anyway," she said before leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"You're welcome," replied he said trying to cover the blush, but she saw it anyway. There wasn't much he could hide form her and he knew it.

"Now, hand me that remote so I can find something besides baseball to watch."

"Be my guest," He replied passing her the remote. He figured she had talked enough for one night and was satisfied that she would be ok. He watched as she flipped through the channels and finally settled upon the movie Liar, Liar. "Great choice."

"Gotta love Jim Carey."

"That is true. Loved him in Ace Ventura"

"The second one was funnier, but Me, Myself and Irene was better."

"By far."

They settled into their own comfortable position. His arm wrapped around her shoulders and her head rested on his. In no time, Elliot could hear her soft even-toned breathing and knew that she was asleep. He flipped off the TV, slowly got up. He gently laid her back against the cushions of her comfortable sofa and brought her legs up onto the couch. He searched her place for a good five minutes before finally locating a decent comforter for her. He covered her with it, then placed a feather light kiss on her forehead before leaving, using his spare key to lock the door.

He had had to turn his apartment upside-down to locate the small set of keys she had given him. He had remembered tossing it somewhere but couldn't remember where . He had figured he would never need it, but after the whole hospital incident he knew he needed to have it with him at all times. It was now a permanent part of his key chain, and he never wanted to be caught without it again.

As he drove home he reflected on everything she had told him. Nick really was a great man. He was good to her, always, and he knew that. He had figured that Nick was her perfect match. But as he drove back home, Elliot figured that maybe he was wrong. Spending time with her had made him feel good. Hearing her tell her memories of the man she loved stirred something inside of him. He wasn't sure what it was exactly, but he knew that it was definitely something he wanted to pursue, but only with time. He still was a little shaken up over his divorce with Kathy and had just started dating again. He also knew that Olivia would still need time, both of them did. Because time healed all wounds.

SVU Squad Room

May 15th

The next morning when Elliot, Munch, and Fin walked into the squad room they were surprised to see Olivia sitting at her desk, working on some paperwork. They had just come back from Krispy Kreme Donuts down the street and were carrying a box of donuts, along with a tray of coffee.

"Olivia. What are you doing here?" Elliot asked.

"What do mean what am I doing here? I work here, remember? I take a few days off and suddenly I've been replaced or something," she said mock seriously.

"No. No. I didn't mean it like that. I ju-"

"Well, I missed her. I need something better to look at rather than y'alls ugly mugs," said Fin.

"Yea I missed you too, Livia," said Munch. "And it's not like you're so hot yourself there, Fin."

"But I'm damn sure I look betta than you," Fin shot back.

"I missed you guys bickering like that," Olivia said softly.

"We missed your smile," Fin replied.

"Liv, I didn't mean I didn't want you back here. I was just wondering what you were doing back here so soon."

"Elliot, relax I was only kidding. I needed to work. Cap is being a little over protective now and I'm currently assigned to ass duty till I go on maternity leave but it beats sitting at home alone."

"Well, in that case, I'm really glad that you're back."

"Thanks. And thanks for last night too, I really needed it."

"Anytime Liv. Anytime."

OK. So some of you probably didn't like that chapter and want more. You know what to do about that, but also I told you that this story moves slow, and every chapter is essential, by the end of it you'll probably say no to that assessment, and you'll know why when we get there. Anyways don't get discouraged the story will eventually get to a point where you all want it to be, so be patient with me. Thank you. :)


	7. Preparations

Thank you everyone for your kind reviews. Now on with the show!

Benson Residence

June 20th

Olivia opened her door to reveal Fin, Munch and Elliot standing on the other side of her door. Fin held a toolbox in his hand and Elliot had a tool belt hanging over his shoulder, looking ever-so sexy in his tight navy muscle shirt and jeans.

"So, you used Munch and Fin as your latest excuse to come over here," Olivia stated as she stepped back to let them all in.

Elliot had found one excuse or another to visit her ever since she had gone on maternity leave. She appreciated the gesture, but didn't understand why he felt he needed one.

"Noooo. We came to set up the baby's room," Elliot defended. He looked her over in her large T-shirt and pajama bottoms and could tell that she had grown.

"And you brought Munch?" Olivia countered.

"Hey, I resent that," Munch replied.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Look, guys, you really don't need to do this. I appreciate it, believe me I do, but I'm pretty sure you all have better things to do."

"Well, I guess its lucky for you that Munch here has no life, and I am available for this very special occasion," Fin stated.

"Yea, but I still don't understand why you brought Munch."

"Hey, I can work," Munch protested.

"Besides, if we don't do it, then who will?" Elliot asked.

"I will."

"Chyeah! Right," Fin snorted.

"And what are you trying to say Fin? I can't set my kid's room up because I'm a woman?"

"No. I'm just saying I can do it better."

This had Olivia laughing. "Whatever, Fin. It's the second room down that hall and to the right. The bathroom's right across the hall if you need it."

"Thank you," Fin replied as he and Munch headed that way.

"Do guys want something to drink?"

"Sure, what you got?" asked Munch.

"Soda, juice, water, beer. Take your pick."

"Beer's good," Fin said.

"Yeah, for me too," Munch replied.

"I'll take one, too. Let me help you." Elliot and Olivia headed for the kitchen while Fin and Munch headed for the baby's room.

"You drink?" Elliot asked as he and Olivia came into the kitchen.

"No, it was Nick's. I've been looking for a way to get rid of it without wasting it. Thanks for trusting me though," she said sarcastically as she reached into the fridge and pulled out the three beers.

"Olivia, I'm sorry. I just thought." He sighed. "I'm sorry."

She nodded. "Is that why you've been coming to check on me lately, afraid I might put my baby in danger?"

"No, I came to make sure you were okay, and to keep you company."

"Then why the excuses? 'I thought I left something here.' Or 'I think you might have a file that I need.' Did you just say that so that you'd have an excuse to check up on me?"

Now this Elliot had a problem answering. No, he wasn't checking up on her per se. He just wanted to be near her, and felt that it was kind of odd for him to feel so. He couldn't tell her that he wanted to be around her because he had feelings for her. Finally he found the words.

"No, Liv, I didn't come over to check up on you. I just wanted to spend some time with you and keep you company. I swear."

She nodded.

"I noticed that you took his pictures down." He realized they were missing when he had stepped into her condo. A picture of her and Nick together that was normally visible as soon as you stepped into her place, now it was gone.

"Yea, I put them away. I couldn't look at them without crying, and I didn't want to go back to the place I was in. I'm, almost done with organizing and getting rid of his things. I just have his office left to clean out. His mother wants his desk for her office at the company I want to turn that room into a guest room, but I still haven't brought myself to clean it out yet."

"I can help you."

"No, that's ok, I can handle it. Setting up the baby's room is enough, but I appreciate the offer."

"No, really. Fin and Munch can do the baby's room and I can help you with Nick's desk. I know it's gonna be hard for you to go through his old things."

"It is."

"Alright then, it's settled. Let me go give Fin and Much their drinks, then you and I can go and clean out his things."

She nodded and waited for him to go. A few minutes later he returned and they both headed down the hall towards Nick's old office. As they neared the corner Elliot noticed Olivia's hesitance and stopped to reach for her hand. She gave it to him and they both headed for the room. He opened the door and stepped into the man's office. It was as if time had stood still in the single room. Everything still lay in place as if they had recently been used and simply put down for a moment. The carpeted room had two desks, a larger more formal one that he assumed was the one Rose wanted. It butted up to the same wall as the door. It was covered with scattered files, pens and Post-its. The other desk was towards the back of the room and held Nick's blueprints and pencils.

"This is his office?" Elliot asked.

"Yep."

"Kind of empty, don't you think?"

"He never got to finish decorating it to his taste. He was always busy with work or me or preparing for the baby. I guess he just never got to it."

He nodded. "How bout I take the front desk and you take the back. We can switch in a few hours, if you'd like."

"Ok."

He went to his task while she went to hers.

"This chair sure is comfortable," he said as he sat in the plush leather chair and spun in it to face her.

"Yea, but it goes with the desk, so don't get used to it. Get to work."

"Yes, Mom," he teased and he heard her chuckle.

He turned back and scanned over the desk and decided to start with the files. As he perused the files, he found that they were related to Nick's firm and stacked them into a pile for Rose. He looked over at the Post-it notes. There were various messages Nick had left for himself; pick up flowers for Olivia, get her favorite movie on the way home, all of the things he still needed to do to get ready for the new baby. He stacked them neatly and put them off to the side when he heard Olivia gasp.

"Liv?" he asked. "You ok?" He turned around and saw her with her hand covering her mouth as she looked down at the blueprints. He stood and walked over to her. "Liv?" He looked down at the paper. "What are they for?"

She sniffed and brushed away a lone tear. "The baby's room," she answered softly.

He nodded. "Hey, why don't you come over and help me for now? It's mostly filing, your favorite."

She chuckled. "Ok. " He took her hand and led her to sit down in the comfortable chair.

"I thought you might want to keep these," he said as he handed post- it notes to her.

She flipped through them then looked up at him. "Thank you," she said.

"You're welcome." He looked over at the calendar and noticed the things written in the dates. "What's this?" he asked pointing to it.

She looked at it and a big smile came on her face. "It was Nick's baby calendar."

"What?"

"He wrote down every milestone in my pregnancy. Sonograms, the day we found out the sex, when the baby's due. He wrote down all of my appointments and anything else he could think of."

"Want to keep it?"

"I think I'm gonna put it away," she said taking it off the wall. She stuck the Post-it notes on top of it and put it off to the side.

He nodded, understanding what she was feeling. He walked back over to the other desk and got to work packing up the things there. He went and got some old boxes Olivia had and together they packed up and put away everything.

"So are you sending both desks or just the one?"

"Just the one."

"Ok. Hey, I thought Nick was an architect."

"He was."

"Then why was he designing the baby's room?"

She chuckled. "Nick took an Interior Design course when he was in grad school. It was always something he wanted to keep secret. In fact, most of the furniture we have, he picked out. Of course I had the final word. He never really got the whole color scheme thing."

Elliot chuckled. "I wish he was here so that I could tease him about this."

"Me too," she answered quietly.

"What's in the room next to this one?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"The work out room. Nothing fancy, just a treadmill and a few dumbbells and a weight machine.

"Nothing fancy? Liv you've been living the high life too long. Can I go take a look?"

"Sure." They headed into the weight room. It was carpeted, much like the other one and fully stocked with the equipment she had said was there. "Wow Liv, this is some nice stuff," he said eyeing the weight machine.

"Thanks, although lately the room has just been something we looked at rather than used," she chuckled.

"Still nice."

"Thanks, Nick set it up."

They stood in an awkward silence until they could both hear Munch and Fin bickering. "I guess I should go help them." She nodded. "You okay?"

"Yea. I'm fine."

"Alright. Everything's going to be fine. I promise." he said before leaving the room.

Olivia knew she had to call Rose and let her know that Nick's desk and business papers were ready to be picked up. As she left the room, she turned to look around the room before closing the door. "I think you're right," she said to herself.

Thanks to all who have been reading. You know what to do for the next chapter. :)


	8. The New Arival

OK. Sorry for the mix up. Hope you all aren't too mad at me. :(

SVU Squad Room

July 8th

At around four that afternoon Elliot stood by his desk looking over the papers he had just been faxed. Things had been relatively quite since Olivia had gone on maternity leave and he found himself with more free time than ever. The case they had been working on seemed open and shut, that is until he received some papers on their alleged victim. Now it was something he and Munch would have to look into. He had been alternating between Fin and Munch a lot, while working the occasional case by himself and he was starting to get used to it, but he still missed his partner. His cell phone rang and he answered it without prying his eyes away from the papers in his hand.

"Stabler," he answered.

Cragen who had just stepped out of his office watched as Elliot's relatively calm face turned to one of concern.

"Ok. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"What's up?" Cragen asked as soon as Elliot clipped off the phone.

"It's Liv."

"She ok?" Cragen asked, concern quickly growing within him as his mind and heart began to race.

"She's in labor, and I want to go bu-"

"Go."

"I just got these papers and-"

"Go. Fin just wrapped up the Colfax case, I'll have him work with Munch."

"Thanks, Cap." He said as he handed him the papers. He grabbed his keys off his desk and ran towards the elevator.

"Elliot! What hospital?" Cragen called as Elliot ran down the hall.

"Mercy!" Elliot called stepping onto the elevator.

"Tell her we'll be there as soon as we can." Cragen called back just as the doors closed. He headed back to the Squad Room to wrap up the case so that they could all go and meet the newest member of their family.

Mercy General

Manhattan, NY

Elliot ran up to the desk of the maternity ward, slightly out of breath. He had taken the stairs, and ran up the entire four flights in hopes of getting there quicker. His car was parked hap-hazardly outside of the ER. He knew it would eventually be towed because of it's location, but he didn't care. All he wanted was to get to Olivia

"I'm looking for Olivia Benson," he panted out to one of the nurses standing at the nurse's station. He swallowed hard as he tried to catch his breath and waited for one of the nurse to respond.

"She's in delivery." One of them answered.

"Shit!" he muttered to himself, but rather loudly.

"Are you the father?"

"Ummm…Yea," he lied.

"Alright come on," the nurse said as she walked around the counter. "Follow me."

He followed her over to a rack stacked with scrubs. She tossed him a couple and he stared at her a bit confused. "What are you waiting for? Put them on and come on. I think you can still make it." He quickly fumbled into the scrubs almost falling over as he pulled up the last pant leg, but quickly got into them and rushed to catch up with the nurse. He found her waiting for him, standing outside of a closed room door. "She's in there. Good luck!" and just like that she disappeared.

Elliot took a deep breath before turning the handle on the door and stepping into the room. He was amazed with the sight he saw before him. Nurses crowded around the end of the bed, their main focus on Olivia who was hunched in the middle of pushing. He saw the strength and determination on her face as the doctor who had her hands in between her legs, coached her on while the nurse who stood beside her counted down in her ear. He watched as she sat back and began panting as one of nurses used a cloth to wipe the sweat off her brow. She rolled her head to the side and saw him standing frozen in the doorway.

"Elliot?" she said a bit in shock that he had come.

Finally his senses returned to him and he closed the door before crossing the room to stand at her side. "Sorry I'm late."

"What are you doing here?" She couldn't believe he had actually come even though she did want him there.

"Let's talk about this later and focus and getting this little guy out." He held out his hand, palm up, and she took it with a grateful smile on her face.

As if right on cue the doctor spoke up. "Ok Olivia, I need one big push so that we can get the head out."

Olivia nodded and squeezed Elliot's hand as she pushed. "AHHH!" she ground out.

"Okay Olivia. Stop." Dr. Martin said to her, before demanding the necessary tools she needed from the nurses.

Olivia rolled her head to face Elliot. "Tired." She panted out.

"I know, but your almost there. His head is out, all you need is the rest and it will all be over."

She nodded. "I want it over with NOW!"

He chuckled. "Don't worry I promise it will be soon."

"Alright Olivia, just a few more pushes and he'll be here." Dr. Martin said as she smiled behind her mask. She nodded and once again squeezed Elliot's hand as she began pushing.

"Mmmmmmmm" she moaned.

"That's it Liv," Elliot coached. She could feel the shoulders sliding out and then more and more of the body.

"'Kay Olivia big push and he'll be here," Dr. Martin said.

Olivia gathered every last bit of strength she had left and focused it into the force of the push. "GAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" she groaned out before she was met with the satisfying cries of her new born son.

"Congratulations!" Dr. Martin said as she held the wailing baby up for Olivia to see. She placed him on Olivia's chest and the nurses got to work with cleaning him off while she clamped the proper sections of the umbilical cord. "Would you like to cut the cord?" she asked Elliot who was staring in amazement at the new life that had just been brought into the world.

He looked towards Olivia who nodded with tears in her eyes. "Yea," he answered, his throat full of emotion. The doctor handed him the scissors and with shaky hands he cut the cord.

Olivia watched and thought it endearing that he felt nervous cutting the cord of her son.

"Okay, were just going to take him for a moment to get him checked out," Dr. Martin said as one of the nurses reached over Olivia and carefully scooped up the still fussy and shivering baby.

"He okay?" Olivia asked with concern while she watched with longing as the nurse walked away with her baby.

"Yea, just want to get him properly cleaned up and wrapped up for you."

"Go with him." Olivia said to Elliot, and he nodded before heading over to where they were carefully wrapping the squalling infant.

"Alright Olivia, one more push for the placenta." Olivia nodded and complied. A few moments later the placenta was out and Dr. Martin was inspecting it. "Looks good Olivia."

She nodded as Elliot walked back over. "How is he?"

A broad smile covered his face. "He's beautiful, Liv absolutely perfect."

She nodded and smiled when the nurse placed her son back in her arms. Wrapped tightly in a pale blue blanket that matched the tiny hat that covered his dark brown hair. "You're right, he is perfect," she said as the tiny baby finally settled down, finding himself safe and content in his mother's arms.

She found herself mesmerized by him as she starred into his tiny blue eyes. "Hey you." She spoke softly to him. She took her time and memorized his every feature and quickly came to the conclusion that the only thing he had inherited from his father was his tiny blue eyes. The thought of Nick, and fact that he wasn't there to enjoy the birth of his son brought tears to her eyes, which quickly spilled over her eyelids to flow down her cheeks.

"I know he wishes he could be here," Elliot whispered into her ear before kissing her temple. She looked up at him and smiled softly. He tucked the small wisps of hair that clung to her forehead behind her ear before kissing her forehead.

"We have to take him now, but I promise he'll be back soon." Dr. Martin said, before leaning over and taking the baby. Olivia kissed his cheek before handing him over. "We'd just like to do the final check up and weigh in all together. I'm going to take him to his pediatrician, who is waiting for him and I'll have him back to you as soon as possible. In the mean time the nurses are going to help you get cleaned up a bit and take down his name so we can have a bracelet made for him."

"Okay. Bye." She waved to her son as the doctor left with the tiny baby cradled in her arms.

"I'm gonna go let the guys know what's going on and I'll be back once you're ready."

"Alright."

They hugged before he stepped out of her room to give her some privacy.

'Wow' he said to himself. He couldn't believe Olivia was somebody's mother now. He knew she would be a great one no doubt, but she always seemed to surprise him everyday. Every time he finally thought he had her pegged out she did something new to amaze him. He clipped his cell phone off his waist and began to head down the hall as he dialed the numbers to the station, to let them know about their new arrival. The new life that had just become apart of their world.

Thanks to nicky'sbaby for alerting me to the problem(Hope I spelled your name right;))


	9. New Life

Here's the chapter I promised. I was supposed to post this yesterday, but when I got home I just cashed at like 9:30. Can't remember the last time I did that. So here's your chapter. I hope you like it.

Mercy General

July 8th

Elliot knocked on the door to Olivia's new hospital room and, _upon_ her answer, stepped in carrying a pale blue teddy bear that read'It's A Boy!' and a bouquet of roses. She glanced away from her newborn son when she saw Elliot and smiled up at him. He smiled back. He didn't think he had ever seen her happier. She was sitting up in bed and cradling her son close to her. He walked over and handed her the bouquet of roses.

"For you." Then he held the little bear in front of the baby, "And for you."

"Thank You," She replied then kissed his cheek. "Can you put them over there?" she asked motioning towards the empty side table beside her.

"Sure."

"And you can put the bear in his bassinet."

"Alright," he said heading over to the plastic cart by her bed.

"Say thank you to Elliot for your very first gift and teddy bear." She said to the baby.

Elliot chuckled. "Your very welcome buddy." He walked over to the side of her bed to gaze over at the small child.

Olivia glanced up at him and smiled when she saw the yearning in his eyes. "Want to hold him?"

"Yea," he answered almost shyly.

"Are your hands clean?"

"They will be." He walked over to think and quickly washed and dried his hands before walking back over to her. She kissed his forehead then carefully placed the sleeping baby into Elliot's arms. Elliot starred down at him and cradled him lovingly in his arms.

"Isn't he tiny?"

"Yea. I remember when my kids were this small," he replied without removing his eyes from the sleeping baby.

"How much does he weigh?"

"Seven pounds six ounces and twenty-one inches long."

"Good size."

"Yea. Why don't you have a seat?"

"Oh yea," he chuckled. He looked behind him and found a seat then sat down. "What's his name?"

"Nicolas Daniel Benson. Do you think it's wrong for me to not give him his father's name? I just wanted us to have the same last name, but I pretty sure Rose is going to be upset with him not having the family name."

"He's your son Liv. She has no say over what you name him."

"I know, but I don't want to dishonor Nick by not giving his son his name."

"You did your best. He has his first name and you used his last name for a middle name. That's good enough. And I also think it's a good idea that you two have the same last name."

She nodded. "Speaking of which I have to call her, let her know that her grandson is here."

"How come you didn't call her when you went in?"

"Oh I don't know," Olivia shrugged. "Maybe it was the fact that I was focusing on pushing a seven pound baby out of my body."

He chuckled. "So how did you find labor? Was it fun?" he teased.

"Shut up. You know it hurt like a son of a bitch from the way I saw you wincing when I squeezed your hand."

"Was not."

"Was too. Looks like little Nicky there is going to have to be an only child, because I don't think I want to do that again, and have no plans of doing so."

"Oh, come on, Liv. "

"Alright next time you push something the size of a watermelon through something the size of a lemon. Call me and we'll talk about it."

He chuckled. "Alright Liv, you've got a deal. So Nicky huh?"

"Yea, I think I'm going to call him that."

He glanced down at the sleeping child in his arms. "Nicky… I like that. I think it suits him."

"Me too."

"Hi Nicky." Elliot said to the baby. Nicky opened one of his blue eyes to peer at him before closing it back. "You playing peek- a –boo with me?" There was no response that time.

"What is he up too?"

"Nothing, he's just sleeping now."

"So where are the guys?" She asked stifling a yawn.

"Oh, right before you called there was a major twist in our open and shut case, so now their scrambling around trying to solve it so that they can come and meet this little guy."

"Boy, I miss that. I prefer it to sitting at home alone."

"Well now you have company and don't worry he'll be sure to keep you busy."

"Don't jinx me."

"Hey, don't jinx yourself. I'm not the one talking about being bored at home."

"Whatever." She laid back and settled herself more comfortably into her pillows.

"So how long have you been here?"

"Since around two this morning."

"Ten hours. Pretty lucky."

"I would have been even luckier if it had been two."

He smiled. "Hey Kathy ended up with 24 on Kathleen so count your blessings."

"She must have been maaad at you."

"She kicked me out. Twice."

She laughed. " Who knows I probably would have done the same if Nick was here."

Elliot watched the sadness drift over her face at the mention of his name, and decided to steer the conversation in a different direction. "So how did you get here?"

"Cab."

"At two in the morning?"

"Actually it was like quarter to. No big deal El."

"How come you didn't call me?"

She knew this question would eventually come. "At first I thought I wanted to do it alone, but as the hours drifted on, and I got closer and closer, I realized… I didn't. I realized I wanted to share his birth with somebody and the first person that came to mind was you."

He felt his heart swell with pride at being the one she thought of first. "Well I'm glad, because I wouldn't have wanted to miss this for the world." She smiled softly then yawned and he watched as her eyes began to droop. "Get some sleep Liv. I know that you're exhausted. I'll wake you up when the guys come."

"'Kay. Are you still going to hold him?"

"Yea, if it's okay with you."

"Its ok. Just wake me if they come to take him for anything."

"I will."

She nodded before allowing her eyes to drift close. In no time he heard her small shallow breathing, _and_ then looked back down at her son. With his dark brown hair and blue eyes, he looked as if he could be his son with Olivia instead of hers with Nick; and secretly he wished he was. He already loved him, he loved him from the time he cut his umbilical cord and even more so from the first moment Olivia placed him in his arms. _One day._ He thought. One day, this new life she had brought into the world would be apart of _their_ new life, but he wouldn't rush it. They already meant too much to him for that. He sat back and starred at Nicky, who slept peacefully in his arms. The baby shifted a bit and grunted, while stretching his tiny scraggly arms, before settling back down, content to be in Elliot's arms.

"I love you too, buddy."

Thanks to all those who responded. I'll get to you're reviews as soon as my computer starts liking yahoo again. Should be any minute now. Thanks again. :)


	10. Visit

So you guys seem to like fluff so here's dome of it. Hope you like it.

Benson Residence

August 2nd

It had been three weeks since Elliot had dropped Olivia home from the hospital, and three weeks since he had last seen her. He tried to keep in contact with her, but work had been incredibly hectic, which kept him incredibly busy. He had barley even found time to spend with his kids. He had thought about dropping by to see her and Nicky during his breaks, but figured she needed the time to bond with her son, and his breaks always tended to be short lived.

Today was one of the only days he had off and he decided to visit Olivia since he had some time before his lunch date, but he was meeting them for dinner later. He didn't seem to understand why he was dating when he already had feelings for another woman, but he also had to do something to keep his mind off of Olivia since he couldn't really have her right now.

He knocked on the door and was answered with the muffled sounds of Nicky's fussing. The door swung open and he saw Olivia standing there in black tights and a large gray sweatshirt that hung of her shoulder. She cradled Nicky to her other shoulder, who was dressed in a baby blue onesie and still fussing, and gently bounced him in order to keep him quiet. His eyes trailed up to her face and he looked into her tired bloodshot eyes, but there was also something else there. Anger.

"I'm going to kill you," she growled before tugging on his t-shirt and pulling him inside and closing the door

"Why? What did I do?" he asked as walked over into the kitchen to wash his hands.

"You woke him up," she replied as if it were obvious.

"What? By knocking?" He asked, taking Nicky from her and cradling him against his shoulder. He rocked him slowly, which immediately caused the baby to settle down.

"Yes. He's about the world's lightest sleeper ever. He woke up like five times last night."

"Five?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yes. Once for feeding, once for changing, another for the car alarm, and twice for the sirens. At that point I just decided to go for a jog and five minutes into the run, of course he falls back to sleep."

"Wow."

"Yea," she sighed and ran her fingers through her silky chestnut locks of hair.

One glance at her and he could tell that she was exhausted. "Hey Liv, let's go into the living room."

"'K."

Elliot walked in to find the entire couch covered in Nicky's laundry. He moved over a few articles of clothing to make space for both himself and Olivia. He sat down and shifted Nicky so that he could lay in his arms and still see his mother. She sat down next to Elliot and rested her head against the back of the couch.

"Sorry about the mess."

"No problem."

"I was trying to catch up on some chores while he was sleeping, but then you knocked."

"Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault you didn't know."

"I would have if I called you every once in awhile."

"Hey, I work SVU too. I know what it's like."

He nodded. "You look exhausted."

She sighed. "I am. I'm not getting much sleep with his sleeping schedule. I'm calling a contractor on Monday to see about sound proofing his room, 'cause this is just ridiculous, but I have to admit he is getting better at it," she said turning to look at her son in Elliot's arms. She smiled at him and used her hand to brush back his hair.

"He's gotten so big since I last saw him."

"Yeah." She smiled as she continued to look into her son's blue eyes, but her eyes began to droop.

"He even looks more like you."

"Yea. But I'm glad he still has his father's eyes. I hope they don't change."

"I don't think they will."

"Ummm hmmmm." She hummed.

"So what else are you up to today?" At her lack of response he called her again. "Liv?" When she didn't respond again he glanced over at her and found that she was asleep. He glanced down at the baby resting comfortably in his arms. "Do you see what you did to your mother?" Nicky simply starred back at him with innocent blue eyes. Elliot sighed and placed Nicky in a nearby bassinet before standing and scooping Olivia up in his arms. He carried her into her room and laid her gently on her bed. He smiled when he saw the bunny he had bought her months before. He walked out and closed the door behind him, not wanting anything to wake her up. He walked back out into the living room and stood over the bassinette. "Well Nicky, looks like it's just you and me."

Benson Residence

A few hours later Olivia's eyes opened and she sleepily glanced over at the clock. 5:30. She closed her eyes again and tried to remember what happened and how she had gotten into her room. She thought and remembered Elliot holding Nicky. "Oh my God Nicky!" she said out loud as her eyes popped open. She got up off the bed and raced out into the living room to find it empty. Her heart began to pound and she ran her fingers back through her hair and desperately tried to figure out where her son could be. She heard a small sound come from Nicky's room. She headed there and stopped to lean against the doorframe as she watched Elliot with her son. She watched on as Elliot played with and talked to Nicky as he snapped up his clean yellow onesie. Nicky simply starred back with interest.

"You know, you're really good with him, I even think he likes you."

"Well I should be. I mean I do have four kids of my own. But wait- why wouldn't he like me?" Elliot asked as he lifted Nicky to his shoulder.

She walked over and ran her hand over Nicky's soft and silky hair. "Because he's a mamma's boy. Aren't you baby," She said as she kissed Nicky's cheek.

"Yea, yea, yea. So was your nap?"

"Great and very much needed. Thank You."

"No problem."

"So how was he?"

"He was good. Didn't give me any trouble. I was surprised he wasn't hungry or anything."

"I fed him about 20 minutes before you came over, so he should be wanting to eat soon. Did he sleep?"

"Yea, for a couple hours. I see what you mean about that light-sleeping thing. He woke up when a helicopter flew by."

"Yup. But I'm glad that he slept for the amount of time he did."

"Hey you might be able to sneak in a shower before you have to feed him and I've got about an hour and a half before I have to meet my kids for dinner."

"Okay. I'll try to be quick." She disappeared and he went to sit out on the couch.

About a half an hour later Olivia walked out into the living room dressed in a blue terry cloth robe and her hair wet. She sat down beside him and Elliot suddenly found himself lost in the scent of her body wash. Lavender. Nicky must have smelt it too because once she was settled he immediately began to fuss.

"Here he must be hungry," she said reaching for him. Elliot carefully passed him over, mindful of his head. "Do you mind?" she asked, as she was about to shift the side of her robe.

"No. No, go ahead."

She nodded and adjusted her robe and leaned over to help Nicky latch on. "Thank you again for staying. I really needed the sleep."

"And like I've said about a million times before, it was no problem."

"I hope I didn't ruin any of your plans for today."

"You didn't," he lied as he remembered the date. He had forgotten to call and cancel on her.

"So you call that a quick shower?" he teased.

She smiled. "I can't tell you the last time I had a thirty minute shower."

"Well then I'm glad you did have one."

"So how long did I sleep for?"

"Four hours."

"Wow. Can't tell you the last time I did that either."

He looked at her curiously. "Liv, how are you handling all this?"

"Ok, I guess. I mean it's hard. Harder than I expected. I mean I expected that it would be hard, but I wasn't supposed to be doing it alone. Nick was planning on working from home for a while so that we could do this together. It's ironic you know. I always planned that when I had kids I'd be married and in a stable environment." She smiled. "I always wanted the kids and the house with the white picket fence, and I guess in a way I almost had all that. But then things change."

"Do you regret? Having him. The way you did?"

"No, I can never regret having him. He's my son and I love him. No matter what I'm always going to love him. So what if I don't have the husband and the house. I have him and right now that's all that matters to me," She said glancing down at her son.

"That's great Liv."

"I worry though. If I'm going to be enough for him. If I have what it takes to raise him right. I don't think I'll ever be able to live with myself if he grows up to be like the guys we put away."

"I don't think he will, and if he starts to head down that path I have an old Marine buddy that will be sure to straighten him out."

She chuckled. "Thanks."

"No problem." They both laughed together. "Well I have to go now. The kids will never let me live it down if I'm late again. Oh and I gave Nicky a bath so he should be ready for bed once he's done."

"Thank you and they shouldn't let you live it down if you're late. Thanks for coming over. I missed seeing you." It was so much more than that for her. She had grown accustomed to him. Seeing him, and being near him everyday. Some days she felt awkward because she hadn't seen him or spoken to him. Even more than that she felt drawn to him, like in some way, she needed him.

"Missed you too," he replied sympathetically before leaning over and kissing her cheek. He stood and glanced at her one last time. "Bye Olivia. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yea, I'd like that."

"Good. See ya then."

"See ya."

He walked out of her place and the moment the door closed, leaned against the wall and took several deep breaths to try and control himself. He wanted so badly to see what was underneath that robe and it took all the self-control he had to keep his erection from growing any larger. Once he was settled he headed off for dinner with his kids.

She remained on the couch and thought about and how kind and sweet he had been towards her. How he had stayed and handled everything without her asking. She glanced around the room. Everything was spotless and in its rightful place. The laundry she had yet to finish was neatly folded and placed in one of the other chairs near by. She thought about how sweet and caring he had been since Nick's death. How he had always been there for everything she needed. She missed Nick and wished he was there to at least meet their son but knew that there was no chance of that happening. He was dead and there was nothing more that she could do about it. For now she had her son and that was all she needed. For now.

For all those who didn't read the new CH.8 I suggest you read it. No reason really. Just want you all to get the full experience of the story. (if that makes sence). Thanks for reading!


	11. Suggestions

This is the beginning to what you've all been waiting for. I hope you like it. :)

SVU Squad Room

October 10th

Months passed and baby Nicky was now three months old. Elliot had made a point to keep in contact with Olivia no matter what, and it had been easier than he thought it would be. Work had suddenly become less hectic and he was able to have dinner with Olivia and Nicky almost every night. Some evenings they would go for a walk in the park and on others they would just relax in the comfort of her home and watch movies.

They now sat across from each other doing various things. Elliot was packing up while Olivia was continuing on with her paper work. Elliot glanced up at her and watched as she glanced over at her watch then continued on her paper work only to glance back at her watch again. He watched as her brows furrowed together and her handwriting pace increase.

"What's the matter?" He asked.

"I got all this paper work to do and I'm supposed to be there to pick Nicky up in like…" she glanced at her watch. "20 minutes."

"Why don't you just take it home with you?"

"Trust me if I could, I would, but I can't. If it isn't turned in by the end of today, my ass is going to be held in contempt."

"Well I can finish it for you."

"No. Thank you though, but I don't need you picking up my slack."

"I'm not picking up your slack, I'm helping you out."

"You're picking up my slack and we both know that. I need to prove to myself that I can handle this and you picking up my slack isn't helping me do that."

"Liv, you have nothing to prove. You're a single mother with a hectic job, and so far you've been doing it all on your own. It's ok to let someone help you every now and then."

"I know that, but I need to prove it to myself."

"Haven't you already done that? You've managed to get what you needed done in order to haul your ass out of here by six o'clock every evening and because were handed a very difficult and unexpected case, things got messed up. It's Ok. It happens."

"I know, but still."

"Fine. Let me pick Nicky up for you." She began to shake her head. "Either you let me pick him up or I finish your paper work. You have to choose."

"I would love to get Nicky right now, but _I_ really need to finish this so can you pick him up?"

"Sure, but I have do some grocery shopping, 'cause the kids are coming over to spend a couple of days with me. So would you mind picking him up from my place?"

"No. That would be fine. I'll call the day-care to let them know that you're coming. Thank you for doing this. Are you sure you don't mind?"

"It's no problem. I like spending time with him. I'll see you later."

"Yea, later."

Stabler Residence

Manhattan, NY

Around ten that evening Olivia knocked on Elliot's apartment door. Elliot opened the door and let her in.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," she replied back tiredly. "I hope he wasn't too much trouble," she said glancing down at Nicky who was fast asleep in his car seat.

"Are you kidding me? He was the perfect little angel. Great company for grocery shopping. I was worried about running out of milk, but once he had finished it, he was fine."

"Yea, he's starting to eat a little less often."

"Well come have a seat. You look exhausted."

"I am. It's actually the reason why I can't. I'm afraid that if I sit down I'll never get back up. Sucks that we have work tomorrow." She finished with a smile.

"It's only one day and then there's the weekend. But if you're really that tired maybe you shouldn't drive home."

"No, I'm good. I have enough energy left to make it home, shower, and climb into bed."

"You sure, 'cause I can always drive you home if you like."

"No, I'm fine. I think I'm going to take him and go now. Thank you so much for baby-sitting. I really appreciate it."

"Hey, I should be thanking you. He's very entertaining and actually pays attention when I talk to him about sports." They both shared a smile over the memory of Olivia almost falling asleep while he talked stats to her about the Knicks."

"Yea, yea, yea. I'll see you," she said spreading a blanket over Nicky and hoisting the baby bag over her shoulder.

"Umm Liv?" he asked nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Yea?" she answered as she picked up Nicky's car seat.

"I noticed we both had Sunday off and I was wondering… I was wondering if you would like to spend the day with me in the park. Have a picnic or something. Maybe toss the ball around."

She eyed him skeptically before answering. It wasn't like him to be so nervous. "Sure. That sounds like a good idea. I'd love to do that."

A big smile came over his voice. "Great. Don't worry about a thing. You bring food for him and I'll bring food for us."

"Sounds good to me."

"Alright so I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yea. Tomorrow."

Thanks to those who reviewed, and for those who still have faith in me. Some of you have left, but for those who have stayed thank you. I promise you won't be too disappointed. ;)


	12. A Day Out

OK. This is fluff people. Fluffy fluff fluff. I hope you all like it, and are satisfied with it. After all it is what most of you wanted. In some sense. Enjoy!

Central Park

Manhattan, NY

October 13th

Sunday came around and Elliot woke up early to get started on his preparations for the day. He and Olivia had decided that they would meet up at the park so he wanted to have everything ready before she got there. He had spent the last two days with his kids and he had had a good time with them, but he was excited for Sunday to come so he could spend time with Olivia and Nicky. Now that Sunday was finally here he found himself in a mix of emotions. Happy, anxious, excited, and nervous, were some of the emotions he felt, but most of all nervous. He was about to take a major step for himself and in his relationship with Olivia and he was hoping that she would be ready to take that step with him.

He arrived at the park and began setting up the supplies on the picnic blanket he had brought with him. He had brought a Frisbee for them to throw around for a bit, sandwiches, and drinks. He made sure he had a variety so that she could pick and choose what she wanted, and for his finally he had a stack of brownies Kathleen had made for him as a treat and he decided to make them a part of this special day.

He looked up in time to see Olivia walking over and had to check twice to make sure it was really her. She wore sneakers, shorts and a light pink camisole and he suddenly found himself thanking God for the incredibly warm October day, which was nothing short of a miracle. She looked absolutely amazing having already lost the baby weight. He had been around to handle Nicky for her while she worked out but this was the first time he had ever even caught a glimpse of the end results. She walked over pushing Nicky in his stroller.

"Hi," she said raising her pink shades to see him better.

"Hi," he replied back as he stood and gave her a hug. She hugged him back warmly. "You look great."

"Thanks. It's nice to be wearing something other than my work clothes and pajamas for a change. And it's nice to see those pale chicken legs of yours," she said eyeing him in his athletic shorts and gray t-shirt.

"Ha, ha," he mocked. He glanced over at the stroller that had the cover up. "Oh don't tell me he's asleep," he said disappointedly.

"No. Just wanted to protect him from the sun," she said as she pulled back the cover so that he could see the baby. Elliot peered in at him over at Olivia's shoulder, and smiled when he saw Nicky's bright blue eyes staring back at him.

Nicky smiled back and Elliot reached in to pick him up. "Hey buddy," he said as he lifted him to his shoulder. He then adjusted his navy blue cap that went along with his shorts and the outlining of his white t-shirt.

"So what have you got for me? I'm starving." Olivia asked as she parked the stroller then sat down on the blanket beside him.

He sat down beside her and nestled Nicky in the crook of his arm.

"Take your pick. There's soda, juice, water."

"And in terms of food?"

"Well there are chips and several different sandwiches for you to chose from and brownies."

"Ooooo can I have the brownies first? "

"Now Olivia, what kind of example is that setting for your son?"

"That chocolate always comes first," she said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Liv…" he chastised.

"Alright. Hand me a tuna sandwich. You do have tuna right?"

"Of course I have tuna," he said reaching into one of the small coolers he brought. "I would hate to see what would happen if I didn't."

She giggled. "Count your blessings that you don't."

Central Park

Time went by and they ate and talked and had an overall good time. They played Frisbee while Nicky slept but always made sure that they could keep a tight watch on him. They lay back, lounging on the blanket. Nicky was between them and staring up at them while his pacifier bobbed in his mouth. Elliot watched Olivia as she played and smiled with her son, making him giggle hysterically. She then sat up and picked Nicky up and held him up in the air, only bringing him down to blow raspberries in his stomach, which only caused him to laugh more.

She finally brought him down and hugged him to her chest. "You know I miss this," she said to Elliot.

"Miss what?"

"This. Holding him, playing with him and spending time with him. I don't get to spend half as much time with him as I really want to. I feel like I miss so much."

"I think that's natural."

"It is?" she asked as she shifted Nicky to rest in the crook of her arm.

"Yea, I remember Kathy was the same way. Had some serious attachment issues when it came to letting Maureen go to day-care."

She giggled. "What about you?"

"I missed her of course but I got over it quickly. Then when I joined SVU I felt like I missing out on everything, then I actually was missing out on everything."

"I'm sorry," she said as she picked up Nicky's rattle and waved in front of him to keep him busy.

"For what? It's not your fault. I choose the job over my family and I got what I deserved. If I had made more time for them maybe now I'd be able to see them more than every other weekend and a holiday every now and then."

"Elliot now you and I both know that you did NOT chose your job over your family. You work to protect them, so don't second guess yourself," she said firmly." Not like I am. She mumbled to herself.

"What do you mean?"

"It's taking away my time from my son. Now don't get me wrong I love my job, I do but… now all we have is each other and I don't want to miss out on his life," she said looking down at him.

"Liv, did you plan on leaving before? Before Nick died?"

"No, but I didn't have Nicky then; I'm all he's got now."

"So what do you want?"

"I don't know."

"How long have you been thinking about this?"

"A little bit more and more since I went back to work. I mean I don't have to work. Nick left more than enough for us to get by for the rest of our lives."

"But?.." he asked sensing one come along, hoping one was coming along.

"I love my job. I like being there for the victims. Being an advocate for them and giving them somebody to count on. Somebody they can talk to."

"Well you can still do that." He couldn't believe what he was saying. He didn't want her to go, but he couldn't knowingly try to talk her out of it for his own benefit.

"I know, but it's not the same. I like the more active role. I feel I do more being a cop and now I'm not only helping them, but I'm also helping and protecting my son."

"Liv, I think you also have some attachment issues," he tilted her head up to look at him. "You can't be there all the time. As much as you want to you can't. There's going to be a time, like it or not where he'll want to be as far away from you as possible, but it doesn't mean he'll love you any less. Being away from him now is hard, but you're doing a great job when it comes to spending time with him. Better than I ever did when I first joined SVU."

She smiled sadly. "Is that time where he'll want to be away from me any time soon?"

He glanced down at Nicky who had curled up to her and closed his eyes. "Naa. Give it fourteen to fifteen more years."

"Maureen has taught you well."

"That she has. So are you going to leave?" _Please say no._ He thought in his head.

"No, I think I'm going to wait it out a bit more. I mean he's only been in day care for a month and I guess I'm just having some separation issues. I'll see how I feel in a month."

"Good," he said letting out a sigh of relief.

"Would you miss me?"

"What?"

"If I was gone, would you miss me?"

"Of course I would miss you, Liv. You're my partner. Why?"

"I don't know. Just wondering."

He figured now was as good a time as any to ask her. He took a deep breath to gain some courage. "Liv, would you… Would you be…"

"What?"

"Would it be ok if I asked you out some time?" _There finally I asked her._ He looked up and saw the panic and the shock cross her face. "I mean I know that you just lost Nick and I'll understand if you're not ready, but I like you. I really, really like you, and it's ok if you say no. I'll understand completely, but I want to know if it would be ok." She simply stared at him with a look of shock on her face. "Liv? Liv talk to me. Please."

"I…I don't know," she answered shaking her head.

_What have I done?_ "Look I understand if you're not ready, but are you? Not. Ready?"

"I don't know. I want to be," she said looking down at Nicky in her lap. "Would it be wrong if I was?"

"As much as I want to answer that for you I can't. Only you can."

"Maybe… Maybe if we take it slow?"

"I'd be willing to do that. I mean if you were."

"I am, but…"

"But what?"

"I'm not sure."

He nodded. "I understand. Look forget about it was just a suggestion. Let's act like it never happened."

"But I don't want to."

"You don't?" he asked in disbelief.

"No. Just don't rush this. Baby steps ok?"

A big smile came across his face. "Baby steps." Both sat in an awkward silence until he spoke up again. "How bout we pack everything up and go for a walk."

"Sounds good to me. Do you mind if we stop at my car and pack up Nicky's stroller."

"Sure, no problem."

They both packed up everything and stopped at his car first before heading over to hers. He was surprised to see the brand new gold Lexus RX 330.

"Umm Liv, when you mentioned getting a new family car I didn't think you would get this."

"I didn't. This is courtesy of Rose Daniels. I let it slip when she came to see Nicky after he was born that I would be getting a new car. A week later a man arrives at my door with keys to this and instructions to take my old car."

"Was this what you wanted?"

"No. Nothing this extravagant."

"So why didn't you say no?"

"No one says no to Rose Daniels. After debating with her for about an hour I caved. I had a major headache and Nicky had woken up and I didn't have the energy or the time to continue, so I agreed to give it a try. So far so good."

He nodded. "Ok, why don't you pop the trunk so I can put the stroller in the back."

"'K." She did as he said and he folded the stroller expertly before placing it in the back. "Can you grab my pouch for me. It's back there too."

"Sure." He placed the stroller in and pulled the pouch out.

"Hold him while I put this on?" she asked.

"Sure." She handed Nicky to him and took the pouch from him. After she secured the pouch on her body Elliot placed Nicky in he was facing her

"God. He looks so small dangling from that thing."

She glanced down. "I know."

"So are we ready to go?" he asked as he closed the trunk.

"Yup." She made sure she had Nicky's pacifier before closing the door. She pushed the button on her car remote to lock the car, and then walked over to stand beside him. He held his hand out to her, his palm up. She looked into his eyes looked in his eyes, so full of hope and then placed her hand in his. Before walking off they linked fingers.

"How 'bout we take the short route since it's getting late."

"Sounds good to me, as long as the short route includes the ice cream stand."

"Of course the short route includes the ice cream stand. Especially after you ate all the brownies."

"Well you should know by now that women don't share chocolate. Don't you have three daughters and an ex-wife?"

"Yes, but they knew how to share. How was I supposed to know that you were going to eat the entire plate?"

"Well now you know, but in case you didn't get the memo I don't share chocolate."

"Duly noted." They walked in a comfortable silence for a while just enjoying the unusual quiet and the scenery. Elliot glanced over at Olivia as she held a hand to the back of Nicky's head supporting him to her, as she glanced around. "Ice cream stand's coming up. Tell me what you want so I can go get it."

"No, El I'll pay."

"Nope. I'm considering this our first date so therefore I'll be paying for everything today."

"No El I can pay for my own ice cream, you handled everything else."

"So. I'm still paying."

"I'll make you a deal. You go up there and buy the ice cream that's my favorite. If you pick the right one you get to pay. If you don't I'll pay for both of our."

"Liv."

"Nope. That's the deal take it or leave it."

"Fine." He walked over to the stand and returned a few moments later carrying two cones of ice cream, Chocolate and Cookies n' Cream. He handed her the Cookies n' Cream and she just had to smile.

"Nope."

"No Liv you can't do that. Take it 'cause we both know it's your favorite."

"Fine. But I get the next one."

"Deal. What kind of ice cream did you crave when you were pregnant?"

"It was a mix. Vanilla and Cherry Garcia. Nick thought I was weird but it was what I wanted so it was what he got," she said glancing back down at Nicky.

"So how many midnight runs did you make him go on?"

"Two. By the time I sent him out for the third we were already fully stocked."

"Smart man."

"Yea, thanks for taking over for those midnight runs."

"Please. It gave me an excuse to eat ice cream in the middle of the night. My mother used to scold me for that. She always said it would rot my teeth."

"It will."

"That's probably why I still hear her voice in my head every time I go to do so."

She giggled. "How many times did Kathy make you do it?"

"Too many to count. And it wasn't like I could do what Nick did 'cause she always wanted a different kind. It was especially horrible with the twins, because she would always change her mind, but I did it. I did it because I loved her and she was having my kids."

"Do you still love her?"

"Not the way you think. I love her for giving me my children, but I don't think I'll love the way I used to ever again."

"D you think you broke up now because you married so young?"

"In a way yes. Now don't get me wrong I did love her when we got married, but we were young, and inexperienced, and weren't exactly sure what we were get ourselves into. But as we got older we grew into different people and because I let my job get in the way, we grew apart." She nodded. He held his ice cream in front of her. "You've been eying it since I got it. Trade."

"Sure." They traded ice creams and she immediately began to indulge in his.

"Why didn't you tell me that was the flavor you wanted?"

"Because it wasn't. I just like variety, that's all."

"I'll be sure to remember that."

"You should. It may come in handy one day."

"Thanks for the warning."

"You welcome," she smiled.

Benson Residence

"So where do you want me to put this?" Elliot asked as they walked into her condo. She was carrying Nicky while he carried the baby bag.

"I'll take it with me" she replied reaching for the bag. "Sit down and make yourself at home, I'll be right back," she said as she headed to Nicky's bedroom.

She placed the bag beside his crib and kissed his forehead before placing him down in his crib. She knew he would wake soon, but she wanted him to get as much sleep as possible. She then walked out into the living room and took a seat beside Elliot. "Do you want something to drink?"

"No thanks I'm good. I think I ate enough today to last me till lunch tomorrow."

"Please. You'll be complaining to me by eight that you're hungry."

"Ok, but what can you say? I'm a man."

"Whatever. Thanks for buying dinner and everything else today."

"It was my pleasure."

"I'll cover our meals tomorrow."

"You don't have to do that."

"I know, but I want to. Today really gave me the chance to relax and I appreciate that."

"Hey, I could tell that you needed it. Just glad that I could help."

"Me too."

"Umm Liv?"

"Yea?"

"Can I … Can I kiss you?"

"What happened to taking things slow?"

"I know, I know. You're right. Forget I said anything. So any good movies on tonight?"

"Not that I know of. Flip around, see if you find anything."

"'K."

She looked at him and watched as he expertly flipped through the channels and used the guide to his advantage. So many nights he had spent there that he now knew the channels he liked by heart and he also knew what she liked to watch.

"One kiss."

"What?"

"A kiss. You said you wanted to kiss me, unless you've changed your mind."

"NO!" he spoke up quickly. "No, I still want to kiss you."

"Ok. So… Kiss me!"

He grinned before leaning over and brushed his lips ever so softly over hers. When she didn't pull away he tangled his fingers in her hair and drew her closer to him. He touched his lips back to hers and traced her lower lip with his tongue. When she opened up to him he slid his tongue in and she brought her hand up to cup the side of his face. Soon the kiss overwhelmed them both and she broke the kiss.

"Slow remember?" She panted.

"Yea, slow," he mumbled about to back to go for more when they both heard Nicky's soft cries.

"Be right back," she said as she got up and headed over to Nicky's room. She returned a few moments later cradling Nicky to her chest and sat down next to him.

"Is he ok?" He asked as he gave Nicky his finger, and began to play with him.

"Yea, just wants to be up with mommy for awhile."

"Hey, I don't blame him."

"Elliot we need to talk about something," she said seriously.

"Ok, like what?" he answered a bit nervously. By her tone it sounded like he had taken one step forward only to take two more back.

"Like our jobs. We both know we can't be together and work together, and I'm afraid of sacrificing our partnership for something that might be. More than that, our friendship. You mean a lot to me and I don't want to risk our friendship for some kind of fling."

" Liv, this is in no way, shape, or form a fling. I'm in this for the long term if there is one. And I'm willing to go as slow as you need us to, and I think we owe it to ourselves to see where this goes. As far as I know, we can cross that hurdle with our jobs when it comes up. But if anything happens you know I would take the fall."

"I can't ask that of you Elliot."

"But the point is you wouldn't have to. I would do it anyway. I know how much SVU means to you and I would never get in the way of that."

"But it means something to you too."

"True, but you mean more."

"But I don't want to gain you in one way, just to lose you in another."

"Liv, no matter what happens between us, we will always be friends. I won't let our friendship deteriorate for anything, even this."

"Ok. But there's more."

"'K shoot."

"Nicky. He comes first in all this, which means sometimes he may get in the way of things, but he will always come first."

"I perfectly understand. And I'm glad that is, because if he didn't come first, you wouldn't be the woman I want to be with."

She smiled and leaned over and brushed her lips over his. "Thank you."

"So, when can I take you out on a real date? Just the two of us?"

"Well, Nicky's grandmother will be coming for a visit in about six weeks."

"Wow do you have anything a bit closer."

"Sorry, I have yet to find a decent babysitter so until then it's all three of us. But what we can do is have a few romantic dinners here after Nicky goes to bed."

"I'd like that. On one condition."

"What?"

"You let me cook for you."

"You cook?"

"Well yea, I have been a bachelor for nearly a year now Liv, I have to survive some how."

"I thought you ordered out. Or ate those frozen dinner things."

"I'm hurt, Liv."

"Well you spend so much time here, how am I supposed to know?"

"By letting me cook you dinner tomorrow night."

"Fine. But if I get food poisoning, you're going to be in very big trouble, my friend."

"I promise you you'll be fine. My kids are still here."

"Ok, but just to let you know I don't forgive easily."

"That I do know."

"Good. So find something for us to watch."

"I'm already on it." "Yea. Tomorrow."

Thanks to those who reviewed, and for those who still have faith in me. Some of you Thanks for reading. Hope you all enjoyed that.


	13. A Night In

More Fluff! YAY! Enjoy!

Benson Residence

November 26th

Elliot knocked on the door to Olivia's condo and waited for her to answer. He had gone over to her place nearly every night since they had made the decision to start dating. They had taken it slow as promised, spending nights in watching movies and playing with Nicky, which would then turn into them talking while Nicky slept. Every night he left her place he found himself falling for her even more. He waited a few more seconds before he finally heard her call back an answer.

"Use your key!"

He smiled and shook his head as switched the bag of takeout to his other hand so he could grab his keys. He knew she was most likely too comfortable in whatever position she was in to get up and answer the door. He stepped in and walked over into the living room where he found her nestled in the far corner of her couch and engrossed in whatever TV show she was watching. Files were in her lap and a pen was in her hand. Nicky sat in his bouncer, sticking his hand in his mouth as he starred up at her.

Over the past few weeks they had settled into something comfortable. He came over for dinner every night that he wasn't working or with his kids. Sometimes he brought dinner, most times she cooked. They talked and played around with Nicky until it was late and then he would reluctantly leave her and go home. He found himself getting more and more attached to her, but not only her, but also her son. He felt his heart warm every time Nicky smiled up at him or fell asleep in his arms. He was only four months old and Elliot already loved him like a son. He liked this dynamic. It felt like he was coming home to a family again. Olivia was his wife and Nicky was his son, the only thing that was missing was the rest of his kids. The only problem was when he had to go home to his lonely apartment and reality would come crashing around him. He missed his family and most of all he wanted it back, but this time around he wanted a family with Olivia and Nicky, along with the rest of his kids, and only hoped that the relationship they were currently working on now was heading in that direction.

Olivia had taken to him too. She loved how caring he was and how willing he was to listen and even talk back to her. So many years they had spent keeping most of their personal lives away from each other and now they were letting everything out in the open. She loved how he never pushed, and how he knew when to stop a conversation without either of them feeling uncomfortable about it. She loved how great he was with Nicky. She would often sit and listen to the many different life morals Elliot would tell him even though he couldn't understand him. She loved how he already had plans to teach him how to ride a bike, play basketball, hit a ball out of the park, to take him to games and eventually introduce him to the rest of his kids. She found herself falling in love with him, and it scared her. She felt like she was moving on too fast, and was afraid she might end up getting hurt again. Most of all she was afraid at how fast she was falling for him. Nick had had to work his way into her heart and she hadn't made it easy for him, yet Elliot seemed to have no problems. She was confused about it all, but felt that as long as they took it slow she would have time to work things out and figure everything out for herself, but only with time.

"Hey babe," Elliot said as he place their bag of takeout on the coffee table and leaned down to kiss her.

She turned her head just in time to meet her lips with his kiss. "Hey," she smiled as she pulled away. "So what did you get us for dinner?" she asked as she shifted her position to sit Indian style, so that he could have some room to sit.

"Chinese. Pork fried rice, General Tao's chicken, and Crab Mang Goo," He replied as he took a seat beside her.

"Mmmmmmm. Sounds good. You didn't forget the egg rolls did you?"

"How could I ever?" He said as he took the container and opened it before offering it to her.

"Thanks," she replied with a smile.

"So what are you two up to?" Elliot asked as he reached for Nicky, who had begun to fall asleep, and settled him in his lap.

"Well he was watching me do my paperwork, while I watch Fear Factor."

"No wonder he was falling asleep."

"Shut up."

"I think maybe we should switch the channel."

"Why? I like this show."

"I understand, but they eat some pretty gross stuff and I can't promise that I'll be able to keep my dinner down after seeing that."

"What the big bad SVU detective can't stomach some pig intestines?"

"No he can't, and he's hungry too so…"

"Fine, but whatever you find better be good."

"It will be. Jets are playing."

"NO."

"Why not? Nicky and I want to watch the game don'tcha buddy?" Nicky smiled at him and batted at his chest. "See majority rules."

"We always watch the game. And nice El, turning my son against me."

With that Nicky stretched across Elliot for Olivia. She smiled and took him and nuzzled his neck before kissing him. "I love you too, baby."

"I guess not. Traitor." He growled playfully at Nicky and tickled his stomach and was rewarded with a healthy, hearty laugh.

"Don't be jealous and find something for us to watch."

"Movie channel?"

"Fine, but I swear we're gonna run out of movies to watch."

"When Pigs fly."

"Elliot, you forgot the forks."

"Well, sorry your highness."

Getting his point, she stood and placed Nicky back in his bouncer before heading towards the kitchen.

"I'll take a coke with that too."

She laughed and shook her head as she headed towards the kitchen. She returned a few moments later with forks, plates, a glass of apple juice, and a coke for Elliot. She placed them on the table and Elliot began dishing out the food.

"So what movie did you pick?"

"Pearl Harbor," he said as he passed her her plate.

"Good choice."

"So how was your Thanksgiving?"

"Good, Yours?"

"Fine. Rose and I ate and then she headed off on some business trip. Says it's her last one before she can finally settle back down into her old life," she said as she chewed around bites of chicken.

"She finally found someone to run the company?"

"Yea, some guy that used to work with Nick."

"You know him?"

"Not well. I met him at a couple of functions Nick dragged me to."

He nodded and put some rice into his mouth. "I wanted to spend the day with you. I would have come after, but things ran kind of late at Kathy's."

"'S okay. You didn't miss much. After I drove back Nicky and I crashed for the night." He nodded. "So how's Kathy doing?"

"She's good. A bit better than I'd hope, but she's good."

"Why? Is she seeing someone?"

"Yea."

"Does that bother you?"

"A little bit, yea," he said as he scooped some rice into his mouth.

She cocked her head to the side to stare at him. "Why?"

He stopped chewing and starred back at her. "Why what?"

"Why does that bother you? Are you still in love with her or something?"

"No."

"Then why? You've moved on. Why can't she?"

He sighed. "Part of me wishes she was still hurting, or is hurting. I don't want her to move on because I want her to feel the way I felt when she left me. I want her to be feeling that pain. To me, her moving on seems kind of premature."

She nodded and focused her attention on her plate. "I was angry too."

"When?"

She finally looked up at him. "When she left you. I hated seeing you in so much pain."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome, I understand the way you feel. I was mad at Nick when he died." She went back to staring at her plate. "I was mad because he left me and Nicky. I was mad because he left me to raise Nicky all by myself, something he knew I was terrified of doing. Mad because he broke his promise to never leave me." She laughed and brushed away her fallen tears. "It's stupid I know, considering he was dead. He couldn't help what happened to him. But…part of me still wishes he stepped off that curb maybe a second or a minute later."

He tilted her head up to face him. "It's not stupid. You have nothing to be ashamed about. You're right, he did leave you. Not intentionally, but he did leave you."

She nodded and handed him her plate. "Can I some more, please?"

"Sure," he replied taking her plate from her. He dished out some more for her and handed her back her plate before taking more for himself. "Liv, maybe we shouldn't be doing this."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's clear that you're still not over Nick and I don't want to push you into anything you're not ready for."

"Who said I wasn't ready for this? I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, El. As long as we continue to take it slow."

"I have no problems with that." He glanced down and saw that Nicky had fallen asleep in his bouncer. "Want me to put him down for you?" he asked as he gestured to Nicky.

She glanced over and saw the same. "Sure."

"He had his bath yet?"

"Yup, you can just put his PJ's on and put him down. I'll clean up out here."

"Alright." Elliot leaned down and picked Nicky up out of his bouncer, being careful not to jostle him too much, seeing how he didn't want to wake him. He walked into Nicky's room and laid him on the changing table. He changed his diaper and put on his pajamas, then picked him up and kissed his forehead before tucking him into his crib. He turned out the lights and walked out of the room to join Olivia back out on the couch.

"He go down okay?" she asked as Elliot sat and stretched out in the corner of her couch.

"Yup, didn't even move. Looks like he finally got used to sleeping in New York."

"Yea and the sound proofing helped too." She moved over and settled herself in between his legs and rested her head against his chest.

The movement surprised him. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yea."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her waist, and slipped his fingers underneath the hem of her t-shirt to caress the smooth skin of her flat stomach, which seem to cause her to settle into him more as she drew lazy circles over his hand. "He sleep through the night yet?"

"No, but it all depends. As long as I keep him on schedule he'll sleep till six, which is basically sleeping through the night seeing how it's the same time I get up to get ready for work anyway, but on the weekends, it's a bitch."

"Tell me about it. Wait until he gets to the point where he thinks Mommy's bed is better. Then you'll have problems, but it probably won't be so bad since it's only him."

"What? Your kids give you problems?" she asked around a teasing grin.

"At one point I was on the couch because there was no room for me."

"Speaking of your kids, do you have them this weekend?"

"Yea, so I don't think I'll be by. Is that okay?" He felt her nod against his chest.

"It's fine with me. Can you come by before hand?"

He shook his head. "Sorry, I'm picking them up right after work."

"It's okay." He leaned down and kissed her head and inhaled the flowery aroma left by her shampoo.

He chuckled to himself. "Besides if I go back to pick them up smelling like a baby, they're gonna maul me."

This had her chuckling too. "What?" she asked shaking her head. She sat up and turned to face him, swinging her leg to dangle off the couch.

"Remember the other day when I came over here and helped you out?"

"Yea. Then you went to have dinner with your kids. You were worried about being late."

"Well I was late, and when they asked me where I was I told them I was helping out a friend, and while Lizzie was hugging me she picked up on the fact that I smelt like Nicky, and accused me of keeping you guys all to myself."

"Why would she do that?"

"Because they are all incredibly desperate about seeing you and especially Nicky."

"Then why don't you bring them by? I would love to see your kids, and I'm pretty sure Nicky would to. If you haven't noticed he loves attention."

"I have and I've been meaning to but something always comes up. We either get carried away in something or something happens with work, but I've already promised them that I'll bring them by to see you, if that's okay?"

"It's fine. How bout Saturday."

"Can't. Dickie has basketball practice, Kathleen's working, Maureen's studying, and if I bring by only one of them I will have hell to pay."

"Well then we'll have to plan a day or something."

"Yea, but I don't know when that will be. They're so busy these days I barely have time with them myself. I'm going to have them all reserve a day that we can all spend together."

"Alright."

"So do we have a deal?"

"That we do. C'mere," she said crooking a finger at him with a devilish smile on her face. He leaned over and sealed his lips to hers. She smiled underneath his kiss and pulled him closer. "You've been especially good tonight," she said as she nipped at his bottom lip.

"I was hoping that if I was I'd get a prize or something," he said pushing forward and leaning her back. She brought her hands up to caress the sides of his face then circled them around his neck and opened her legs allowing him to settle in between them.

He traced her bottom lip with the tip of his tongue beckoning her to open up to him. She parted her lips slightly allowing him to come in and to explore the depths of her mouth. She loved the taste of him, always different, but always had the faint taste that was uniquely him. She ran her hands over the gentle stubble that grew along the creamy skin of his face. He broke their kiss to trail his kisses up her jaw line then down her neck.

"Elliot," she moaned softly when he finally reached the spot that sent chills down her spine.

He moved back up to her lips and covered them with his, but this time she pushed her tongue into his mouth as he began to move his hands up underneath her shirt and grazed the curve of her breasts with his fingers. He began to rock rhythmically against her as she ran her fingers through his hair. He began to feel a familiar tightening in his jeans and immediately pulled back away from her.

"What?" she asked sitting up and panting through swollen lips.

"Nothing," Elliot replied in a tight voice and inching away from her toward the other end of the couch.

"No what is it? Did I do something wrong?"

"No. In fact you did everything right."

"Then I don't-" she glanced down and saw the bulge in his pants and grinned up at him. He reached back and grabbed one of the cushions behind him and used it to cover his bulge. "You're so cute," she said cupping his face in her hands and kissing him.

"Ahh Liv," he said as he pulled her hands down and held them in his hands. "I still have to get home, and if you keep that up I'll have a stain on my pants that won't need explaining."

She giggled. "Ok. So I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yea, tomorrow," he said standing.

"Can I still get a kiss goodbye?"

"Of course," he leaned down and brushed his lips briefly over hers. "Bye."

"Bye," she replied.

She watched as he turned around and took a few deep breaths before heading out the door. Once out side he waited for her to lock the door before leaning back against it. "God I love her," he said to himself.

Let me know your thoughts and comments. They make me happy. :)


	14. Realizations

**It's a shorty but a goody. Enjoy!**

SVU Squad Room

December 10th

A couple weeks went by and Olivia and Elliot had grown closer to each other, surprising both of them. They had gone out on a few private dates, which was a rarity in itself, but they had both enjoyed the time they had shared together and finished off most of their nights talking to each other as the night turned to dawn.

Now they sat across from each other in a comfortable silence as they both finished up their paperwork. Elliot glanced over at the clock and noticed that it was getting pretty late and Olivia hadn't left to pick up Nicky, which she should of done hours ago.

"Liv?"

"Hmm?" she answered, still focusing on her paper work.

"How come you didn't pick Nicky up tonight?"

"I did. When you went to meet Maureen for lunch."

"But that was early this afternoon. Where is he now?"

"With his grandmother, remember?"

"Oh yea. I forgot."

"Yup," she replied leaning back in her chair.

"So that means you're free for the night," he said as the corner of his mouth twitched into lopsided grin.

"Yea, I guess I am."

"Have any plans?"

"Nope."

"Wanna call it a night and get something to eat or something?"

"Sounds like a plan to me," she said as she began to pack up her things.

"And after?" he leered.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure we'll think of something."

Benson Residence

Elliot and Olivia stumbled into her apartment in a tangle of limbs. Lips locked, hands traveling in uncharted territory. He pressed her against the wall and closed the door behind him then began maneuvering them to her bedroom in a foreign dance that both seemed to know. Him following her, her following him, until they reached the edge of her bed. She sat down and lay back, pulling him with her. He toed off his shoes and socks then pulled off hers before returning to her.

She laid there beneath him unbuttoning her shirt as he kissed her neck, and she began to realize what exactly was happening between them. What was about to happen between them and felt a fit of panic rise in her chest. This was something she hadn't done since Nick died. _"Oh God Nick,"_ she thought. _"Should I be doing this? Nick has only been gone for a while, and what about Nicky? This man isn't his father. Isn't the one I loved enough to create a child with."_

"Stop," she whimpered softly as he eyes filled with tears and her throat filled with emotion. "Stop," she said a bit stronger. "Elliot, please st-" he was off her before she could finish her sentence.

"What's wrong?" he asked softly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Let me up." He pulled back off her and she sat up and swung he legs over the side of the bed. She rested her arms on her legs and sobbed into her hands, forgetting about her shirt that still hung open and Elliot who sat on the bed utterly confused.

"Liv," he said gently touching her shoulder.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm just…I'm just not ready."

Elliot sighed, not exactly sure what to do. He didn't know what to say to comfort her; he had never been in that kind of situation before. He glanced over at her, still crying into her hands. He slid over to the other side of the bed and began putting his socks and shoes back on. He didn't want to leave her, but he didn't want her to feel pressured either. He stood and silently walked towards her bedroom door.

"Wait," she called to him. He stopped in his tracks and turned to see her eyes red-rimmed with tears. "Please don't leave me."

He turned back and headed towards her bed. He toed his shoes back off and lay down on the bed with her. She turned and lay down beside him, turning her back to him so that he wouldn't see her cry. He quickly grew tired of listening to her sniffle and watching her shudder and shake with every passing sob. He pulled her closer and turned her to face him. He wiped away the tears that trailed down her face and pulled her closer to him. He listened as her sobs slowly subsided and her breathing evened out. He looked down and saw her fast asleep, dried tear marks on her face. He kissed her forehead and pulled her close, wanting her to feel close to him. Wanting her to know that he was there for her, and eventually he fell asleep.

Thanks for Reading. :)


	15. Truth

**SORRY!!!!! I am so Sorry for the lack in updates. I'm doing my best, but I'm extremely busy right now. Here's a little sumthin' sumthin' that I managed to finish for you all. Enjoy. And again I'm sorry. I'll try to do better on the next chapter. Please R&R.**

Benson Residence 

December 11th

The next morning Elliot woke up and glanced down at the woman lying beside him. Olivia was still asleep, her head resting on his outstretched forearm and the back of her hand lying in his while the other rested delicately on her toned stomach. His eyes skimmed over her beautiful body, taking in the blue lace that held her breast and the soft smooth skin of her chest and abdomen. She shifted a bit and his eyes immediately went to her face, when she didn't wake he went back to gazing at her beautiful body. Her hand had moved granting him access to what it hid underneath it.

His eyes ran over the faint stretch marks that permanently marked her delicate flesh and seemed to tell a story of its own. He ran his fingers gently over them, watching her for any sign of consciousness. To some men they would have been a complete turn off, showing that she had belonged to someone else before them, but to him they meant something else. The told him of the things she had experienced, and the life that she had lived. They enhanced her beauty and only made him love her more. He trailed his gaze up to her breast that threatened to spill over the top of her bra.

"Like what you see? Or are you just trying to cop a feel?"

His head shot up and he caught her gaze. "I'm- I didn't-I"

"Whoa Elliot its ok. Take a breath. I was just teasing," she smiled.

"Are you ok?"

At that the laughter that was evident faded away from her eyes. "Yea. I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what came over me, but I'm sorry for doing that to you. I didn't mean-"

"Hey," Elliot interrupted. "You don't have to explain it to me. I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything that you're not ready for. We have time, so let's just go back and continue to take it slow again, ok?"

"'K, but thanks for staying with me though. I really appreciate it."

"Anything I can do to help," Elliot replied. They lay in a comfortable silence and he simply starred at her as she watched the ceiling.

"Last night when we were- and you were- and I." Elliot looked at her and she could tell that he was confused. "Sorry this is coming out like this. It's just kind of hard for me to explain. An-"

"Look Liv, you don't have to explain anything to me. You weren't ready, I understand. I don't need anything more."

"I know, but I want to." He nodded and she continued. "Last night when you were…kissing me, and undressing me, I realized that you would be the first man I slept with since Nick. Then I started to wonder if it was too soon. It hasn't even been a year yet, and there I was about to make love to another man." She looked up at him to see if there was any reaction from him, but there was none, only understanding in his eyes. "And Nicky. I somehow felt as if… as I was betraying him and Nick. I know this probably makes no sense to you, but Nick didn't just up and leave me. He _died_. Maybe it would be different if he did, but I somehow felt… guilty. Do you understand?"

"I think so. Are you saying you don't want to do this anymore?" he asked, a tingle of disappointment in his voice.

"No, I'm not saying that. I want to be with you, believe me I do. You have helped me so much through this whole ordeal. I just want to know if you understand where I'm coming from?"

"I think I do. I kind of felt the same way when I started dating. Like being with someone who I hadn't been married to for the past twenty years of my life, who wasn't the mother of my children, was some how wrong. Like I was betraying them."

"Then if that's the way you felt, how come you wanted to be with me?"

"Because… you're special to me Liv. I don't know how to explain it, but something about being with you just seems right."

At this she smiled, but then turned serious. "Do you think I'm moving on too fast? I loved him. I did. It took you a year to get over Kathy, and here I am perfectly ok with being with you." She glanced up at him and saw the pain evident in his eyes. "Don't get me wrong El, being with you is great. I love it, but is it too soon? If I really loved him, shouldn't I be grieving more? Shouldn't I be waiting longer?"

"Liv, I can't answer that for you. Only you can tell if you're ready. You know what's in your heart and what seems right for you. I can't tell you what I think because what may be right for me might be wrong for you. You are so much stronger than I am in so many ways. I mean look what you've been through in such a short span of time, and here you are totally sane. I don't know if I could have gone through what you have and still be here the man I am today. But our experiences strengthen us. You are living proof of the saying what doesn't kill you, only makes you stronger, and what you've been through has made you the person you are today. The person that I lo-"

"What?"

"No, nothing. Look, your experiences made you strong enough to handle the things that have come your way. If you're ready to date, date. If not, then don't date."

She nodded and eyed him suspiciously for a moment. He ducked his head to avoid her suspicious gaze. Then her eyes softened. "Would you be willing to wait for me?"

"I'd wait forever."

"Forever is a long time."

"How ever long it takes you to be ready for that part of our relationship is how long I will wait."

"And if I'm never ready?"

"Then I guess I'll be taking a lot of cold showers."

She chuckled. "Thank you," she said as she hugged him. He hugged her back and leaned down to kiss her. "Are you sure?" she asked once their kiss broke.

"Liv, a life without you isn't much of a life at all."

She smiled again, and leaned up to kiss him once again. He deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue into her mouth, and danced his fingers over her silky skin. The feel of his hands on her sent chills down her spine. She raised her hand to cup the back of his neck and ran her delicate fingers through the short hair at the nape of his neck. She then brought them around to massage the gentle stubble on his face. They pulled apart and he rested his head against her forehead, heated breaths passing between them.

"What time is it?" she asked.

He pulled away and glanced over her shoulder. "10:30."

"I gotta go pick up Nicky."

"Ok."

"Wanna come?"

"Can't. I have the kids this weekend."

"Oh," Olivia said, a bit disappointed. "Ok, I'll see you later."

"Come."

"What?"

"Come with me. Go pick up Nicky and meet us at my place."

"No, Elliot. I don't want to intrude. You only get to spend so much time with them, and I don't want to impose."

"Are you kidding me? If I show up to meet them one more time smelling like baby, they're going beat me."

She smiled. "You haven't been near Nicky, how would you smell like him?"

"Liv, trust me they'll know. Besides I have all four of them, which is a rarity in itself, so it's the perfect timing for them to meet him."

"Are you ready for them to find out about us?"

"Well… no, but I still want you to spend time with us. Please?"

She nodded. "Okay. Leave now and I'll meet over there in a couple of hours."

"A broad smile covered his face. "Great." He rose up and kissed her goodbye before heading out the door.

She starred up at the ceiling and whispered a silent prayer. "Please let this work."

Thanks for reading. I'll see what I can do about that next chapter. Please Review:)


	16. Unwanted Possibilities

**See I did better. But I make no promises on the next xhapter. I'll see what I can do, but the story is not done. It won't be for awhile. Thanks to all who read and reviewed the last chapter. I love you all. And to all the new comers enjoy the ride. :)**

Sheraton Hotel

Manhattan, NY

December 11th

Olivia knocked on the door to Rose Daniels' hotel room. She waited a few seconds before Rose pulled the door open and forced a tight smile on her face. Nicky was in her arms and his face immediately lit up with pure joy when his gorgeous blue eyes settled upon his mother. Olivia flashed him a big smile and held her arms out to him. Nicky went willingly into her open arms.

"Hey, big boy," she said as she hugged and kissed her son. "I missed you." It had been the first night she had spent without him. "How was he?" she asked Rose.

"He was a pure joy. Gave me no trouble at all. Reminded me so much of Nick when he was his age."

Olivia nodded. "Yea, he reminds me so much of him sometimes."

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure," Olivia nodded. Rose led the way through the deluxe sweet and gestured for Olivia to sit in the couch before sitting down herself.

"I enjoyed having Nicky around so much that I was thinking about spending more time with him."

"Ok. It's kind of difficult with the driving distance and my hours, but I think we can work something out. Maybe a long weekend or something."

"That sounds…promising, but I was hoping that maybe he could stay with me for awhile."

"I don't know. I don't like being away from him for very long."

"I completely understand, but I think him staying with me would be for the best."

Olivia eyed her suspiciously. "What exactly are you saying?" Olivia asked, drawing a tighter grip on her son.

"Olivia, I want Nicky to come and live with me. Permanently."

"What? Are you kidding me? No! No, you cannot have my son!" Olivia stood up and began searching for Nicky's things. She located his jacket and began to pull it on him.

"Olivia stop and think about this for a moment. If he came to live with me, he would have all of the finer things in life. Think about it. Living with me is in his best interest."

"No, I think-No I know him living me is what's best for him."

"Olivia you can't give him what I can."

"He'll be fine with what he has. He has everything he needs right here with me."

"Olivia you don't underst-"

"I understand you want to take my son!" Olivia carefully placed Nicky in his car seat and began to buckle him in.

"Manhattan is no place for a child to grow up. I can provide a stable home for him, and you wouldn't have to worry about him being exposed to drugs and violence."

"I'll take my chances here."

"Olivia, don't you love him? Don't you want what's best for him?"

"Of course I do, bu-"

"Then let him come with me. At least he'll still be with family."

"I'm his family."

"Olivia."

"No," Olivia said firmly, looking her dead in the eye.

"Olivia, it would be in your best interest to hand him over to me, otherwise I'd be forced to take him."

Olivia stood once again and looked her deep in the eyes. "Is that a threat?"

"No, but Olivia I'm prepared to fight for him. And when I win I'll be taking full custody. At least this way you'll be able to come and get him or see him when you want."

Olivia's eyes furrowed together. "No! You have no right."

"Oh but I do have a right. My lawyer informs me that if it is in Nicky's best interest- which it is- I can take custody, which will be all too easy. You know I have the money and the resources. I have contacts with the majority of the judges on the bench, and once I prove that you are an unfit mother and a danger to your child, they'll grant me custody without a second thought."

Olivia shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "No. You can't," she said in disbelief, the words coming out softer than she had intended for them. She allowed a lone tear to fall unchecked down her face.

Rose stood to face her. "I can and I will. He's my grandson."

"Well he's _my_ son!"

"I understand that, bu-"

"No! No but's! He is my son! I created him! I'm the one who carried him inside me for nine moths! I'm the one that was in labor with him for ten hours! I gave birth to him! I'm the one who sits up with him night after night, and will continue to do so as long as he needs me to! I buy his clothes and bathe him and feed him with the milk _my_ body produces for _him_! I change his diapers! Heck I even buy his diapers along with anything else he wants or needs. I'm his mother! Me! So get that through your fucking head. And you will not be taking my son." Olivia picked up Nick's car seat and slung his baby bag over her shoulder. Rose began to say something but before she could get her words out Olivia spoke again. "NO, that's not a threat. It's a promise," and with that Olivia stormed out of the hotel room.

Thanks for reading. Please Review:)


	17. Revelations

**Here is a little early Thanksgiving Present for you all since I won't be around to give it to on Turkey day. Thanks for all the reviews. You are all awesome. About 99.9 of you called Rose a bitch. LOL. :D Well here's more to the story enjoy. ;) **

Stabler Residence

Manhattan, NY 

December 11th

Olivia stood outside of Elliot's apartment trying to gain her composure. She would not cry in front of him. She would not ruin the one day he got to spend with his kids. She listened to the goings-on on the other side of his door. His children were as loud and rambunctious as ever. She wiped away the tears that were trailing down her face and looked over at Nicky, who was content with being in his mother's arms. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door and prayed to God that she didn't turn into the blubbering mess that she had been on the way over there.

Driving over there had been quite a task. At first the tears only leaked from her eyes, but once they had begun to blur her vision she had pulled over to the side and had herself a good cry. She cried and sobbed out loud like she never had before. Once she had gotten her emotions under control she had driven herself to Elliot's

She heard footsteps heading towards the door followed by an "Olivia!" coming from Maureen.

"Hi Maureen," she leaned forward and hugged her awkwardly so that she didn't squeeze Nicky in the process. Maureen stepped back and allowed Olivia to step into the cluttered apartment.

"He's so cute. Can I hold him?" Maureen asked.

Olivia turned and smiled at Nicky who seemed to be a bit confused at all the excitement that was going on in the apartment. "Sure," she replied.

"I'm going to head into the living room."

"Ok." Olivia watched as the young woman headed back into the living room carrying her son and listened in.

"Hey, guys look who's here."

"Oh my God,"

Olivia smiled when she heard all the happy squeals of Elliot's children. She walked in to find them all crowded around Maureen and Nicky, him grinning happily back at them. Elliot came out and greeted Nicky with a kiss on the forehead then turned and headed towards Olivia.

"Hey," he said coming dangerously close to her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Hey," she answered quietly.

"I missed you."

"El, your kids."

"Are preoccupied right now. I think we can sneak in one kiss."

"'K," she said before sealing her lips to his. A pleasant warmth spread over her. She needed this, she needed him to make the horrible morning she just had go away, but the kiss was short lived. He quickly pulled away from her not wanting one of the kids to catch them in the act. He moved to stand beside her instead and watched his kids play with her son.

"Olivia!" Lizzie exclaimed. She headed over to her and hugged her tightly.

"Hey Liz, how've you been?"

"Ok,"

"Liv," Kathleen exclaimed.

"Olivia," Dickie said before following his sister to her and heading over to hug Olivia. Olivia hugged both Dickie and Kathleen.

"Didn't see you here," said Kathleen.

"Get used to that. After the baby comes everybody seems to forget about the mommy," said Elliot.

"That's comforting," Olivia said forcing a smile.

Elliot noticed this, but decided not to bring it up in front of his children. "So are you guys ready to go?"

"No," Dickie answered.

"Well then get ready. We're leaving in two minutes!"

That sent his kids scattering in four different directions. Once they were out of sight he turned back to her. "You ok?"

She sighed. "I'm…"

They were interrupted by what Elliot knew as the constant bickering between siblings. "'Scuse me," he said before heading toward the spare bedroom. "What's going on in here?"

"She won't let anybody else hold him," Kathleen complained.

"Yea, she's being a baby hog," Lizzie agreed.

"Well if guys weren't so lazy and had opened the door when dad told you to maybe one of you would be holding him instead," Maureen argued.

"That's not fair!" Dickie whined.

"Yea!" Kathleen agreed and once again the bickering began.

"Ok, Ok, I'll settle this." Elliot said walking over to where Maureen stood. He took Nicky from her and turned to face him all. "Until you guys can stop fighting over him, well, stop fighting in general, I'll take him, now let's go."

He walked out of the room and heard their moans and groans followed by more bickering. "I still hear fighting," Elliot said as headed back to Olivia.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

"A small pub couple blocks from here. We can walk unless you think it's too cold. In that case we can just drive."

"No, we can walk. Just make sure his hat and gloves are on."

"'K," he said adjusting Nicky's hat and pulling the mittens that hung from his jacket onto his hands "Liv…" Once again his rambunctious children interrupted him.

"Ready," Kathleen stated. "Daddy I promise we won't fight over him, can I hold him please?"

Elliot glanced at Olivia and she nodded slightly. "Fine." He leaned over and handed her the baby. "Now, out the door."

Dickie came in behind her. "Aww man! I wanted to hold him."

"I promise everybody will get a chance. Now go," Elliot told him once he had successfully slipped the baby bag from Olivia's shoulder and onto his son's.

"Maureen! Lizzie! Let's go!"

"Coming!" Both girls called back.

"If you don't make an appearance soon, you won't be coming anywhere now let's go!" Olivia stood back and watched with a small smile on her face the dynamic between Elliot and his children. A few seconds later Maureen and Lizzie made their appearance.

"Where's Nicky?" Maureen asked.

"Kathleen has him if there's anymore fighting over him, none of you will hold him. Now out," he said pointing towards the door.

The two girls hurried through the door, followed by Olivia and finally Elliot. Once in the hallway Olivia stayed and waited for Elliot to lock the door, while the girls continued down the hall.

Once he had the door locked Olivia began to stroll down the hall, but Elliot stopped her with a gently grip on her arm. "Liv, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I-I-"

"Dad! Let's go!"

"We'll talk about this later," he said firmly, placing his hand at the small of her back and leading her silently down the hallway.

Monroe's Restaurant and Pub

Manhattan, NY

During the hour the mixed family had been at the local restaurant Olivia had managed to perk up a bit. She did not want to drag Elliot and his family with her into her sea of melancholy. She, Maureen, and Elliot sat at their own table while Nicky and the rest of Elliot's kids sat at their own. The restaurant had been too busy to house them all at one table, but they took what they could get. Olivia glanced at the table across from them, where the children were sitting. Nicky was currently in Lizzie's lap. He had been passed around quite a bit between Elliot and his children, but he seemed to be enjoying it. At the moment Dickie was making faces at him, and she smiled at the smile her son had on his face.

Elliot's phone began to ring. "'Scuse me," he said standing. He grabbed one of her many uneaten chicken fingers, as he stepped out of the crowded restaurant momentarily.

"Not hungry?" Maureen asked.

"Hm. Oh, no. I had a big breakfast at home."

"Oh. Liv do you know if dad's seeing someone?"

Olivia was startled for a moment, but quickly gained back her composure. "What makes you ask that?"

"Well I came by this morning before mom dropped the twins and Kathleen off and he wasn't there. It was pretty early for him to be up on a Saturday morning."

"Maybe he wanted to do something before you guys came over. Pick up some groceries or something."

"Yea, but he had no bags."

"Well I don't know Maureen. He hasn't said anything to me so I don't really know. Would it bother you if he was?"

"I don't know. Mom's moved on, so why not he? I just want him to be happy, but I don't know if there's a woman that can do that for him. Well besides you of course."

Olivia startled again. "Me? Why me?"

"I see the way he looks at you, Liv. Whenever someone talks about you his face lights up. You make him happy."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I thought you should know."

The two sat in a semi awkward silence until Olivia spoke again. "So how's school?"

"Fine."

"What's your major?"

"Early childhood development."

"Sounds interesting. What do you want to be?"

"A teacher."

"Nice. Enjoying your college days?"

"Yea, I guess."

"That doesn't sound very reassuring."

"It's just… never mind."

"No, what?"

"My roommate is moving in with her boyfriend."

"Ok, and?"

"Well I can't afford rent on my own, and I don't want to bother mom or dad for help. I promised them that after my first year of college I would be on my own."

"Your dad wouldn't mind helping you out."

"I know, but still."

"What about a dorm, or a called a sorority house or something?"

"There's no privacy in a dorm and they cost more than my apartment. And sororities at my school are more like brothels than anything else. Besides that it would have to be over my father's dead body."

Olivia chuckled. "That may be true. So it looks like you got yourself into a bit of a predicament there."

"Yea. I've been looking for something cheaper, and decent, but it's like looking for a needle in a haystack."

"I know the feeling." They both sat quietly for a moment, trying to figure out a way to help out the young woman. "How about you move in with me. I have an extra room that you can have, it used to be Nick's office, but it's pretty big."

"Really? I could move in with you?"

"Sure. As long as you don't mind a crying baby from time to time."

"No, I don't mind. But if we do this I want to pay my part. I don't want any hand outs."

"You don't need to pay for anything. I have all the bills covered. My condo is already paid for, so there isn't much. Just food and I have that covered too. Keep your money, I know what it's like to be a struggling college student, believe me."

"So I get free room and board and you get… nothing? C'mon Olivia let me get you something."

"No, I'm fine. Really Maureen."

"How 'bout Nicky."

"What about him?"

"You'll probably need a baby sitter or something. I can be his nanny. That way you can stop worrying about childcare after work. I have classes three times a week during the day, but afterwards I'm free as a bird. I can pick him up and take care of him whenever you want."

"Maureen I don-"

"Please Olivia let me do something, you're doing so much already, please…"

"Fine. You can be his nanny, but let me pay you something."

"Nope. I waitress two days a week and I come away pretty decent with tips."

"Ok."

"So deal?" Maureen asked holding out her hand.

"Deal." Olivia said shaking it.

"Deal on what?" Elliot asked taking his seat back next to Olivia.

"Maureen's going to be my new nanny."

Elliot looked between the two. "Really? That's great." He glanced back Olivia and exchanged a million words through silence. He nodded and she nodded back understanding his approval and his gratitude.

"So was that work?" Olivia asked.

"Yea, but I told Cragen that I was with the kids so he's calling Munch and Fin. Oh yea and your mother called," he said turning his attention back to Maureen. "She's coming for you guys a bit earlier than she had expected so let's go."

"Ok," Maureen replied, gathering up her things.

"Guys put on Nicky's coat and things," he called to his kids. "I'm gonna go pay the bill," he told Olivia.

"Alright let me come with you."

"No I got it covered. Meet me outside."

A few minutes later Olivia and the kids met Elliot outside as planned. Dickie was now carrying Nicky. Kathleen and Lizzie were on either side of him with Maureen just behind him, not enough room for her to walk in the row with them. All three were doing their best to entertain Nicky and keep him happy and the smile on his face warmed Olivia's heart.

She couldn't imagine living her life without him. Waking up and not seeing his smiling face everyday. Not being there to soothe him when he cried. Not being there to hear his first words or see him take his first steps. Going to his first day of kindergarten, seeing him graduate high school or college, but most of all she couldn't imagine not knowing his love or him not knowing hers.

A lone tear slid steadily down her face, and Elliot turned his attention to her just in time to it fall and dissipate into the cool pavement.

"Liv what's wrong?"

Her face fell as her face crumpled and the sobs came. "Maureen, follow the kids back to the apartment. We'll meet you there in a sec," He said tossing her his keys.

"Dad what's wrong?" she asked, but no answer was needed, Olivia's face said it all.

She nodded wordlessly and walked quickly to catch up with her siblings.

Elliot took Olivia's elbow and led her into a nearby alley. He leaned her against a brick wall and stood in front of her "Liv, tell me what's wrong."

Olivia sniffed and swiped her hand over her flushed face to brush away her tears before folding her arms across her chest. "She… she wants him. She wants to take him from me."

Elliot looked at her slightly confused. "Who? Who, Liv?"

"Nicky." She wailed as if it were obvious.

Hearing the name shocked him and stopped his heart all at the same time. "Who wants to take him Liv?" he asked dreading the answer.

"Rose," she sobbed and broke out into a fit of tears. He circled her in his arms and cradled her head lovingly to his chest. He held her and rocked her gently as the tears continued to spill over her eyelids and the sobs continued to come. "She's going to take him," she sobbed. "She's going to him. She has the money and the resources and the-"

He pushed back away from her and starred at her dead on without a hint of doubt in his eyes. "No. Don't think like that. We're going to fight for him, Liv. She won't take him. It will have to be over both of our dead bodies. Look at me, Liv." She tilted her head up to look into his deep blue eyes. "She will not take him," he said slowly. "Even if we have to take him and run to Canada, I promise she will not. Take. Him." This last part put a smile on her face.

"Thank you," She said wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him close.

"Now after Kathy picks up the kids we'll go see Casey, and find out if there is a lawyer she can recommend."

She nodded. "'K."

He kissed her sweetly and held her close. "Everything is going to be ok, Liv. Everything is going to be ok."

Casey Novak's Office

Manhattan, NY

Olivia cradled a sleeping Nicky to her chest and inhaled his sweet baby scent and allowed it to soothe her as she and Elliot headed towards Casey's office. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, letting her know that he was there to support her in anyway he possible could. They reached Casey's office and he knocked on her door and waited for her to answer. At her reply he opened the door and held it open for Olivia to walk through before closing it behind him.

"Hey, guys what brings you all here?" Casey asked cheerily. She glanced at the sleeping baby in Olivia's arms. "Awwww, he's so cute. He's gotten so big since I last saw him." Olivia gave her a soft smile and simply nodded. Casey looked between the two and noticed both of their grim expressions. "Who died?" she asked jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

"We need to ask your advice on something," Elliot answered.

"Ok, shoot," she replied seriously. She could tell something obviously wasn't right with them.

Elliot looked at Olivia expecting her to speak, but she simply looked down at Nicky and kissed his forehead. "We need your help in finding a lawyer."

"What? Why? Did something happen?"

"Somebody is trying to take my son," Olivia stated.

"What? Who?"

"His grandmother," she answered.

Casey nodded. She knew of Rose and whom she affiliated herself with. Their company she now ran was very well known and she had heard a great deal about it. "Laura Scarry," she answered without a hint of doubt in her mind. "I think she still takes pro-bono cases, but she's the best."

"Money is not a problem," Olivia answered. "Do you have her number?"

Casey shuffled through her Rolodex, which contained addresses and numbers of people she had come in contact with and removed the card she was looking for and handed it to Olivia.

"Thank you," she said, recovering the card.

"It's no problem, if you have any problems let me know, there's plenty more where that came from, and I'm behind you one-hundred percent of the way."

"I know, and thanks again," she said standing. "I'll see you later," she said as she headed for the door.

"Yea, later." Casey replied.

Elliot stood and began to head for the door. "Thanks Casey, and I'll see you too."

"Yea," Casey smiled. "See you later."

Thanks for reading. Please Review:)


	18. Fight

**Yea, Sorry for the delay again. School is kicking my ass and making this so hard to do. I'm doing my best I hope you understand. I promise, after December, we will have at least 1 update a week. Maybe even 2. So bare with me for now. Please:)**

Benson Residence

December 12th

Elliot sat on Olivia's couch with Nicky standing in his lap, bouncing up and down happily. He smiled at him with a toothless grin and bright eyes that stole Elliot's heart. As Elliot smiled back at the happy baby and made faces that caused Nicky to giggle, he couldn't imagine not hearing that laugh a year or six months from then. Elliot wanted to see him grow up just as much as he wanted to see the rest of his kids grow up.

"Hey, let's go get ready for bed, and then go find Mommy," Elliot said to the young child. "How does that sound? Good?" Nicky answered him with a squeal and more jumping. "I'll take that as a yes."

Elliot stood and walked into Nicky's room and went straight for one of drawers in there. He pulled out a warm fleeced onesie then laid Nicky on the changing table. After changing Nicky's diaper and dressing him in the onesie Elliot picked Nicky up and proceeded to the dinning room where he knew Olivia was. He walked in to see her hunched over reading through files and looking completely frazzled. It was like deja vu all over again. With the papers spread all over the table, it reminded him of the time he came over not too long ago and found her pretty much the same way.

"Liv," he called. She didn't answer, but continued to read through the paper she was currently looking at. "Liv," he tried again.

"Just a minute," she replied holding up one finger. He walked over and gently took the paper out of her hand and placed it on the table. "What the-" she said angrily, but stopped when she saw Nicky in his arms. She didn't want to scare him with her temper and insecurities. "I just need five more minutes."

"Liv, you've been at this for hours now. It's time to take a break."

"I know bu-"

"Take a break. Spend some time with your son."

She looked up at Nicky and smiled, he smiled back at her. "Ba!" He squawked at her.

That did it for her. "Ok," she acquiesced. She stacked her papers and stood to face Elliot. Nicky leaned out of Elliot's arms and reached for her. She smiled and took him from Elliot, kissing his cheek before she settled him against her shoulder. Nicky curled his hand into a small fist, and stuck his thumb in his mouth before lying on Olivia's shoulder. "Tired baby?" she asked as she kissed the silky strands of his dark brown hair at the same time inhaling the scent of his Johnson's baby shampoo.

"C'mon," Elliot said as he put his hand on the small of her back and guided her to walk in front of him. He followed behind her and turned off the light behind him as they made their way back to the living room. He sat in the corner of her couch and she sat in between his legs, rested her head against his shoulder as she leaned against him. They lay together quietly; Olivia gently massaging Nicky's back while Elliot massaged the back of her head, fully aware of the headache that was there.

"So what were you doing in there?" he asked.

"Just checking some things. I was going over the papers that I signed after Nick's death. Making sure that I didn't sign anything that would come back and bite me in the ass."

"Can she take away your inheritance?"

"No. I called the lawyer that we worked with before. He said that everything was final. He also informed me that Rose called to ask him the very same question, makes me regret letting her run Nick's company." she finished distastefully.

"What?"

"It's Nicky's, but she is in charge of running it until he turns eighteen. It was left for me to run, but what do I know about running a company? I just wish I saw all this coming."

"Liv."

"I just… I don't believe her. I can't believe she would actually do this."

Elliot nodded. They had come home the night before to find one Rose's henchmen waiting at Olivia's door. Elliot had gone ahead to talk to him and make sure everything was safe for Olivia and Nicky, and that's when he had seen the blue parchment in his hand. Elliot had stepped away and allowed him to serve Olivia with the papers. He watched helplessly as Olivia's face crumpled and fell upon receiving them, the reality of what was happening setting in. Before the papers, Rose fighting for custody had only been a possibility. Now it was fact. He had brought her into her condo and all three of them slept together in her large King sized bed. He knew she didn't want to be far away from Nicky at that point in time and he wanted to be there for her in case she needed anything.

"Is he sleeping?" Olivia asked Elliot.

He glanced down at Nicky, who was desperately fighting to stay awake, but seemed to be loosing the battle. "He's going."

"'K, I'll be right back." She got up off the couch and went into Nicky's room. She kissed Nicky's neck then laid him down in his crib and covered him with his warm Pooh blanket. She took a moment and looked down at him, still fighting the sleep. His blue eyes opening then shutting only to open and then shut back again. She reached over and took his pacifier off the top of his drawers and gave it to him. She kissed his forehead and whispered 'I love you' to him before turning up the heat and taking up the baby monitor and turning on the one that remained in his room. She walked back out into the living room and this time sat beside Elliot instead of lying against him.

"He go down okay?" Elliot asked.

"Yup."

They sat there in relative silence Elliot watching her, and seeing her mind reeling with her thoughts and emotions. "Talk to me."

She looked at him, her eyes begging for some kind guidance. "I'm scared."

"Liv,"

"No Elliot I'm really scared."

"Of what Liv? You have nothing to be afraid of. We're going to beat this."

"How can you be so positive?"

"How can you not?"

"Because Elliot, let's face the facts. I'm a single mother with a dangerous job that requires long hectic hours, and she is a prominent member of society with friends on the bench that will most likely be judging my case. The odds are stacked up against me. I'm not even sure if going through all this is even worth it."

"How can you say that?" Elliot asked incredulously. "He's your son!" He couldn't help but feel angered at her words, but knew that she was fragile and just voicing her insecurities.

"Elliot they are going to put me through complete hell, and I might lose him anyway. I might rack my mind and my body and cry and scream and through all this shit and I still might lose my son, and I'm just can't help but wonder if it would be better for me to just give him to her."

"Liv, can you hear what you're saying? This- this is bull shit."

"Elliot you don't understand. If she wins custody I may never see him again, but if I give him up willingly, she said I will be able to see him whenever I want," she said with tears pouring from her eyes.

"And what if she changes her mind? Then you've lost him anyways."

"Exactly! Either way I lose!" She said throwing her hands up in frustration. "I can't loose him, El." He pulled her to him and held her in a tight embrace as she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Liv, I know you're scared and I know you feel like your gambling with your son's life, but you have to fight for him, it's worth the risk. You can't just let her win, because even if she does one day he's going to ask about you, and he'd want to know that you fought like hell to keep her from taking him from you. You have to fight, baby. You have to fight."

She nodded and pulled away from him and looked up at him with pure assurance in her eyes. "I have to fight. I'm going to fight for him."

"Good. Did you hear from Scarry?"

"Yea, she said she'd take my case. I sent her the papers and she said that the claim is pretty faulty, but considering who we're fighting. It's going to be a tough battle."

"Then we'll fight it together."

She shook her head. "No we can't."

Elliot looked at her confused. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Rose is going to poke and prod through every private detail of my life, she is going to try and make that judge think that I am no better than the scum that we put away and I don't want her doing that to you."

"So you want to break up?" His heart was beating dangerously hard inside his chest at the fear of the thought of loosing her, of loosing them.

"No, but I don't want her dragging you through the mud along with me. You have your own family and your own kids-"

"You don't think you're family to me? You don't think I love that little boy in there like my own son!" he exclaimed pointing towards Nicky's door. "If that's what you think then-"

"I do know you, and please keep your voice down. I know that you would jump through fire for me and Nicky, but I can't let you do that."

He took both her hands in his and kissed her knuckles. "Liv, I love you. Please let me be here for you. I want to get dragged through the mud with you." He smiled at her, but tears were in his eyes. "Please Liv, don't push me away. Let me be here for you. Please."

She leaned over and kissed him soundly on the lips. "Come to bed with me?"

He nodded. "Go get ready, I'll lock up." She kissed him once more then stood and walked to her bedroom. He checked the locks on her door then walked into her bedroom just as she was exiting the bathroom.

"I left you a tooth brush."

He nodded and went and brushed his teeth. When he stepped out Olivia was already in bed, with his side turned down. He stripped down to his boxers then slid in next to her. He spooned himself up behind her and wrapped his hand around her waist. "G'night, Liv."

She covered his hand with hers and slid it underneath the bottom of her tank top "G'night, El."

Thanks for reading. Please Review:)


	19. Fight II

**Ok. SO here's what happened. I got really really really busy. I had college apps. I had to do them, and then all my teachers decided to give big huge major projects in December, so I was doing that. I didn't have a break until Christmas Vaca, and I had every intention of updating as a Christmas gift, but I was staying at my cousin's for the holiday, and brought the story with me to find out…THEY DON"T HAVE MICROSOFT WORD. I mean what Windows PC doesn't have word. Even some MACs have it. Anyways after that-I'm not gonna lie. I forgot. SO as my way of hopefully making it up to you. I have mondo chapters to give you. Just let me know when you're ready for them. ;) **

Court House

Manhattan, NY 

January 24th

Six weeks later Olivia sat in the defendant's chair on the left side of the Manhattan Courthouse she had often frequented. It felt strange to her, being in the same chair that so many of the perps she had caught and arrested had been in. She couldn't help but feel that maybe it was because of Karma that she would be seated in that same chair, yet couldn't understand what she had done to receive such treatment. It was her father that deserved to be in that chair, and she was paying for his sins, and wondered just how long she would have to continue to do so.

Behind her sat her entire support team. Her family; Cragen, John, Fin, Casey, Melinda, Haung, Elliot and his kids occupied two of the pews that sat behind her. Having them so close to her gave her courage, and having Elliot with her gave her strength.

Elliot had been with her throughout the entire horrific process. First the case was moved up several times, no doubt Rose's doing. She knew Rose couldn't wait to sink her claws into her son, but refused to give her the satisfaction. Just as she had predicted, Rose had dragged her through the mud, but to her relief she had left Elliot untouched. Olivia was forced to meet with social workers and forced to comply when they asked to search her apartment. Rose had dug through every hidden and private detail of her life and had already used the information she found against her, but Scarry was her knight in shinning armor. As she cross-examined every witness the defense had brought up to the stand, she shot down every decent point Rose's lawyer had brought up.

They were currently on the second day of her trial, and it was driving Olivia insane, but she sat calm and collected in the defendant's chair in her pinstriped dark brown and amber dress pants suit. More than anything she just wanted to be at home, snuggled up on the couch with Nicky and Elliot, and Maureen, who had moved in as planned. Who had moved in as planned. The young woman had settled in quickly and had already begun to form her own relationship with Nicky. It seemed to Olivia that practically everybody she knew had been drawn into this mess. Cragen, John, Fin, and Casey had all been called up to testify against her. What Rose had yet to realize was they were her family, and that they had her back all the time. Cragen had insisted that she was a good cop, despite her run-ins with IAB. Fin and John had kept their answers short and to the point with 'yes' or 'no' answers, and she had known it was difficult for John to do that, but it was for her and she knew he would do anything for her.

The trial was taking longer than she had expected. She figured it would take a day and then it would be over and she would know whether or not if she could keep her son. She had prepared herself mentally, physically, and emotionally for this day, only to find out that she would only have to go home to start the process all over again. Today it would end. Today she would know whether or not she could go home and kiss her son goodnight every night for at least the next eighteen years. If she would see him play in his first little league game, or watch him get dressed for his first date. Everything came down to today and she was more than anxious to get the day over with.

Maureen was called to the stand and the young woman stood and walked over to take her seat at the bench. Olivia hated the fact that she had to be dragged into this mess, but Maureen had already assured her that she was willing to do anything to help her.

"Can you please state your name for the record?" the clerk asked.

"Maureen Stabler."

"Thank you," the clerk replied.

The judge gave the go ahead and Mrs. Daniels lawyer, Lana Sparks, began. "Ms. Stabler, how did you come to meet Detective Benson?"

"Olivia has been my father's partner for the last seven years."

"And you're currently living with her, correct?"

"Yes."

"And she's trusted you to be her son's nanny?"

"Yes."

"Ms. Stabler have you had any child care experience."

"Other than helping out my mother with my siblings, two of which are twins, no. But I'm currently going to school be an early education teacher.

"So Ms. Benson is allowing you to use her son as your personal guinea pig, Am I correct?"

"No, because I've also been babysitting since the age of thirteen. In fact I am a certified _professional_ baby sitter. I personally take offense to you referring to Nicky as an animal, so I'm pretty sure that it would be best to refrain from that. Ms. Sparks looked behind from the look Rose gave her, she seemed to agree.

"Sorry. Now since you are so experienced you would know what to do in case of an emergency, are familiar with the common viruses children tend to pick up."

"I am. Oh and I forgot to mention that I'm also CPR certified so I'm pretty well trained if that makes you feel any better."

Ms. Sparks gave her a harsh look clearly aggravated with the young woman. "Ms. Stabler are you familiar with a virus called Rhinovirus?"

"I can't say that I am."

"So if the child- "

"The child has a name."

"Sorry, Nicolas- "

"It's Nicky."

"His birth certificate says-"

"But he wouldn't respond to that."

"Fine." Ms. Sparks replied a bit forcefully, while Maureen sat at the bench with a smug grin on her face, one that matched her father's. He couldn't have been more proud of her. "Fine," Ms. Sparks restarted. "So, if Nicky presented with these symptoms, potentially life threatening symptoms, you would not know what to do."

"It depends."

"Depends on what?"

"What are the symptoms?"

"Well there's nausea and diarrhea for starters, there's also-"

"Well that's clearly obvious. If Nicky was that sick I would call his mother and see what I could for him"

"And what if Detective Benson was unreachable at the time."

"Olivia is always reachable when it comes to her son. She has always made herself available for him, and even if she is not able to talk to me at the time, she always calls me back within the next five minutes so I have nothing to worry about."

"Well let's just say hypothetically, Detective Benson can't be reached for some odd reason or another. What will you do then?"

"If what I'm doing to help him is making him no better or worse, I will then take him to the hospital. It's common sense and if you had any you would know that, and you wouldn't be standing there and asked me stupid questions."

Ms. Sparks pursed her firm red lips before stating, "No further questions."

Mrs. Scarry stepped up and approached Maureen. "So you think Olivia is a good mother?"

"Yes."

"Have you heard or seen Detective Benson do anything to suggest otherwise?"

"No."

"Thank you. No further questions." Maureen stood and went back to her original seat beside her father.

"Very well, Ms. Sparks you next witness please," The judge spoke.

"Your honor we call Detective Stabler to the stand."

Elliot stood and handed Nicky over to Maureen before heading to the stand. He placed a reassuring hand on Olivia's shoulder as he passed by and she covered it with her own before he passed her by. He took his seat and stated his name before Ms. Sparks began her questioning.

"Detective Stabler, you're Detective Benson's partner correct?"

"Correct."

"And how long have you two been working together?"

"For about seven years."

"Seven years," Ms. Sparks responded impressed. "That's a long time. So you know Detective Benson pretty well, don't you?"

"That I do."

"Do you think Detective Benson's past has anything to do with how she approaches her job?"

"No, I don't. I think it's the person she is that makes her the great cop that she is." He made eye contact with Olivia and both shared a heartfelt smile.

"Do you feel Detective Benson will be able to properly raise a child due to the environment she was raised in?"

"I have no clue what you are talking about."

"Well Detective Benson was abused as a child, and you as a SVU detective know the statistics and that an abused child is more likely to abuse their own child."

"That I do know, but I've seen Olivia with children. I've seen her with Nicky and she's been nothing short of and excellent mother."

"Detective Stabler do you know whether or not Detective Benson brings her gun home?"

"Yes."

"Does she?"

"Yes."

"Do you feel that that's smart? Bringing home a gun with such a young child in the house?"

"Yes, Olivia needs to be able to protect herself and Nicky, and having a gun helps her do that. Besides that it is also protocol for a cop to bring home their duty weapon."

"Protect herself. Is there a specific reason why Detective Benson would have to protect herself?"

"Well yes. She's a cop in one of the most dangerous cities in America."

"Oh so then wouldn't it be better for Nicky to live in an environment that's safer for him?"

"No, not if it would mean him being away from his mother."

"So then Detective Benson should relocate to an environment and obtain a job that's safer for her and her son?"

"No, she shouldn't. Olivia can protect herself, and her son. She's been living here for years and she does live in a safe environment. There is no reason that she should have to leave."

"Dective Stabler you have children don't you?"

"I do."

"And where do they live?"

"Queens."

"Why is that when you work in Manhattan?"

"Because that's where my ex-wife lives."

"Yes, but at one point didn't you live with them?"

"Yes."

"So why did you live in Queens and not Manhattan."

"Because that was our first home, and it was where my ex-wife wanted to live. We were living there before I started working SVU, and this isn't about my life or me. Now do you have any other questions?"

"Yes. Why didn't you ever move?"

"Because we couldn't afford it. Are you done?"

"No, I heard you spend a lot of time at Detective Benson's house."

"I do."

"Why is that?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but Liv, and I are partners so we used to do things together after work, but since she has Nicky she needs to spend time with him, which means she can't go out anymore so I meet her half way. Besides that my daughter lives there now and I like to see her every now and then along with Nicky, and the last time I checked, that wasn't a crime, or is it?" Elliot had mentally prepared himself for every question that may have came his way. He refused to be the one that ruined this case for Olivia.

"Excuse me, but the last time I checked I was asking the questions."

"Well, next time ask decent questions. In fact, forget this because this is all fucked up. Liv is a great mother and there's no reason for her to have to be going through all this. She hasn't done anything to hurt Nicky and she's sacrificed a lot for him as would any other mother would. Now are you done?"

"Yes. No further questions."

"No questions from the defense." Scarry spoke.

"You may step down Detective Stabler, and another outburst like that and you'll be held in contempt," said the judge.

"Your honor we now bring Ms. Rose Daniels to the stand." Rose stood and approached the stand and once she was seated and stated her name the questioning began.

"Mrs. Daniels how can you care for Nicolas?"

"I have money that was left to me by my ex-husband, which is more than enough to properly care for Nicolas and myself."

"What else?"

"I have a nice home in the suburbs in a nice neighborhood where he can play and make friends. There's great schools and I can provide him with anything he might want or need."

"Are you in good health?"

"Yes, my doctor says I'm perfectly healthy and I eat healthy and exercise, so I plan to stay that way."

"Thank you, no further questions."

Scarry stood and approached the bench. "Ms. Daniels why do you want custody of your grandson?"

"Because I feel I can provide the best home for him."

"The best home? What exactly is that?"

"It's a place where Nicolas can be loved and properly cared for. Where he is safe and has everything he needs."

"Isn't that what he has with Ms. Benson?"

"No, her job and her lifestyle posses a risk to Nicolas."

"Ms. Daniels you say that the city is not the rights place to raise a child. How is this true when you raised your own son in the city?"

"I did raise my son in the city, but that was because I had no other choice. We had no money and living in the city was cheaper than living in the suburbs. If I had had the choice we would have stayed where we were, in the suburbs."

"You claim that the city is no place to raise a child and that it's too dangerous for Nicky, but if that's the case then why do children live in the city now? No place is completely safe, even the suburbs where you live has violence, and Nicky lives with a police officer- in fact he's surrounded by them- so what makes where you live so much safer than where he is now?"

"Because this city is full of violence! Violence that she deals with from day to day! Violence that took away my son!"

"So you feel that your son was taken away from you?"

"Yes he was."

"Did it hurt? Did hurt for you to lose your one and only son."

"Of course it did."

"Then how can you do the same to her?" Scarry asked as she backed away and gestured towards Olivia so that Rose could see her. "She loved your son and did nothing to hurt him. She gave your son his son. So how can you hurt her the same way that drunk driver hurt you by taking away her son?"

"I have to do what's best for my grandson."

"And you think that taking him from his mother is best for him. Would your son have been better without you?"

"No."

"Then how can you take Nicky from his mother? How can taking him be best for him? Do you think taking from his mother is best for him?"

"Yes! I mean no."

"Well which is it?"

"I don't feel him being away from Olivia is what's best for him, but I don't feel him being raised in the city is any better. She refuses to change her life for him, therefore she doesn't deserve him."

"How do you know what Olivia has and has not changed? Just because she refuses to leave her home? A home she and your son purchased-together, mind you-and because she refuses to give up her job? Do you feel that all cops should give up their children?"

"No."

"Then why her? Of all the cops of the NYPD dedicated to keeping you safe should she have to give up her son?"

"I… don't know," Rose finished, avoiding eye contact. "But my son didn't want his son raised here either."

"And how do you know that?"

"We talked about it and I was trying to convince him to move."

Scarry looked back at Olivia and could tell that this was the first she was hearing about this too. "So you didn't know for sure?"

"No."

"So for all you know he could've just been telling you what you wanted to hear." Rose was silent. "Why were you trying to convince him?"

"Because I wanted him close to me. I felt like I was losing him when he started a family of his own."

"So you just want little Nicky here because he reminds you of your son and is the closest thing to being your son, Nick, isn't that true?"

"Yes."

"You don't care what this does to him. You just want your son back and don't care who you have to step on or who you hurt to get what you want, even if it means hurting him."

"Objection!" Ms. Daniels lawyer called.

Ms. Scarry ignored the call and continued. "Do you think your son would want you to take Nicky from Olivia?"

"He would want me to do what's best for my grandson."

"That wasn't the question. I'll rephrase. Would your son want you to take Nicky away from Olivia?"

"No."

"Then why? Why would you go through all this? Why would you put her, yourself, and everyone else you dragged into this through this?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because he's the only thing that I have left."

Scarry nodded before turning her attention to the judge. "No further questions your honor."

"You may step down Ms. Daniels," the judge said.

Scarry continued. "Your honor I call Detective Olivia Benson to the stand." Olivia walked up and quickly stated her name. She wanted all this over with. She just wanted to be at home with her son. That was all that mattered to her, her son.

"Detective Benson tell me how you care for your son on a normal day."

"Well I get up and feed him, dress him, then take him to daycare. I go to work then afterwards I head home since Maureen picks him up now. Once I'm home I spend time with him, bathe him, read to him, and kiss him goodnight before putting him to bed."

"And you do this everyday."

"Pretty much."

"Sounds like you really love him."

"I do. With all my heart."

"What have you had to give up for him?"

"A lot of things, but I do it and I'll do it forever because I love him."

"Things like what?"

"Well my coffee addiction for one. Alcohol, a good night's sleep, I don't go out with my friends much anymore, and a whole bunch of other little things."

"Detective Benson do you bring your gun home?"

"Yes."

"How do you keep your gun away from your son."

"I put it in it's holster with the safety on and I lock it away in a locked box on the top shelf in my closet."

"And you do this every night?"

"First thing after I kiss Nicky hello as soon as I got home from work. I've seen what could happen when a child gets a gun."

"Would you do anything to purposely harm your son or put him in any danger?"

"No. Never," she responded shaking her head.

"Thank you, no further questions." Scarry sat down and Olivia was then approached be Rose's lawyer.

"Detective Benson why do you have a gun at home?"

"For protection."

"How are you sure that your son can't get to it?"

"He just started crawling he can't pull himself upright let alone climb ten feet up and magically know the combination to the box to get to it, and he's never left unattended unless he's in his crib asleep."

"But sometimes accidents happen right?"

"Yes, but as you just said they're accidents."

"But sometimes accidents kill right?"

"Right."

"Then why would you still bring your gun home if you know that there is even a slight chance of Nicolas getting to it."

"It's, Nicky, and I do it because of the slight chance of a burglar getting pass my door man, the security guard, and my front door lock and chain to hurt me or my son."

"Ms. Benson you've been targeted by a few suspects haven't you?"

"Yes I have, but so have a lot of people."

"Yes, but a lot of people haven't put these pedophiles and murders in jail whose intent is revenge. Are you sure you can protect yourself and your son?"

"Yes I can, but a lot of people have testified and helped put those murderers and pedophiles in jail. Should we take away their children too?"

"What if you were shot? What would happen to your son?"

"He would go to Elliot, my partner." This shocked everyone.

"Why Elliot, and not Nicky's grandmother?"

"Don't you think this is reason enough? Elliot has already raised four great kids and I want my son raised on decent morals and principles, I don't want him to think that because he has money he can treat people any way he wants without any disregard to their feelings."

"What about Nicky's feelings?"

"I'm sorry?"

"How would it affect Nicky if you were shot?"

"How would it affect Nicky if you took him away from me?"

"You put your life and your son's life at risk without any regard to how it may be affecting him."

"I think about it every day. Don't you dare tell me that I don't think about him. There is not a day that goes by that I don't worry about him. Me getting shot would be an accident and accidents happen. I could die in a car crash for all you know and it would still affect him the same way. The same could happen to Rose. You can't stop the inevitable."

"You claim accidents happen, but don't you put your self in a position where these accidents are more likely to happen?"

"Yes I do. But if you take my son simply because I'm a cop then you might as well take away every other cop's kid as well, because I haven't done a thing to hurt him."

"Detective Benson would you give up your job to protect your son?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't you?"

"Because my son is safe. Me being a cop hasn't put him in any danger so far and if it does come to that point then I will quit my job and move as far away from here as I possibly can."

"If you were to give up your job how would you care for him?"

"Well I do have money that was left to me by his father and being a cop doesn't necessarily mean that I need to be out on the streets. They're plenty of other things I can do."

"Detective Benson are you currently seeing anyone?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"Objection! You're honor whomever Detective Benson is seeing is her business and not that of the court's. He isn't on trial here therefore there is no reason for him to be brought into this," objected Ms. Scarry.

"I agree," replied the judge. "Continue, Ms. Sparks."

"How do you date and work and still have time for your son?"

"We don't go out that often, just once a week."

"Detective Benson you send your son to daycare, yes?"

"Yes."

"How do you know this is a good daycare?"

"I haven't had any problems so far."

"How did you come to find this daycare? Did you just randomly pick it?"

"No."

"Did you pick it because it was close to your job?"

"No."

"Then how did you pick this daycare? This place that would be caring for your son on a daily basis. Did you come about to finding it? How did you choose this daycare?"

"I didn't choose it."

"Then who did?"

"Nick."

"Who?"

"Nick. Nicky's father."

"Nicolas' father died long before you had even given birth to him."

"I know that," Olivia seethed. "It was the way Nick was. He always planned ahead. He started looking for daycares the day we found out that Nicky was a boy, and the one I ended up choosing was the best that Nick could come up with."

The lawyer nodded. "Detective Benson do you love your son?"

"Do really need to ask?"

"Yes, now please answer the question."

"Yes, I love him with all my heart."

"And would you do what's best for him?"

"Yes."

"Even if it meant giving him up to his grandmother?"

Olivia paused for a second, wanting to give the allusion she had actually thought about it even though she already knew the answer. "Yes."

"No further questions. I rest my case your honor," the lawyer stated defeated by Olivia's answers. They were simple yet all the while truthful.

"Very well. You may step down Detective Benson. We will have a fifteen minute recess while I deliberate."

Olivia sat in relative silence along with the rest of the court. Her heart was racing a mile a minute and she couldn't help the overwhelming sense of fear she had. She found it hard to believe that this man had the power to take her son from her. Yet deep down inside she also knew that in some cases it was a good thing that the judge had so much power.

The fifteen minutes ticked away and Olivia found herself becoming more and more anxious. Elliot could see what was going on in her head and he rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, but Olivia was too distracted to notice. She began to worry when the fifteen minutes passed by and gradually became twenty then twenty-five. Finally the judge made his reappearance, and once they were seated Olivia's heart and nerves kicked into overdrive.

"I have carefully gone over the evidence brought before me today and I have to say that it is a wonderful thing to see that so many people care such a great deal about this child," the judge began. Ms. Scarry held out her hand to Olivia and she took it gratefully, and felt a bit of relief when her lawyer squeezed. "But as I was saying I have carefully gone over the evidence and after deliberating I have come to a decision that is best for the child. Both candidates can provide a stable home and environment, which is what's best for the child. The grandmother can stay home and provide a safe environment for the child while the mother's job brings the risk of danger into the child's life. Though she is the mother and she does have rights, it makes this case incredibly difficult. But I have no other choice rather than to award full and complete custody to…"

**You know what to do to get rid of this Icky cliffy. Thanks for reading. :)**


	20. Judgement

**Thanks for all the lovely reviews. More to come.**

Court House

Manhattan, NY

January 24th

"But I have no other choice rather than to award full and complete custody to the mothe Ms. Olivia Benson," announced the judge.

Olivia could scarcely believe her ears. She sighed and closed her eyes and held back the tears that threatened to spill over her eyelids.

"Miss. Benson I can clearly see how much you love your son. You have handled all of your responsibilities and as far as I can see you are taking excellent care of your son. Court is dismissed."

Everyone stood as the judge exited and once he was gone Olivia turned and hugged her lawyer before reaching for her son. Nicky reached back and she took him and held him close to her. She rocked slowly, lost in the moment with her son and forgetting about everybody else around her until she felt Elliot's hand on her shoulder.

"Let's go celebrate," he smiled.

"Yea lets."

He helped her and Nicky into their coats then wrapped an arm around her shoulders as he led them out of the courthouse. They made it outside and she was congratulated by all of her colleagues. They all turned and began to head down the steps when she heard someone call her name.

"Olivia! Wait!" Elliot, Munch, and Fin stepped up to try and block Rose from getting to her.

"It's ok guys. I can handle this." She handed Nicky to Elliot. "Can you get him settled? I'll be right there."

He glared at Rose before he nodded his head. "Sure."

Once they had all disappeared she turned her attention to Rose. "What do you want?" she asked coldly.

"Please. I'm sorry. I was just doing what I thought was best for him."

"Me being away from my son is never what's best for him. Now I want you to stay away from my son and me. I don't want to ever hear from you or see you unless it has anything to do with my son's company." She turned to leave when Rose called her back again.

"Olivia, please. Don't take him away from me. He's the only part of my son that I had left."

"Well I guess you should have thought about that before you tried to take him away from me."

With that Olivia turned on her heals and headed down the steps to her car, where Elliot was waiting for her. She got in and smiled as they shared a small kiss before they drove off to celebrate her victory.

**Thanks for reading. :)**


	21. Calm After The Storm

**I dedicate this to my fake sister. You know who you are.**

Stabler Residence

Manhattan, NY

January 26th

Elliot sat on his couch starring at his keys that were sitting on the coffee table in front of him. His eyes were focused on a certain key, the one that went with Olivia's condo. He wanted to go over there and see her, but he knew that she needed some time for her and her son. After the court hearing they all had gone out to dinner, and he hadn't heard from her since. Cragen had given her the next couple days off, and as he sat there he found himself missing her terribly.

He heard a knock at his door and stood to answer it. "Who is it?" he called.

"It's me." The voice answered back.

Elliot smiled and quickened his pace over to the door when he heard Olivia's voice on the other side of it. "Hey," he smiled when he opened the door.

"Hey," she replied back.

"Come in," he said stepping aside and allowing her to walk in.

She stepped through brushed a couple of snowflakes out of her hair. "it's snowing out?"

"Yea just started."

" Here, let me take your coat." She shrugged off her coat and handed it to him. Then she began removing her boots. "Liv, you don't have to do that."

"My shoes are wet and I don't want to mess up your floor," she replied stepping out of them.

"'K, you want something to drink?"

"No thanks I'm fine."

"Good," he replied taking her hand and pulling her flush against him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and accepted his kiss when he gave it to her, allowing him to slide his tongue into her mouth. "I missed you," he said once they pulled away.

"I missed you too," she replied back.

"Come, let's go sit." He took her hand and led her to his living room couch. He sat in the middle while she took the corner. "So where's Nicky."

"Home. I tucked him in about an hour ago."

"Did you have a nice few days with him?"

"Yea, this crawling thing is starting to become a hassle. I left him playing with his toys for a few seconds to answer the phone and I turn around and he's gone."

"Where'd you find him?"

"Underneath the table in the dining room."

"Wow. He's quick!"

"Yes he is."

"I remember the same thing happened to Kathy with Kathleen. It was right after I joined the force and she calls me completely freaked out that she lost her. So my partner and me run over there to find Kathleen fast asleep in one of the bottom cupboards with the pots and pans."

"That must have been adorable."

"She was. I kind of miss when they were that young. All dependent and everything. Now they're all grown and doing their own things."

"Don't talk like that. I don't want to think about Nicky getting older until it happens."

"Well it's gonna happen."

"That I do know, but I still don't want to think about it until it does."

"Ok. So what else has been going on?"

"Nothing. Rose has been calling non-stop. I think I might have to change my number."

"You really not going to let her see him anymore?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I mean I don't want to keep Nicky away from the other side of his family, but… I can't trust her anymore. I don't know that if I go over there she might kidnap him and flee the country or something."

"Liv, don't you think that's a bit extreme?"

"Maybe, but I also know that Rose doesn't give up that easily. She tried to break Nick and me up when we first started going out. She didn't think I was good enough for him, but Nick held his ground and eventually she came around."

"Sounds like a smart man. I know I definitely wouldn't give you up."

She smiled. "Thank you."

Elliot watched her become real quiet and thoughtful. "Liv, what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing. Just the whole court thing and how close I came to loosing him. I've been going over the whole thing in my head for days now and I can't help but think that some of what Rose's lawyer brought up were true."

"Liv, you can't-"

"Elliot let's face facts. Our jobs do bring a possibility of danger to our families."

"Liv, I've been doing this for years and-"

"Elliot you can't compare me to you. You had Kathy back then, and now it's just me. Besides that no one has ever really been after you and somehow I always manage to piss off the psychos. I mean what's to keep them from coming after me again? I don't know," she shook her head and looked down at her socked feet. "Sometimes I can't help but think that maybe he will be better off without me," she finished softly.

He reached over and tilted her head to look her in the eyes. "Liv, you're beautiful, loving, caring, and you're a great mom. Nicky is lucky to have you as a mother, and like I said before, a life without you isn't much of a life at all. He's lucky to have you and so am I."

"And deep down inside I know that, but what I can't understand is why I feel this way."

"Worry."

"What?"

"Worry. From the day they're born to the day you die you will forever worry about them. You will worry if you're being a good parent and if what you're doing for them is right. But you'll always have me to help you out and to answer your questions. So don't worry."

"I thought you just finfish saying that I will always worry."

"Stop being a smart ass you know what I mean."

"That I do. C'mere. I want to kiss you," she said stretching out a hand.

"Don't have to ask me twice."

He took her hand and pulled he till she sat across his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck and covered his mouth with hers. She nipped at his bottom lip until he opened his mouth up to her and allowed her to slide her tongue in to tangle with his. They continued until both were forced to break apart for oxygen. She rested forehead against his as they panted for air.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he panted back.

This time he kissed her and slid his tongue into her mouth as he pulled her closer to him. She shifted her position so that she straddled his lap. As they continued their kissing his hands began to trail their way up underneath her shirt to caress the soft skin of her back causing her to moan into his kiss. It was when she felt his erecting hard against her inner thigh that she broke the kiss and stood up. She stared at him then ran her fingers through her hair, as if thinking, questioning what she was about to do. He was about to apologize when she stretched out a hand to him. He took it and followed her when she led him around his couch and into his bedroom. Once there she turned and stood in front of him and began to unbutton her shirt.

Elliot watched as her hands trembled while moving down her shirt and her took them in his. "You don't have to do this you know."

She picked her head up and looked deep into his eyes. "I want to."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

He smiled. "Good, then let me undress you."

She smiled back and dropped her hands and allowed him to finish unbuttoning her shirt. He pushed her shirt off her shoulders and allowed it to fall to the floor before removing his own and dropping it. Her hungry eyes devoured his broad hard chest, and she slid her hands up over it as they went circle around his neck. He in turn circled his arms around her waist and drew her body flush against his before melding his mouth to hers. As they kissed his hands roamed freely over her body and he grabbed her ass and pulled her into contact with his erection. She moaned again and he moved his hands up to undo the clasp of her bra. She stepped back long enough to allow it to fall to the ground then went back to him. Elliot filled both hands with her breast and ducked down to lick them both.

"Elliot," she whispered as she arched her back into him.

He trailed his kisses upward and stopped to nibble and suck on her collarbone and was rewarded with more moans. His hands trailed down and undid her belt buckle along with the button to her jeans. His eyes locked with hers as he inched the zipper down slowly, giving her a chance to say no. When she didn't he pushed her jeans down low on her hips and bent down to nip at her hip bone as he pulled her jeans down around her ankles. He held her hand to help her keep her balance as she stepped out of her jeans. She pulled him up and unbuttoned his jeans, and once his zipper was down Elliot pushed his jeans down and stepped out them leaving him only in his boxers.

Once again they embraced and as they kissed he maneuvered her to his bed. He laid her down gently and then followed her down. He knelt down in front of her bent knees and observed the beautiful woman that lay before him. He reached up and hooked his fingers in the elastic band of her laced panties and as he drew his hand back her felt her shiver.

"Cold?" he asked.

"A little."

"Be right back," he said getting up off the bed.

"Wait, where're you going?"

"To turn up the heat."

She leaned forward on her elbows. "I'd prefer it if you warmed me up instead," she replied with a lopsided grin.

He grinned back. "I know, but I'll be right back I promise."

He hurried out to the living room and turned up the heat then grabbed a sheet on his way back to his room. When he got to his room he used the sheet to cover Olivia then removed his boxers and crawled in with her. She opened her legs and he settled himself in the cradle of her body.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much," she replied.

He stared into chocolate brown eyes and noticed something different in them. "You okay?"

"Yea," she nodded, but he continued to look at her quizzically. "Just nervous," she continued. "It's been awhile, you know."

"I won't hurt you."

"I know," she replied as she cupped the back of his head and drew him in for a kiss.

Long passionate kisses were passed between them as Elliot rocked slowly against her, arousing her, and she trailed a hand down to hold him and weigh him in her hand. He was hard and long and she smiled into their kiss. She removed her hand and shifted it through the short hairs at the nape of his neck as they continued to kiss, their bodies humming in anticipation.

"Condom?" she whispered once they parted for air.

"Right," he replied as if he just remembered.

He leaned over and reached for the draw of his night table. He shifted around for a minute until he found the box of condoms and pulled one out. She watched as he tore at the foil with his teeth and then slid it on to his engorged penis pushing the sheets low around his waist as he did so. Once he was sure the condom was secure he kissed Olivia softly then pushed into her gently as she held his gaze and wrapped her arms around his neck. She spread her legs wider and bent her knees to accommodate him as she moaned into his kiss and felt him stretch her then fill her. He pulled back slowly only to push back into her and repeat the process again.

"You okay?" he asked as he rocked against her.

She nodded and moved her hands to grip his shoulders. He trailed his kisses up her jaw line and then down her neck as her hips arched up to meet his. He pushed harder into her and began to move faster and she continued to meet him thrust for thrust. He removed his lips from her neck and rested his forehead against hers and they traded heated breaths as they continued to make love to each other. He lifted one of her legs over his hip, creating friction in a different spot and was rewarded with the moan of his name and more laboring of her breath. He felt a familiar tightening in his balls and pushed even harder into her seeking her release before claiming his own. Soft whimpers escaped her lips to match his grunts as they moved faster, together. Synchronized as the day they first began and as they will always be. He felt her clamp down on him and her back arched into him before he felt her begin to pulse around him. He stopped moving and waited as she came around him only to continue moving again and worked her until he felt her tighten around him again. She gasped for air as she felt his body stiffen above her and he groaned her name in her ear as he continued to push inside her, pushing as far as he could go before finally stopping and collapsing on top of her.

They lay together in a tangle of limbs and bathed in the healthy sweat of their lovemaking. She could feel his breath hot against her neck and turned her head to kiss his temple. He rose up off of her and carefully removed his flaccid penis, tied the condom off and threw it in the small trashcan beside his bed before turning back to her. He pulled her so that head rested on his out stretched arm and gazed deeply into her liquid brown eyes as he tangled the fingers of his free hand with hers.

"I love you," he whispered as he brought her delicate fingers to his lips.

Her lips curved into a small smile. "I love you too," she whispered back. He pulled her closer to him until her head rested on his shoulder and her hand settled over his heart. He pulled the cool sheets around their cooling bodies and covered the hand that lay over his chest with his own before closing his eyes as he drifted off into a peaceful sleep with her.

Stabler Residence

Olivia shifted in the warm bed and inhaled the scent of the sheets she was tangled in. She could tell that the sheets weren't hers, but they were comfortable and she snuggled into them. It was then that she felt his hand rested on her hip and she had to smile. She turned over to see him fast asleep, a gentle snore escaping his parted lips. She smiled again and kissed them softly before turning back to her side and glancing at the digital clock that illuminated the darkened room. 11:15. She sat up and slipped out of bed, being careful not to wake him.

She trailed around the room picking up and slipping on her lost articles of clothing, all the while looking for a pen and paper to leave him a note. She left the room and returned a couple minutes later with her boots and sat down on the bed and began to pull them on.

"Something wrong, Liv?"

She startles and turns around to find Elliot wide-awake and staring at her with accusation in his eyes. " I was hoping not to wake you."

"Why so you can sneak out of here without a word? I mean was I that bad or did I do something to deserve this."

She smiled at him, which only served to confuse him more. "On the contrary I thought that you were pretty good. Maybe even the best I've ever had."

That changed the angry frown on his face to a smile. "Yea?" he asked scooting closer to her.

"Yea," she nodded as she hooked one of her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. He used his tongue to part her lips before thrusting it inside of her mouth. He wrapped one of his arms around her waist and drew her closer while the other one went to undue the buttons of the shirt she just finished buttoning. "Elliot, I can't," she said into their kiss as she tried to pull away from him.

"Why?" he asked pushing his tongue back into her mouth as he pulled her closer and slid his hand through the slit he had just created and massaged her soft skin.

"Nicky," she answered simply.

At that he stopped and rested his forehead against hers. "Right," he breathed. "I completely forgot."

"'Sokay. But I have to go."

He nodded. "Let me walk you out."

"No El, it's fine. Go back to bed I can let myself out."

"Nope I'm walking you out." He stood and searched around for his boxers. Her eyes watched as his muscles flexed underneath the smooth skin of his hard muscular back, muscles that not too long ago had been flexing on top of her. Finally finding his boxers he pulled them up over his hips and turned to see her watching him. "Like what you see?"

"Yup. Actually I do." He walked over and took her hand and helped up before leading her out of his bedroom. He grabbed her coat and helped her into it then opened the door and let her out. She tilted her head to the side as she gazed into his beautiful blue eyes. "I had a really nice time tonight."

He wrapped his arms low around her waist. "Me too." He rested his forehead against hers. "I wish you could stay."

"I wish I could stay too, but…"

"You can't."

"I can't," they said simultaneously. She smiled and kissed his lips softly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He nodded. "Yea tomorrow."

She turned on her heals and headed down the hallway. He watched as she strolled down the hallway and reluctantly waved back at her before she stepped onto the elevator. He closed and locked the door then turned out the lights before heading back to his bedroom to fall back asleep with sheets that still smelled like her.

**Thanks for reading. :)**


	22. Midnight Lovin'

**For all those that caught the mistake. Thanks for letting me know. For all those who didn't or have no clue what I'm talking about…Keep reading and acting like nothing happened. **

Benson Residence

January 26th

Olivia quietly opened the door and crept into her condo, able to contain the huge smile on her face- the smile that had been there since she strolled down the hall from his apartment. She tossed her keys in the bowl on the table beside the door and hung up her coat before maneuvering through the darkness and into her son's room. She stood over his crib, bathed in the moonlight shining in from the window his window. He lay fast asleep on his back, softly snoring as he dreamed. She smoothed back his dark brown hair and kissed his forehead.

"I love you, baby."

She walked out of his room and closed the door behind her then headed off to Maureen's room. She snuck quietly into her roommate's room and grabbed the baby monitor beside her bed before heading to her room, placing it on her bedside table. She headed for the bathroom and flicked on the light before she began to undress herself. She was just about to drop her jeans when she heard a knock coming from her door. She hurriedly pushed her arms through her shirt then went off to answer it, not wanting the knocking to wake Nicky or Maureen. When she got to the door she looked through the peephole and smiled again when she saw who was standing on the other side of the door.

"I thought I told you I would see you tomorrow," she said as she opened the door to him.

"You did, but this is as long as I could wait. Besides that according to my watch it is tomorrow."

"Yea and what does it say? 12:01?"

He glanced down at his watch. "Actually yes, it does. But it doesn't look like you weren't expecting me, or do you always answer your door like that?" He asked as his eyes surveyed her beautiful body. Her jeans hung low on her hips and her shirt hung wide open.

"Only for you," she replied grabbing his collar and pulling him inside with her.

"Maybe I can help you finish getting undressed." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a roll of condoms that flipped down past his knees. "I came prepared." She threw her head back and laughed before covering her mouth with her hand and remembering where she is just as his hands circled her waist. "So yea?" he whispered against her lips.

"Yea. But I was going to shower first. Want to join me instead?"

He never answered. He simply watched as she turned around and trailed off silently to her bedroom. He felt a familiar tightening in his jeans and followed her into her bedroom. He arrived just in time to see her naked ass step into the shower through the door that she left open for him. He quickly shed his clothes and grabbed one of the condoms he brought before stepping into the shower behind her.

She turned around and smiled brightly at him. "I was wondering how long it was going to take you to get in here.

"Yea, there wasn't enough blood headed to the brain for me to get the message right away."

"Hmm. And how 'bout now?" she asked drawing him close to her so that they were now both soaked. She nipped at his jaw line, and he groaned before pulling her body so that it was flushed with his.

"Now my whole body only has one thing in mind," he said into her mouth as he moved in to kiss her.

He touched his lips to hers, softly, then traced her top lip with his tongue before touching it to hers. Their tongues tangled together as he made love to her mouth. He parted the kiss to open the condom and once she took it from him and slid it on for him. Once the condom was secure in its place he lifted once of her legs up on his hip and stepped into her, sliding into her simultaneously. He sealed his lips to hers and her arms came up to circle around his neck. He moved, pushing further inside her and lifting her in one fluid motion. She wrapped her legs around his waist and clung to him as he pressed her against the wall and began moving. His lips left hers and trailed hot fiery kisses down her neck as he continued to move inside her.

"Oh god, Elliot." She moaned.

"Liv," he groaned back. Both their moans and groans resonated throughout the bathroom and he had to stop to catch himself. "Liv, we're not alone."

She nodded and tried desperately to contain her moans as he continued to move inside her. He could feel her begin to tighten around him and looked up to see her teeth sink into her bottom lip. He gave her one firm powerful thrust and covered her mouth with his to help her stifle the cries that escaped her lips. As he felt her convulse around him he finally let go and rested his forehead against her shoulder as he struggled to catch his breath.

He lowered her easily back to the ground and waited to make sure she had caught her balance before he let go of her. They then began to wash each other, taking time the out to pay close attention to the delicate areas of their bodies, and trading soft kisses as they did so. The water soon became tepid and Elliot turned it off before stepping out of the shower grabbing one the big white fluffy towels hanging on the towel rack. He rubbed the towel over himself, trying to rid most of the water, and then wrapped it around his waist. He took the other and held it out to Olivia. She stepped into it and allowed him to dry her off and wrap the towel around her chest. Olivia shook her head rapidly from side to side trying to remove the excess amount of water in her hair.

"Hey!" Elliot exclaimed when a few droplets splattered all over him.

"It's just a little water, stop being a big baby," Olivia replied as she turned to the mirror and picked up her brush and began to brush her hair.

"Funny, that wasn't what you were saying a few minutes ago," he said against her neck as he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

She smiled brightly at him through the mirror. "True, but I didn't hear you complaining either." The last part she finished as a moan as he began to nibble on her neck.

"Yea. You finished?" he asked starring into her eyes through the mirror.

She nodded. He took the brush from her hand and placed it back on the counter then took one of her hands in his as he lead her out of her bathroom, flicking the lights off along the way. He turned to face her as he sat down on the edge of her bed. He pulled her to him and she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear as she sat down, straddling his waist and wrapping her arms around his neck.

He touched his lips to hers gently and wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her close to him. Soft languid kisses passed between them, heated by their passion and their love for one another. H e slipped his hand underneath her towel and rubbed his hand down her side and past her hip. Olivia moaned deep down in her throat when she felt the tips of his fingers graze her heated sex. She trailed her kisses down his neck stopping to nip at his collarbone before moving back up along his jaw line as he slid his middle finger inside of her. He was rewarded with another moan and he slid another finger inside if her. He moved his fingers back and forth rapidly and she braced herself against him as her breathing labored. She began to rock against him and tilted her head back. Elliot took advantage of her exposed neck and went to work on licking it and covering it with his kisses. She came, whimpering into his neck, and he held her close to his chest as his breathing returned to normal.

Elliot pushed her back slightly and unwrapped her towel before laying her down. He discarded his towel as he climbed on top of her. Just as he was about to kiss her they both heard a sharp wail come from the baby monitor. Elliot groaned and rested his forehead against hers.

"I warned you about this," she spoke as he let her up.

"Warned me about what?"

"I told you he might get in the way of things sometimes," she said moving to get up.

He stopped her with a tight grip on her arm. "Liv, he's not in the way." He looked at her and saw the hesitancy in her eyes, and knew exactly what she was thinking. "Hey I'm not some other guy. I understand."

"Thank you," she moved to get up again, but once again he stopped her.

"No, let me." He stood and searched for his boxers. After locating them he pulled them on and quickly washed his hands before heading into Nicky's room. Once he got there he looked over in the crib to find a very unhappy Nicky. "Hey, buddy, what's the matter?" he asked as he reached in and lifted Nicky from his crib. Elliot settled him against his chest and rubbed his back as he carried him back into Olivia's room. When Elliot got there he found her sitting on the bed dressed in a large T-shirt.

"What's the matter?" Olivia asked as Elliot passed her her son. She immediately adjusted herself and allowed him to latch on.

Elliot stood back and watched in amazement at the wonderful mother she had become. "You know you're good at that."

"What? Breast feeding?" she chuckled. "There really isn't anything to it."

"No smart ass." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Being a mother. I've watched you grow from the frazzled, tired, and scared mother you were with a three week old to the wonderful mother you are today."

"Elliot," she said softly as the blush climbed up her neck.

"No Liv, look at him" he said gesturing to her and the baby. "You know exactly what he wants and needs. You know his cries and everything."

"I should, Elliot. I'm his mother, have been for the past six moths. I guess it's a good thing Rose didn't know about the little incident, when he was three weeks old and I had lost my mind."

" You didn't loose your mind, you were just tired which is normal for being a single first time mother. She was stupid to even try and take him away from you. You know that right," he said as he sat down beside her.

"Yea, I do. And thank you so much for being there for me."

"You don't have to thank me. I would have been there regardless of whether or not you and I were involved."

"I know, but thank you anyway."

"Anytime, baby. Anytime."

She winced. "Don't say that. Please. Nick used to say that all the time an-"

"It's ok. It's no problem. The phrase is out of my phrase vocabulary."

"Your phrase vocabulary?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on her face.

"You know what I mean. Stop being a smart ass."

"Hey watch your language."

"Please, Liv he hasn't said Mama yet, let alone echo anything else."

"Ok, but if 'smart ass' are his first words you know I will have to hurt you."

"Yea, yea, yea. Is he done?"

"Looks like it. Great, my turn."

"You're so silly," she said pushing his head away.

"Fine, here," he said reaching for Nicky.

She passed him over to him and Elliot stood and cradled Nicky's head to his shoulder as he rocked slowly with him, trying to lull him to sleep. Olivia lay back and watched Elliot with her son. She loved the way he loved him as if he were his own, and knew that the feeling was mutual. She closed her eyes and could faintly hear Elliot hum _Twinkle Twinkle_ _Little Star_ to Nicky, and allowed the soft monotone of his voice lull her to sleep. Elliot looked down and saw that Nicky was fast asleep. He looked up to tell Olivia the news and saw that she was fast asleep herself. He carefully laid Nicky down beside her and turned off the lights before climbing into bed beside them. He covered Olivia up and kissed her, then Nicky. He lay back down and closed his eyes and fell asleep with the new members of his family.

**Thanks for Reading:)**


	23. Surprise

**Ok. So Apparently every time I upload a new document it copies the old one. Soooooooooooooooooo… If you ACCIDENTALLY get a repeat of a chapter, just remember that it isn't my fault. Thanks so much for the wonderful R&R-ing. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I thinkit's what it feels like to be addicted to coke. Not that I do coke or any drugs for that matter it's just…Oh forget it! Just read. :/ **

Benson Residence

January 27th

Elliot opened his eyes and looked over next to him in the slightly darkened room. He could tell that he wasn't in his own bed, but it didn't matter to him; it still felt like home. He rose up on his elbow, glanced over at the clock, and made the decision to get up. He would need to be out in time to make it home and change for work, but wasn't ready to leave yet. He wanted a bit more time with Olivia before they entered back into their charade of a life, where they were partners and nothing more. He got up quietly and glanced back at Olivia and Nicky. Both were still fast asleep with Olivia's hand resting on Nicky's back. He crept quietly out into the kitchen to start some coffee for himself and to heat up some water for her tea. He smiled to himself, knowing that at any moment she would emerge from her room. She may have given up caffeine for the time being, but he also knew that she was still addicted to it.

He smiled when he heard her faint footsteps heading towards him. "Works every time," he muttered to himself. "Hey ba-"

"Daddy?"

"Maureen. I-I wasn't expecting you here."

"I live here, remember?"

"Right…" He quickly contemplated a way to explain to his more than clever daughter the reason why he was standing in what was technically _her_ kitchen in nothing but his boxers.

"Don't," she said holding up a hand.

"What?"

"Don't bother trying to come up with a lie, Dad, I know you and Olivia have been seeing each other."

"You do? She told you?"

"No, but I'm not stupid, Dad. I've seen the signs. You're here all the time and you too have been kind of chummy lately. I just wish she had told me. I thought she trusted me enough to let me know. We've gotten so close since I've moved in here, she's like the older sister I never had."

"Maureen, please don't blame her. She wanted to tell you, she did, I just…wasn't ready for you guys to know yet. She kept it quiet for me, so please, please don't blame her."

"Why didn't you want us to know?"

"I wanted to see how serious this was first, before I told you guys."

"Are you? Serious?"

"Yea, I love her and she feel's the same way."

A smile lit up Maureen's face. "Then I'm happy for you too." She leaned up and hugged him and kissed his cheek. "Congratulations Daddy. I'll tell Olivia the same later. I'm going back to bed, now. I can still catch a couple of winks, I don't have classes till eight today."

"'K." he watched her disappear into her room and turned to pour his coffee. Just as he was adding the cream and sugar he felt someone tap his soldier. He turned in that direction only to find the space empty and then he turned back to find Olivia's beautiful smiling face. "You're such a jokester, you know?"

"Thank you," she smiled back as she leaned up to kiss him.

"Where's Nicky?"

"Still sleeping." At his raised eyebrow she continued. "Don't worry, I left pillows. He won't go anywhere."

"Good. So how much time do we have?"

"I'd say about twenty minutes."

He moved his coffee to the side before lifting her onto the counter top and covering her lips with his. She returned the kiss with equal fervor and brought her hands up to cup his face. He pulled her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her back. They broke apart when they could no longer go without air.

She smiled against his lips. "I love that."

"What?"

"Kissing you."

"And what else?"

"Hmmm. This," She replied as she seductively trailed her hand down and into his boxers to cup him.

"Wow, so you love me for my body."

"Yea, that and a few other things that you can do."

"I'm glad I please so much."

"You do. And guess what."

"What?"

"I love you."

"Really? Me? And just me?"

"Yes you, and just you."

"Yea well guess what?"

"What?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He kissed her sweetly before pulling away, but still resting his forehead against hers. "Maureen knows."

"What!?" She exclaimed pulling away from him. "She knows?"

"Yea. She caught me out here making coffee."

"Elliot how could you be so careless?"

"Liv, for the eighteen years she lived with me she never woke for anything after her baby years. How did I know she would get up?"

"I should have told you. She's inherited your innate coffee addiction. But still Elliot, now I have to go explain this all to her. Excuse me," she said trying to push him out of the way so that she could go talk to Maureen.

"Liv, it's Ok. I explained everything. She understands."

"She does?"

"Yea, now I'll admit she was a bit upset at first but I explained everything and she understands now."

"Good. Now you have to go, or else we'll both be late."

"Aww, but mom do I have to?"

"Yes," she replied shoving him back. She hopped down and headed towards her room.

He followed behind her thinking, _"I can get used to this."_

**Thanks for Reading! ****J**


	24. Comfortable

**I just want to say thanks again for all the wondefull and asome reviews. You guys keep me going strong and give me so much confidence in myself you don't even know it. This is officially my favorite chapter. It's the snow. I love the snow when it just falls and the moon shines on it and it's all sparkly. :D Especially when it leads to a snow day afterwards. ;). The only sucky thing is when I have to wait in it to take the bus and it's up to my ass. Reall. It's up to my ass and it's cold. Anyways. Enough chit chat. Read the stori, and I hope you all enjoy. ;) **

Benson Residence

February 2nd

Elliot stood outside of Olivia's door, waiting for her to answer it. Over the past few days Elliot began to realize just how difficult it was to date a woman with a young child and a hectic job. They had put off their date for days, and finally- tonight - they had found the time to go out. Though it was hard for him to date Olivia he found that the few moments he was able to spend alone with her were more than precious to him. Even the time he spent with her son.

He had come over to her place after setting up his apartment for their romantic evening. The original plan was for them to meet at his place; but she wanted to spend some time with Nicky before they went out, which he didn't mind. It gave him the time to make the evening even more special for them.

"Hi Daddy," Maureen said as she opened the door.

"Hey baby girl," he smiled and hugged her before stepping in. He headed for the living room where he found Olivia sitting on the blanket she and Maureen had spread out on the floor, various toys strewn around her and Nicky. The TV was on, but Olivia's main focus seemed to be her son, as she held him up in the air and laughed and smiled up at him. Maureen walked over and took her seat in front of Olivia. "Are you ready?" he asked.

"Almost," she replied as she kissed Nicky's cheek and handed him off to Maureen. She stood and headed off to her room where she grabbed her things to go. She came back out to the living room and began to place her hat, gloves, and jacket on. "Be sure to have him in bed by 8:30, maybe even earlier since you said he had his nap a little earlier today. I left some more bottles in the fridge, so you two should be all set," she said as she slipped on her last glove.

"Ok," Maureen replied. "You two have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"Hopefully we'll be doing plenty of things that you wouldn't be doing," Elliot grunted when Olivia's elbow came in contact with Elliot's lower abdomen.

"Gross, Dad."

"Don't mind your father. I'll see you later," she turned to leave and began to head for the door but was stopped when she heard Nicky begin to fuss. "It's ok, baby. Momma will be home soon." She walked over and kissed his cheek once more before allowing Elliot to lead her out of her condo. "So where to?" she asked once they stepped out of the building.

"The Border Café"

"What's that?"

"A little restaurant I stumbled across awhile ago. I've been meaning to take you there, but we haven't exactly gotten the chance to go."

"'K, where's the car?"

"No car. We're walking."

"Walking? Elliot it's freezing and look, it's beginning to snow," she said motioning around them.

"C'mon Liv. When was the last time you took the time to just walk and enjoy the fresh snow and fresh air?"

"Elliot we're in the middle of New York. There's no such thing as clean air here, and walking in the snow isn't exactly on my to-do list."

"Well it should be. Now c'mon," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her along.

"Elliot I'm cold. Can we at least take a cab to the restaurant? Please?"

"Fine, but it really isn't all that far."

"Where is it?"

"Its a couple blocks from my apartment."

"That's at least ten blocks away."

"Fine we'll take the cab, but we're walking back," he said as he hailed a cab.

"Why? Too cheap for cab fare?" she asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Nope. I feel that a walk after dinner would be romantic," he replied as a cab pulled up in front of them.

"Aww. You're trying to be romantic for me," she teased.

"Shut up and get in," he told her as he held open the cab door for her.

"Is that the way you talk to someone who may be giving you some later," she said as she slid into the cab.

"Oh, so I'm getting some later?"

"Maybe, she replied smugly."

Elliot shook his head at her and ratted off the location to the driver. As they began to drive off Elliot took her hand in his and she responded by kissing him sweetly.

Border Café

Manhattan, NY

Elliot and Olivia stepped out of the Mexican themed restaurant after eating their fill and began to walk down the block towards Elliot's apartment. Elliot took her hand in his, and she rested her head on his shoulder

"That place was nice," she spoke softly.

"I'm glad you liked it."

"It would have come in handy when I was pregnant with Nicky. I had a big thing for Mexican."

"I remember. Do you know how long it would take me to find one for you when I used to buy you lunch, and I only found it _after_ he was born."

"Well who could have known with a name like that? I thought they served sea food."

"True."

"And thank you. I'm not sure if I did before, but thank you for stepping up to the plate after Nick died. I don't know where I would have been without you, and I don't think I ever want to know."

"You did, and you don't have to thank me. I was glad to do it, and I'm even more glad now, because Nicky knows me. And it's great to feel loved like that again."

"I love you," she protested.

"I know, but the love I receive from you and him are two different types of love."

She nodded. "Hey, let's go to the park."

"What? You, the one who didn't want to walk and was complaining that it was too cold wants to go out of her way?"

"Yes. Now are you finished?"

"Wait just one more," he said holding up a finger. She elbowed him in the stomach. "I'm done," he said tightly as he followed her towards the park.

"You know I never knew you were so abusive," he said with a frown as he rubbed his stomach.

"I'm not abusive."

"I'd beg to differ."

"Would you also like to keep your teeth?" she smiled sweetly.

"Shutting up."

Both linked fingers and began to walk towards the park. Once there, they let go of each other and Elliot walked in front of her and into the open field as if searching for the reason she had wanted to bring him here.

"So what's up Liv?" he asked spinning around to face her, only to receive a mouth full of snow once he came to a stop in front of her. He wiped his face off with his hands humorously as he heard her laughing. He opened his eyes to see her bent over, laughter flowing through her full and heartily like he'd never seen before. "Oh so you think that's funny?" he asked as he balled up a clump of snow and flung it at her, hitting her in the head.

"Hey!" she exclaimed. He took off running, but she quickly balled up another clump of snow and flung it at him, hitting him straight in the face when he turned to see if she was following behind him.

"Oh you're gonna pay for that." He knew he should have known better than to run from her; she did have impeccable aim. She took off running and he quickly chased after her. After awhile and hardened effort he caught up to her grabbing her and rolling her to the ground and pinning her beneath him.

"Elliot," she whined. "Are you going to let me up or just hover over me?" she chuckled.

He smiled down at her. He loved the healthy sound of her laughter and flushed color of her cheeks. He loved the way the moonlight shined in her dark brown eyes, full of laughter. He loved her. He leaned down, slanting his lips over hers, and both smiled as he pulled back and let her up. He sat down in the snow and pulled her to sit between his legs, wrapping his arm around her. She hooked her hands over his as she leaned back, resting her head on his shoulder. "Look out there," he pointed.

She looked, but found nothing but the falling snow. "What am I looking for?"

"Look at snow at the ground."

She did and watched as the freshly fallen blanket of snow shined and shimmered in the moonlight. "It's beautiful," she said softly.

"Yea, my mom showed me this a long time ago. I don't know how old I was, but I never forgot it."

She nodded. "Elliot, have I ever told you how much I like it when it snows?"

"No."

"I hate the cold, but I love the snow. I love how quiet and peaceful it is when it snows and then when it's finished I love how everything is white. Pure. Clean. It's as if the snow cleanses the city of all its sins in one night, but just like the snow it never lasts. But it's as for just that one day or night everything is new, and…pure. You know what I mean?"

Elliot had been listening to her with pure astonishment. He had never known her to be so deep, so wise. "Yea," he answered softly. "My mother liked the snow too. She said her best memories happened when it snowed."

"Mine too. My first kiss. The first time I remembered my mother telling me she loved me. The first time we made love. The night I found out I was pregnant," she smiled to herself. Elliot smiled too and nuzzled her neck. They sat there together in a comfortable silence, absorbing the night and the peacefulness of the falling snow. "Elliot," she said softly.

"Yea?" he answered back just as softly.

"My butt's cold."

He had to laugh. "Way to kill the moment, Liv."

"Well it is."

"Well how 'bout we go back to my place and I'll warm you up."

"I thought you'd never ask."

Elliot opened the door to his two-bedroom apartment and allowed Olivia to step into the darkened room before he followed her in. "Wait here," he said, using a hand to stop her from moving forward. He maneuvered around her to go into the living room.

Olivia stood quietly, waiting for him to come back to her. "What are you doing?" she asked when she heard him fiddling around with something. Just as the words left her mouth she saw a small spark and then a small ember began. She watched as he poked around with a golden poker and watched as the ember turned into a blaze. Once the room was lit from the glow of the healthy fire she looked around to the coffee table and couch pushed out of the way and in their place was a dark brown bear skinned rug along with a few throw pillows left about, right in front of the fire. He walked back over to her with a large grin on his face. "You planned all this didn't you?" she asked as she circled her arms around his waist.

"Maybe," he answered as he began to unzip her blue parka jacket.

She pulled off her gloves and dropped them unto the floor as she brought her hands up to push his jacket off his shoulders. He slid her jacket off her shoulders and pulled her hat off so that he could tangle his fingers in the silky strands of her hair. She toed off her shoes and socks, and he did the same as he lifted her knit top over her head. Once her hands were free she went for his shirt and once his shirt was in the mix of clothes puddle on the floor she began to undo his belt buckle. He stood back and watched her nimble fingers unbutton and unzip his pants before pushing them down to pool around his ankles. He stepped out of them and pulled her flush against his body. She held him close to her and allowed him to slide his tongue into her mouth when he kissed her. He hoisted her up and she moved her arms to wrap around his neck as her legs did the same around his waist. He then walked them over to the rug and laid her down, pulling one of the pillows to him so that her head rested on it.

Once she was on the floor beneath him she could feel the heat emanating from the blaze dancing on her skin. He moved his kiss from her lips and up her jaw line and kissed the soft spot right below her ear. He smiled when he felt her moan rumble against his lips. He licked around the ear as his fingers worked on her belt buckle. He pulled back and unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans before pulling them off of her, one foot at a time. Her cell phone fell off the clip of her pants and he passed it to her. She placed it just above her head and turned back to him just as his he came up to hover over her. He pressed his lips back to hers as he slid his arm behind her back to unhook her bra. It drew the scrap of lace away from her body and tossed it behind him. He once again moved his kisses from her lips, but this time moved them down her neck and the rest of her body. He stopped to swirl his tongue into her belly button as he dipped his fingers into her panties.

"Elliot," she moaned softly when she felt him stroke her.

He removed her panties and took one of the cushions lying about and slipped it underneath her waist. He parted her legs gently and hooked one of her legs over his shoulder before parting her nether lips and using his tongue to stroke her. He smiled to himself when he felt her shiver beneath him and continued feasting on her. He stopped his ministrations only to slide a finger into her and then adding a second. She arched her hips up to meet him and he removed his fingers so that he could continue feasting on her again. She trailed her fingers down and through his short-cropped hair. She arched her hips up once more and with one more flick of his tongue over her clit she came, and he remained until he had sucked up all of her juices.

He moved back up her body and covered her mouth with his, allowing her to taste herself on him. Her hands moved down and pushed his boxers off of his hips and used her feet to take them off of him completely. He stretched over her and picked up one of the condoms he left there and she grinned up at him as she took the small package away from him and tore at the foil with her teeth.

"You so planed this," she smiled as she rolled the condom on him.

He grinned back at him. "What can I say? I was a boy scout, I always have to be prepared."

"Were not a boy scout," she chuckled.

"Still doesn't mean I can't be prepared."

She giggled as she hooked one arm around his neck and the other underneath his arm, sprawling her hand across his shoulder as she spread her legs wider to accommodate him. He pressed his lips to her smile and just as her tongue reached out to touch his he slid effortlessly into her body. Olivia moaned into his mouth and he began to move, thrusting deep inside her. She sprawled both hands across his back as she began to meet his thrusts with her own. Elliot began to move faster and press harder inside of her. He loved the leverage he received from being down on the floor. She tilted her head back as a deep sultry moan escaped her lips to go with his own. Just as he began to trail hot fiery kiss down her neck they heard a phone ring. Olivia craned her neck to see whose it was and found that it was hers. She reached over to pick it up when his hand intercepted hers, knocking the ringing device out of her hand and twining her fingers with his. He shifted positions, his tip moving against that infamous G-spot.

She gasped and grasped his hand in hers and ranked the nails of her other hand down his back. "Elliot," she moaned through gritted teeth.

"Liv," he groaned back.

She pushed at him until he rolled over unto his back, leaving her on top. She braced one hand on his chest and the other on his thigh as she began to rock back and forth over him. He moved his hands up her body, filling them with her breasts. He massaged them gently, and gazed up at her beautiful form. He loved the glow of the fire on her tanned skin and in her eyes. The way the fire highlighted every curve of her body, and he found him loving her more. She began to rock even faster over him and he pushed up into her, meeting her thrusts with his own. He held her hip in one used the other to play with her clit. She could feel her orgasm building low in her belly and leaned over him, pressing her lips to his in a bruising kiss. He emptied himself inside her as she came around him, and then collapsed down on her chest. Elliot pulled over a blanket he had near by and used it to cover their cooling bodies. He wrapped his arms around her and held while she caught her breath.

"Wow… that was…"

"Yea," she answered sensing his thoughts. "I love you," she whispered into his neck.

A brilliant smile lighted his face, "I love you too."

She rolled off of him and reached for her phone while clutching part of the blanket to her chest. He sighed. "Liv, can't it wait?"

Her eyes remained focused on the screen. "No, it was Maureen," he watched her hit the send button and listened into her side of the conversation as she talked on the phone. "Yea it's me. What's up?.. ok well did you?.. uh huh.. Alright I'm on my way. I'm walking but I'll be there as soon as possible…Alright, bye."

"What's up?" he asked when she stood and began searching for her clothes.

She found her underwear and pulled them up over her hips and took her bra from Elliot when he handed it to her. "Thanks. Nicky's sick, so I gotta go."

"Sick? Did Maureen say what was wrong?"

"Sounded like a cold," she replied as she pulled her belt through the belt loops of her jeans.

"Alright I'm coming with you," he stood and pulled on his boxers.

"No, Elliot it's ok. I got everything covered. It doesn't make sense for both of us to be sleep deprived tomorrow. One of us has to be in shape to catch the bad guys."

"Well at least let me walk you home. It's late and I don't like you being out by yourself."

"No."

"Liv."

"I can protect myself, El. I'll be fine, and we both know that if you do you'll end up spending the night and getting no sleep whatsoever." she shrugged on her coat and double-checked to make sure she had everything she came with.

"That's beside the point." At her look he caved and silently agreed. "Well then wait here." She did as he asked and waited by the door for him. He returned quickly. "Here," he said handing her his gun.

"No, Elliot, we both know that I can't take this."

"Yes you can and I'm not taking no for an answer either you take this from me now, or I walk your ass home." She starred at him silently. "You can give it back to me tomorrow when you come back into work."

"You stubborn son of a bitch. Fine, give it here," she agreed, taking the gun from him and checking to make sure the safety was on before shoving it in her pocket, knowing that he was just as stubborn as she was. "I'll see you tomorrow." She turned and opened the door when she felt him pull her back to him.

He hugged her in his arms and kissed the corner of her mouth. "I love you too."

She had to smile and sunk into his hug. "I love you. Bye." With one final kiss to his lips she turned and left to go home to her son.

"And call me when you get home."

**More to come soon!Thanks for Reading! **


	25. Sick

**Just a little sumthin',sumthin'. Big twist heading your way soon. ;) **

SVU Squad Room

February 3rd

Elliot walked into the squad room to find Olivia's seat empty, and all of a sudden his heart began to pound. She was always in before him. He looked up to see Cragen exited his office.

"Where's Liv?" Elliot asked.

"She just called in and said she won't be in today. It's slow and Munch and Fin are going to work the Pryce case. So unless anything comes in you're on ass duty for the day."

He nodded and, once Cragen had disappeared back into his office, he pulled out his cell phone, but stopped mid dial when he heard someone calling him by his second name.

"Dad!" His eldest daughter whispered in harsh voice.

"Oh, sorry sweetie. What's up?"

"Here. Liv asked if I could bring this to you," she said handing him a brown paper bag. "It's kinda heavy, what's in it?"

"Nothing you need to worry about. Thanks, honey."

"Well I figure I would get to see since she was so adamant about me bringing it here as soon as possible without looking in it. Is it drugs or something?"

"No. Now forget about it."

"Whatever."

"So how was everything last night?"

"I don't know. Liv let me go to bed once she got there. But from the look on her face this morning I don't think neither she nor Nicky got any sleep last night. She said that she was taking Nicky to the doctor though."

"It's that serious?"

"I don't know. She didn't say much. But it's not the ER so I guess that's a good thing. Look Dad, I got classes, so I'll see you later?"

"Sure." With a kiss on her cheek she was gone. Elliot turned back to his desk and sat down. He removed his gun from his paper bag and set it in its holster and then began on both his and Olivia's paperwork.

SVU Squadroom

Elliot looked at his watch again. It was nearing four and he still hadn't heard from Olivia, and was beginning to worry. He called both her cell and house numbers multiple times, and had yet to receive an answer. He tried her cell again, but only got her voicemail. He then decided to try her house again, and on the fourth ring he heard a raspy voice answer the phone.

"Hello?" Olivia answered groggily.

"Hey, it's me."

She cleared her throat and tried again. "Hi."

"I've been trying to reach you all day. Where've you been?"

"The ER."

"The ER? What's wrong? Is everything Ok?"

"Calm down Elliot. Everything's fine. I just had to bring Nicky there this morning. And of course it took forever for us to even be seen and then they wanted tests and then I had to get his prescription filled. And overall it's just been a really long day."

"So what was wrong?"

"Ear infection. Something about him getting water in his ear or something of that nature. But anyways we were up all night. He was very unhappy and I couldn't figure out what was wrong. He only slept an hour at a time and it wasn't until this morning, when his temperature had reached a hundred and two that I took him in."

"Why didn't you call me? I could have helped you."

"Elliot if I had called you would have come over here and you would probably look like ass right now."

"Well it wouldn't matter because I've been at my desk all day."

"Beats waiting in a hospital ER with a fussy baby and a bunch of smelly strangers."

"Aww Liv. You should have called me. I would have sat with you."

"Yea, but what's done is done."

"So how is he now?"

"Conked out on my chest. The drugs knocked him out. I just feel so bad. I should have taken him last night. The doctor told me he was probably in a lot of pain, and I believe him. I should have brought him earlier, but I just thought it was some kind of cold or something," she said in a soft voice and he could tell she was crying.

"Hey, Liv. Don't do that to yourself. You did your best. You're not a doctor; you couldn't have known what was wrong. I probably would have done what you did. Babies are miserable when they're sick. You have no way of telling what exactly's wrong unless a doctor tells you. Look, have you eaten yet?"

"No."

"'K. I'll bring over some dinner and we'll relax the rest of the night."

"Thank you Elliot. I love you."

"I love you too baby. I'm leaving now. See you in a few." HE hung up the phone and headed to Cragen's office to let him know that he was leaving. Once he had received the Ok he grabbed his coat and left.

Benson Residence

Elliot quietly let himself into Olivia's apartment, knowing that Olivia and Nicky were most likely asleep and not wanting to wake them. He placed the brown paper bag that held their dinner on the counter then walked into Olivia's room to put down his duffle bag. He walked back out into the living room where Olivia and Nicky were still fast asleep. He carefully picked Nicky up, not wanting to wake him, and walked him into his bedroom. He placed the baby in his crib and covered him up, feeling his forehead to make sure he didn't have a fever. Once he was satisfied that Nicky was ok, he turned on the baby monitor in his room and took the other before heading back out into the living room. Once there he shifted Olivia so that he could lie underneath her. She wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his chest. He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her as he settled in and slept with her. This was his family now. His life. He knew that this was where he belonged.

**More to come soon! Thanks for Reading! **


	26. Epilogue Part I

**It's short and sweet. Hope you like it. ;)**

Stabler Residence

June 10th

Olivia walked into Nicky's room where he was playing on the floor with his building blocks. She was waiting for Elliot to come home. They had plans to go out for dinner. They had been married now for past ten months. Both were beyond happy and were enjoying life together as a family. They all lived together in her condo and she never imagined a time in her life where she was happier. She walked over and sat down beside her one-year-old son, and now also Elliot's one year old son.

Elliot adopted him just before they were married and gave him the last name Stabler. Their wedding had been small, but perfect in every way. Cragen had given her away and Maureen had stood as her maid of honor. Elliot chose Dickie as his best man and the young boy stood proudly beside his father, honored to be given such a task. She had worn a long halter-top silk white dress that hugged her in all the right places. Elliot hadn't been able to keep his eyes off of her as she walked gracefully down the aisle, and had cried when he slipped the princess cut diamond right on her finger, that he had had inscribed simply _Stabler Forever_. He had showed her the inscribe after they had finished consummating their marriage and had laid tangle in the hotel sheets and each other's arms.

Things continued to change from then on. Elliot gave up being her partner and began working at Manhattan South as a homicide detective. It had been difficult at first given their rough past, but once everyone saw the kind of guy he was they all seemed to get along fine.

"Hey sweetie. Whatcha doing?"

"Buillin'," he responded without taking his eye off his work.

"Building? What are you building?"

"Buillin'"

"A building? Well can Mommy help?"

"Uh huh," he replied handing her a block.

She began working with her son, enjoying the precious time she got to spend with him. She figured that he would be working for his own company pretty soon. Architecture seemed to be in his blood. She heard a knock on the door and wondered who it could be. She kissed her son's head and ran her fingers through his dark curls that she loved so much before standing and going to answer the door.

She smiled to herself, figuring it was Elliot playing some game or silly surprise on her. She opened the door without looking through the peephole. "Elliot wh-" she froze when she saw just exactly who was on the other side of the door. "Nick?"

**More to come soon! Thanks for Reading! **


	27. Epilogue Part II

**Thanks for all the great reviews. They've been great. Happy Valentine's Day!!!!!!! Now the chapter you've all been waiting for. ;)**

Stabler Residence

June 10th

Her eyes filled with tears as she saw the man she once loved standing before her. He wore the same expensive suit he always used to wear. He had same sandy blonde hair he always used to have, cut the same way he always had. "What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice coming out softly.

"What do you mean what am I doing here? I came to see you." He walked in and hugged her and she couldn't help but hug him back, but then all the pain that she thought had gone away came flooding back and she pushed him away. "Liv?"

"Mommy? Who dat?" Nicky asked.

"Is that him?" Nick asked as tears of happiness filled his eyes. He walked over and scooped up his son and held him close.

"Mommy," Nicky cried.

"Stop it." Olivia said prying Nicky from Nick's arms. "You're scaring him." She walked into the living room and took a seat on the couch, her arms still clinging to her son as she placed him in her lap.

Nick walked over, noticing the small subtle changes in the place where he had once called home, and took a seat beside her. "Where are all our pictures?"

"I put them away. I couldn't look at them after you di-. Nick what happened to you? You- you died. I was at your funeral." It was then she remembered it being a closed casket service. "You weren't even in there."

It was then that he decided to come clean. "I've been in the witness protection program. I got involved in some things I wasn't supposed to and ended up there. So what's his name?"

"Nicky."

"Nicky huh? That wasn't one of the names we discussed. I'm surprised you named him after me." He smiled.

"I couldn't really think of anything else at the time. What are you doing here?"

"I had to testify in court this week. The trial's over so I came to see you.

Just then they heard the key in the door and Elliot stepped into the condo. "Daddy!" Nicky squealed as he sprung from his mother's arms and headed straight for Elliot.

"Hey buddy." Elliot said as he bent down to receive his son. He smiled as Nicky ran straight into his arms and Elliot picked him up and headed for the living room. He froze in the doorway when he saw Nick sitting on the couch.

Nick sprung from the couch, anger flashing in his eyes. "What the hell is this?! Why is my son calling him Daddy?" He looked over at the mantle and it was then that he saw the wedding photo.

"Don't. I think you should go."

"What?"

"I said you should go. Leave! Now!"

"Wait. Livia. Meet with me tomorrow for coffee. We can talk. At our old spot, Please?"

"I don't know. Just go. Now, please."

Nick reluctantly began walking toward the door. "I'll be there, if you decide to come."

Once he left Elliot turned back to Olivia. "What's going on?"

She shook her head. "I don't know."

"Well are you going to go and see him tomorrow?"

"I don't know."

Lisa's Coffee Shoppe

Manhattan, NY

June 11th

Olivia stepped into the quaint coffee shop and glanced around in search of the man she had come to see. Nick spotted her first and waved her over. She treaded over on reluctant feet, and took her seat quietly across form him.

"I'm so glad you came." She nodded. "Can I order you something? Latte? Right?"

"Nick, I didn't come over here to sit and have coffee with you."

"I know, but this is awkward enough. Just let me get you a coffee. "

She nodded and waited while he ordered her coffee. The waitress returned fairly quickly and deposited Olivia's coffee before heading off on her way. She doctored her coffee in silence then took a few sips. "So…"

"So I bet you want to know what happened." Olivia didn't respond. "I walked in on something I shouldn't have. A murder at my office. They told me to keep my mouth shut or else they would kill me too. I did as they said. Couple weeks later I woke up in a hospital room and they told me I was dead."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you were pregnant! And a cop. Do you know how easily they could have gotten to you? And you refused to work at a desk like I begged you to. I had to do what I could do to protect you and Nicky."

"You still should have told me. Why didn't you at least contact me?"

"I tried."

"You should have tried harder!"

"Livia."

"No, don't _Livia_ me! Do you know what I've been through without you? I almost lost him mourning your death. Your mother tried to take him from me. If it wasn't for Elliot, I don't know where I would be now."

"I know, and believe me, when she told me I was not happy, but there wasn't anything I could do."

She sighed and nodded, taking a sip of her coffee. "So why are you here?"

"I want to get to know my son."

"I won't stop you from seeing him."

"Yea, but… They want to put me back in witness protection, just to be safe. And I want you and Nicky to come with me."

"No."

"Livia please. He's my son I want to get to know him. I want to be in his life."

"Nick do you understand what you're saying? I married now. You want me to up and leave my husband and my life. I can't. I can't do that to him, besides that he loves Nicky, and Nicky loves him. "

"Look. I walked in on something I shouldn't have. And since then my whole world has been turned upside down. I lost you. I missed the birth of my son. Do you know how long I was waiting for that? I was counting down the fucking days for goodness sake!" His eyes filled with tears. "Nicky means the world to me. All I'm asking for is for another chance." He reached over and took her hand in his. "Please."

Stabler Residence

Olivia quietly crept into the condo that she and Elliot shared. She had spent the whole day with Nick. He kept trying to convince her to come with him, continually turned down his offer. She walked into her bedroom and went over to Elliot's side of the bed. She kissed his lips sweetly then turned around and went into Nicky's room. She packed a small bag for him then went over to his crib and carefully lifted him out of it. She put his coat on over his full-bodied pajamas. Then carried him with her out of his room and ran head on into Elliot.

"What's going on, Liv?" Her eyes filled with tears as her lower lip trembled and she looked down at the floor. "You're leaving me aren't you?"

"I'm sorry."

"You're leaving me." He shook his head in disbelief. "You're leaving me. I can't believe you! After every fucking thing we've been through you're just gonna up and leave me? Fuck you!!"

She jumped a bit at his raised voice. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice coming out on a soft whisper.

"Why? Why Liv?" his voice cracked. "I loved you. I thought you loved me too."

"I do."

"Then how can you be leaving me?"

"You don't understand."

"Then tell me."

"I can't. They're waiting for me. Waiting for us."

He shook his head and stepped out her way. He watched her retreating back, carrying his son with her. She opened the door and stepped through and looked back to see the tears that were falling from his sad blue eyes glisten in the moonlight. "I love you," she whispered.

He watched the door close behind them before he whispered back. "I love you too, Liv."

**I know. I know. What the f-. Yes that's the end. The end to the whole story. Yes, I'm F-ing serious. No I'm not joking. No it's not a dream. BUT!!!!! I have a way to fix it. You know what to do to find out how.**


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